Dear Uncle Phil: Crawley Town

Here is a selection of the Tweets sent to BWFC Chairman Phil Gartside after last night's cup defeat to League One Crawley Town. I like to think of them as an extended letter to our Dear Uncle Phil.


Is TSO58 a Natasha Fan Club Member?

coyle out di canio in. owen coyle is a tacticlly inept clueless cunt #coyleout

MrMattJIrvine surveys the structural damage to BWFC:

it's unbelievable! He doesn't have a clue about anything. @pagartside and coyle have destroyed our club #coyleout #clueless #twat

grantmitchell74 is one of Uncle Phil's numpties:

Have a word with that numpty of a manager 4.5.1 winning so the idiot changes to 4.4.2 then concede #wtf goes thru his ed

j1mwah84 suspects someone is sleeping on the job:

Wakey wakey time Phil #coyleout

I reckon gazbwfc82 will be camping out to see Nat Lofthouse's statue:

Don't forget to lay a wreath on the way out of our club @pagartside - now we are a laughing stock!!!!!!

boltonjeff would throw good money after bad:

get the cheque book out we need midfielders a decent striker and players that can defend SORT IT OUT!!!!!!

It's all too much for NiallBurke26 to take and he gets a little personal:

SACK THAT STUPID JOCK TWAT YOU FAT OLD MELTED WELLY FACED CUNT

stanfordwhites has been duped by the glossy A4 season ticket brochure:

2 season tickets how daft am I?

lee2k60 is unhappy about nepotism at Euxton and favours performance related pay:

it's all jobs for the boys. I also sent a genuine message to you about the players refunding us supporters who have endured dreadful performances. No reply?

Phil's eyesight is of concern to 007Beardsworth:

how long do we have to put up with this idiot. Sack him now b4 It's to late. Can you not see ?

shadowfax64 has named himself after Gandalf's horse but he's not the embarassment:

yourself ...the board ..and coyle are an embarassment to the club...supporters and the town itself.

Vague advice from scotty_smit

Do the right fucking thing,

Ash_Dicko has deep feelings for Owen, Phil:

Please get coyle out! I love him as a person but he's a rubbish manager! #coyleout #BWFC

leafy6 just wants someone to listen, just for once. Won't someone please just listen to me Uncle Phil?

I know u will ignore the fans you usually do

AdamStreet12 suspects our prospective new signing has hitherto unknown talent:

£3million for spearing? Must give a great blowjob

I suspect Alexi2088's chosen hashtag is unlikely to Trend:

What a fucking disgrace.this bafoon is destroying our club!he thinks a team consists of a front 4 and that's it #whataplonka

If tommyc58 is a camel's back, last night's tactics are the last straw:

I've snapped now, tactically retarded

kris_harwood must think Uncle Phil chooses the formation and Owen is his messenger boy:

fuck your 442

gib8sy thinks an English manager might fare better at the helm:

Fuck off and take that Scottish prick with you

robleighton1 disagrees, it's not Coyle who needs to go:

In my opinion its @pagartside who needs to get his head out his arse and resign the waffle headed cunt.

A polite request from gaz_lister:

please could you ask Owen why bringing on a striker when 1-0 up with 10mins to go is a good football tactic?

I hope for tgee92's sake that the football league pyramid system can accommodate BWFC's freefall:

we used to be a team united struggled against drawing with b.munich now we are dyer and will be in league 7

I also hope glenbwfc was hammered when he sent this to Uncle Phil:

he needs to fuck off to clueless cunt shudda gone instead of big same gartside ur a cunt

A heartfelt plea from an old friend Big_Sharps:

I am begging you please do not sanction the transfer of Jay Spearing to #bwfc

gra_gem001 wants to bring Uncle Phil back to earth with a rude bump:

When are you going to pull your head out the fucking clouds and sack Coyle.

@asimms36 alo wants Phil to notice him, but pretends otherwise:

Was going to tweet @pagartside about the sorry state of our club until I realised the pillock doesn't give a toss

Uncle Phil has betrayed four generations of tim_rigby's family:

please explain why you have not sacked Owen Coyle? I have had a season ticket since I was 4 and I am genuinely disgusted tonight

I think I deserve a response Phil, my great grandpa, grandpa, father and I have always had season tickets, I deserve an answer

twiggybw1 thinks Uncle Phil should bow his head right now:

piss off Gartside n take the useless piece of shit you call a manager with you. hang your head in shame.

_MatthewJames_ sparks rumours that John McEnroe is a Wanderer:

You cant be serious, you twat

asimms36 asks an obvious, but one would hope, stupid, question:

to what level has Owen Coyle taken his coaching badges

And finally, kris_harwood has put his finger on the crux of our problems:

We lose Fred Barber, but have a 20 stone kit man

Every credit Largehat, made me laugh out loud. Its clear we have as many numpties as Derby. My personal favourite:

SACK THAT STUPID JOCK TWAT YOU FAT OLD MELTED WELLY FACED CUNT

Can you tweet him and ask him to start posting here!

Top post LH.

I have no problem with people contacting the Chairman, but do they honestly expect a response when they're calling him a c*nt? It would have far more impact if he received 200 well argued tweets from educated people.

And finally, kris_harwood has put his finger on the crux of our problems:



"We lose Fred Barber, but have a 20 stone kit man"


We still didnt beat Nott'm Forest's 30 stone kit man! Jesus he took up half of their dug out!

Brilliant Largehat. We have some right knobs following us!

I think Derby fans just pip us though after reading Natasha's behind enemy lines last week.

That has cheered me up a little bit - misery loves company. Owen "whataplonka" Coyle out!

You do have to wonder what goes through these peoples heads.

Great post, I hope he at least reads them...

Everyone of those tweets will be from the minority of Neanderthals that reside under the big screen at the bok! Embarrassment to BWFC.

Very funny, but there is a right way and a wrong way to say 'Coyle Out'. As Passi rightly says, PG will ignore rants from ignorami. It needs intelligence!!

They weren't all abusive, but pretty much every Tweet sent to Gartside was angry. Genuinely. There wasn't a single one saying "ignore the haters". Someone Tweeted that to him as I was compiling the list, funnily enough, but there were about 100 Tweets all saying "sack Coyle" etc.

CEF wrote:Very funny, but there is a right way and a wrong way to say 'Coyle Out'. As Passi rightly says, PG will ignore rants from ignorami. It needs intelligence!!

Unfortunately he wouldn't know intelligence if it bit him on the arse!
I'll never forget the Middlesboro debacle as long as the Fat Controller is drawing breath I'm afraid. Him and Coyle are out of the same egg box.

Some funny tweets there LH! Would be good if the stadium announces could read some of these at half time instead of dragging lofty on the pitch every home game to do the draw.

some of them tweets even make me look bad!

if i could be arsed, id tweet him now and ask why we are pussying around with another potential signing that will ultimately lead to the whole tried and failed routine again.

Liverpool want 3 million, coyle wants the player - get the fucking deal done then MAYBE coyle can get us out of this fucking mess we are in now.

GARTSIDE OUT.

We need to get a campaign going to sack Gartside. I don't have a problem with Owen Coyle personally - he's a nice guy, he's trying his best, but sadly he's just utter shit. But everyone can see Owen Coyle is not the right man for Bolton for about a year now except for Gartside. Its Gartside's job to make sure the club has the right man in charge and Gartside is not doing his job. We are just shocking. GARTSIDE OUT!