Stuff happens

I saw my consultant about 10 days ago following a routine surveillance full body CT Scan after surgery for Colon Cancer back in December 2019.

I knew it was bad news when his secretary rang me at short notice.  The cancer has returned and spread and is inoperable, now being at Stage 4.    Chemotherapy can't cure it, but could give me possibly 6-12 months.

On Tuesday I'm having a Hickman Line fitted , the Chemo should begin two weeks later.

It's my wife I'm really upset for, we've been together for nearly 45 years. ( she's brilliant)


Last week we went for a  chat with my Oncologist at  Blackpool Victoria hospital.  Sitting in the Macmillan unit waiting room with about 20 other people  watching Loose Women.  I didn't think things could get any worse.  Then we had to endure 40 minutes of David Dickinson's Real Deal before we were called in for the chat.  It seemed like some weird Alan Bennett play.

Sorry to hear this Cajun.  
Hope the chemo goes well and you defy all odds

Cheers

I'm gutted for you Cajun. I'm not sure what to say other than I'm thinking of you.

Thanks Nat.

So sorry to hear this, no words really cover this, just hope you get some positive benefit from the treatment. wishing you well.

Like everyone else I'm lost for words. Typical of you, after what went before, that you made me laugh with your final paragraph.
Fight the good fight. You'll be in my thoughts.

So sad to hear this. Try to make the most of every single day mate.

So sorry to learn of your bad news.

Like everyone else I don't know what to say.

I know a man who is really my mates mate and found out a couple of months ago that he had terminal lung cancer.  He doesn't live to far away so I called around just to see him (I had no idea what I could say to him but I thought at least I would be someone different to see for five minutes or so).

Turns out he was really pleased to see me (although we were never that close) as most of his mates hadn't bothered, they phoned him or sent him a text but never turned up on the doorstep like I had.

I could understand they also had no words either and probably thought it best to not to face him and feel awkward about things.

I've made a habit of calling around once a week ever since, just for ten minutes or so, and either let him tell me what he wants to or ask him in as normal a way as I can (no one wants to talk about death really do they?) about how he feels and supporting him (in words anyway) about his wish not to go into palliative care and die at home.

I guess we all face up to the inevitable in our own ways and you've got to go down the path that is right for you.

My father was in hospital waiting to be discharged to the hospice and I was visiting him when he had some sort of a seizure the nurses told me to wait outside while they dealt with him. They did what they had to do but told me that they had sedated him, that he was ok, but come back tomorrow, which I did.

When I saw him I asked him if he remembered what had happened, which he did and I asked him could he remember what he was thinking about - which may well have been his last breath for all he and I knew.

His answer touched me deeply then and still does, he said he was thinking about my mother and how she would cope.

Not a thought for himself nor any self pity either.

I rambling a bit because I don't know what else to say.

Maybe W C Fields (Bill to his friends) might give you a smile...

As the end approached, on that Christmas Day in 1946, an old writer-friend named Gene Fowler entered the hospital room and there was Fields, a self-admitted agnostic, thumbing through a Bible.

“What are you doing, Bill?” asked the incredulous Fowler.
“I’m looking for loopholes,” Fields whispered.

Stay strong Cajun the best you can.

I know you will.

So sorry to hear your awful news Cajun. Hope the treatment goes well and as BTID said I hope and pray that you can beat the odds and come through this.

Sorry to hear of your bad news Cajun. I can’t begin to imagine what you are going through right now.

So sorry to hear this. Stay strong and stay cheerful, Cajun.

That's just awful, Cajun. Thinking of you...

So sorry to hear this Cajun, thinking of you and your family.

Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts.

Now I'm stuck for words.

I know just how your father felt Sluffy, his thoughts being for your mother.

I think it is much harder for the one who is left to face the future alone.

Cajunboy wrote:
I think it is much harder for the one who is left to face the future alone.

A year or so ago I lost my brother who in many respects was my best mate as we were always very close even though we led very different lives. In the short time between his diagnosis and his passing we made the most of every moment - thinking of what he could do for the people he knew, even if it was in some cases only a small gesture like giving his harmonica to his friend's kid who had shown an interest and some tools from his workshop to the lads in his boatyard.
His wife, my sister and I and his friends made sure we knew exactly what he wanted and we followed his instructions to the letter - and there were a lot of instructions.
He was at peace when he passed and having that focus on what he wanted, the guarantees of support for his widow which flooded in and the knowledge that he had used his time to help others in some way was a great comfort, not only to him but to those he left behind.
I pray you beat the odds Cajun, but I think that setting yourself the task of focusing on what you can do for the people you know will be as good for you as it will be for them.

Thanks Lusty.

I am already totally focused on everything I can do for my wife, for her future.

Gutted to hear this Cajun, no words can change things I know but despite all the worst projections, positive thinking has been proved to work for some people and you sound like a positive kind of guy, so keep your pecker up and you never know? Best of luck anyway and hopefully your treatment does the business but in the meantime everyone on here will be thinking of you and wishing you the best.

Cheers!