What's the one thing money can't buy? Ok, maybe two things as my body can't be bought for any amount of money. I am loyal to Cecil.
But money cannot buy you a place in a professional football team, you have to have a certain amount of talent even to get in Chesterfield's team. So why don't we sell a place in the Bolton team every weekend. A million quid gets you a place on the team alongside Gary Madine in attack, or Henry's partner in central midfield. And if you really insist, a place in goal (but that'll be £2m).
And before all the do-gooders (wanderlust & TROY) start saying we'd get relegated if we gave a place away, I'll write one word: BUCKLEY.
We've been carrying Buckley for weeks now, would it make any difference if we stuck a 52 year old fat bloke on the left wing? It might even improve us.
I can't believe what a great idea this is, there really is no downside. Imagine £1m every week. We'd be back in profit in no time.
So listen up Kenny, stop bleating on about impossible 20,000 crowds and get an advert in 'Rich Twat Weekly' and watch the cash come rolling in.
I am a genius.