What is the correct way to wipe?

There's a bit of a debate going on about what is the correct way to wipe your arse after having a poo. I think the correct way is the stand up and others seem to think sat down. Am I alone in thinking standing up is correct?

Hahaha.

Only a mental case would do it sat down, and without toilet paper too.

i sort of shuffle off the seat a bit to get a good angle and then wipe.You have to examine the results as well, its the law.

I really hope we avoid liquidation on Monday because I would hate to think that this was one of the last threads created on Nuts while the club was still alive....

Stop inspecting the contents of that piece of bog roll and take a good look at yourselves instead...

(And anyway, the important question isn't about sitting Vs standing, it's about the direction of travel. ie, back to front or front to back?)

Breadman wrote:I really hope we avoid liquidation on Monday because I would hate to think that this was one of the last threads created on Nuts while the club was still alive....

Stop inspecting the contents of that piece of bog roll and take a good look at yourselves instead...

(And anyway, the important question isn't about sitting Vs standing, it's about the direction of travel. ie, back to front or front to back?)

It is a very serious question Breadman.

I don't believe this forum sometimes   (are other forums like this one ?)

gloswhite wrote:I don't believe this forum sometimes   (are other forums like this one ?)

It makes things interesting.

toilet roll or wet wipes? This is also a very important matter as well

Norpig wrote:toilet roll or wet wipes? This is also a very important matter as well

Both first toilet roll then wet wipes then toilet roll again to dry up.

Norpig wrote:toilet roll or wet wipes? This is also a very important matter as well

Both. Loo roll first then the wipes for that ring of confidence that you could eat your dinner off. OK maybe not.

Can't believe I'm getting involved in this angry dad style thread but sitting down and leaning to the side like you're trying to fart while sat on a chair is the way to go for me. In answer to breads question, it's always front to back. That ones not even open to interpretation, it's a given.

Leeds_Trotter wrote:There's a bit of a debate going on about what is the correct way to wipe your arse after having a poo. I think the correct way is the stand up and others seem to think sat down. Am I alone in thinking standing up is correct?

Where is this debate happening LT? At what point in your life do you end up having nothing else to debate other than how you wipe your arse? 

Must be grim in Leeds.

Bwfc1958 wrote:

Leeds_Trotter wrote:There's a bit of a debate going on about what is the correct way to wipe your arse after having a poo. I think the correct way is the stand up and others seem to think sat down. Am I alone in thinking standing up is correct?

Where is this debate happening LT? 

Houses of Parliament.

You will be charged if you do it wrong and have to pay a tax if you use both toilet roll and wet wipes.

What do you posh people who use wet wipes do with them when you're finished?

You can't flush them, so do you put them in a bin in your bathroom?

That's just dirty.......

Half way up, for me.

Norpig wrote:You have to examine the results as well, its the law.

Is this just a visual examination?

doffcocker wrote:

Norpig wrote:You have to examine the results as well, its the law.

Is this just a visual examination?

 yes, why what did you have in mind Doffy?

Organoleptic testing....?

Norpig wrote:

doffcocker wrote:

Norpig wrote:You have to examine the results as well, its the law.

Is this just a visual examination?

 yes, why what did you have in mind Doffy?

Well Gillian Mckeith never used to just look. She looked, she sniffed, she counted the sweetcorn.

Presumably you're not so thorough.

Breadman wrote:What do you posh people who use wet wipes do with them when you're finished?

You can't flush them, so do you put them in a bin in your bathroom?

That's just dirty.......

They are made to be flushable.