Expensive Mistakes

It was my wedding anniversary last week so I locked the kids in the cellar and took Mrs Passi to Harrogate for a couple of days to celebrate.

On the evening of our anniversary I splashed out on a more upmarket restaurant (i.e. it wasn't Wetherspoons) and everything was going fine until Mrs Passi decided she wanted a bottle of Champagne. Now I can take or leave Champagne to be honest, I only ever drink it when it's free, but seeing as it was our anniversary I agreed to buy a cheap bottle for £30.

Anyway, I was bursting for a wee so I went to the toilet and left Mrs Passi to order the Champagne. When I came back she's already a quarter of a way through a bottle of Dom Perignon. If I hadn't just been to the toilet I would have wet myself.

"No fucking way is that a £30 bottle of Champagne" I said to her. "I preferred the name of this one" she replied. So I picked up the wine list and saw that Mrs Passi was drinking a £140 bottle of Champagne.

"Enjoy your starter" I said, "because we're not eating anything else on this holiday".

I doubt we'll make it to our next anniversary.

That's definitely the most expensive piss I've ever taken, anyone else got a story about an expensive mistake?

Back in February two of us stayed in the hotel that's part of Norwich City's ground. Nice hotel, no problem, but after the game as the snow was falling thick & fast and the temperature outside was about minus 50 degrees, rather than risk extreme frostbite and possible amputation of extremities, we decided to eat in the hotel restaurant.

Not recommended. Two meals of what can only be described as Oliver Twist sized portions, two tiny desserts and a beer each - fifty notes, I kid you not.

Never a day goes by that I don't wish I'd taken the cheaper option of hiring a stretch limo to drive us across the road to Morrison's cafe.

Numpty 28723 wrote:

Never a day goes by that I don't wish I'd taken the cheaper option of hiring a stretch limo to drive us across the road to Morrison's cafe.

Passi's 140 quid puts this in the shade, but when I was a student, one of my closest friends had his birthday at the end of October. For about 5 years in a row we celebrated his birthday in Blackpool on the piss.

We were staying in a B&B on the front on one of these trips. My mate, the birthday boy, was on his own about 3am, trying to find the B&B, hammered.

He flagged a taxi down and crawled into the back seat.
- "Can you take me to the Ash Lea Hotel please?"
- "Sure"
The taxi moves about 20 yards forward.
- "That'll be two pounds eighty please....I've got to charge ya."

largehat wrote:Passi's 140 quid puts this in the shade, but when I was a student, one of my closest friends had his birthday at the end of October. For about 5 years in a row we celebrated his birthday in Blackpool on the piss.

We were staying in a B&B on the front on one of these trips. My mate, the birthday boy, was on his own about 3am, trying to find the B&B, hammered.

He flagged a taxi down and crawled into the back seat.
- "Can you take me to the Ash Lea Hotel please?"
- "Sure"
The taxi moves about 20 yards forward.
- "That'll be two pounds eighty please....I've got to charge ya."

Ha ha, I love these stories.

The exact same night, we went into a lap dance bar. It was the first time in a titty bar for most of us, and we were in there for about 2 hours, chucking money away on lapdances. The lapdancer of your choice would take you into a private booth behind some curtains, get her tits out, and gyrate inches above your crotch for a few minutes and charge a tenner for this privilege.

We thought it was great.

Anyway, as is typical when you are young and naive and think you're a bit of a player, I was a little bit smitten with one of the lap dancers, and got a dance from her about three or four times.

As she led me through the curtain for the last time, I said to her, "a lap dance is a tenner, isn't it?". She replied "yes love". I stuck a twenty pound note in her hand and said "what do I get for twenty quid then?" and she put the twenty quid into her little purse and said, "two lap dances".

That's pretty good, lh.

Passi wrote:It was my wedding anniversary last week so I locked the kids in the cellar and took Mrs Passi to Harrogate for a couple of days to celebrate.

On the evening of our anniversary I splashed out on a more upmarket restaurant (i.e. it wasn't Wetherspoons) and everything was going fine until Mrs Passi decided she wanted a bottle of Champagne. Now I can take or leave Champagne to be honest, I only ever drink it when it's free, but seeing as it was our anniversary I agreed to buy a cheap bottle for £30.

Anyway, I was bursting for a wee so I went to the toilet and left Mrs Passi to order the Champagne. When I came back she's already a quarter of a way through a bottle of Dom Perignon. If I hadn't just been to the toilet I would have wet myself.

"No fucking way is that a £30 bottle of Champagne" I said to her. "I preferred the name of this one" she replied. So I picked up the wine list and saw that Mrs Passi was drinking a £140 bottle of Champagne.

"Enjoy your starter" I said, "because we're not eating anything else on this holiday".

I doubt we'll make it to our next anniversary.

That's definitely the most expensive piss I've ever taken, anyone else got a story about an expensive mistake?

No shag, then?

Lyric Todkill wrote:
No shag, then?

I wasn't due one, it's not my birthday until January.

I had taken two grand out of the bank it was in an envelope, me and the wife were going out and i didn,t want to go upstairs to put it in the safe as we were very late for a party,rather than keep it on me i stuffed it inside a rolled up rug that we were going to put in the loft. I forgot about it for a few days then when i remembered it i went into the garage to get it and the rug had gone. She took it to the tip with a load of other kids junk in the jeep, i never told her, it wasn,t worth it.

My expensive mistake was this. Also involving a woman.

My brother was going on holiday to for a couple of weeks with the lads. He invited me. "Of course I don't mind if you want to go" says the woman to me.
I wasn't really sure if I would be able to get time off work or not but just the day after my bro had gone away I managed to get a week off. "Right, I'm off" says me. Girlfriend goes out, a little bit upset but understandable since she will probably miss me.

Long story short. I book a return flight for about £200 and then realise I have no passport (out of date) - quick drive to Liverpool for a same day service which cost well over £100 iirc. Arrive back home, start packing.
Can't believe I have a cool GF who is cool enough to not mind me going away.

Phone rings. Mother in law blasts me because her daughter is round at her house in tears because we have finished and I am going on holiday. Big row and crying. Missed flight. No holiday. Lost several hundred pounds.

Moral of story.

Don't answer phone.