Bolton Nut Ultras.

What a tinpot firm.

You've got one covered in goose fat being chased by a Chink and 9 ugly women.

You've got one nicked for rape or murder, what with him being in a paper suit.

And a leader that doesn't know his arse from his elbow.


It's not too late to join me and the SUI. You don't have to be Burnley fans to join, we can just follow England abroad and cause havoc. Next stop Brazil.

Although I must warn you that Brazilian police don't take any prisoners, so it's every man for himself.

Morning fellow BNU's.

Can't stay on long because I've just escaped from the nick they were holdong me in and I'm currently on the run.

Bit of a rough night, but I held my own in a cell with some clown from Padiham who thought he was top boy but I soon sorted him out.

BOOM - CRASH - WHOLLOP!!! You've have just met the BNU's.

I managed to fashion a crude tattoo needle from a plastic spoon I found and I've left our six-fingered friend with a new tattoo on his forehead which says "Copper Dragon is my gay lover!"

Ha Ha !!!!

Right, must dash, there's Dibble everywhere and I 'm getting some funny looks posting this sat in a bush outside a primary school in the remnants of a paper overall which is covered in goose grease.

Proud to be a member of the Bolton Ultras Massive.

Up the BUM !!!!!

Hide low , until the big meeting tonight, i'll have one of my soldiers send some chicken out to you, and some goose fat.

The Big meeting still goes ahead tonight, behind the bike sheds.

I have a plan on how to finish off that six fingered dragon, once and for all.

If we get compromised, destroy the map and tell the police nothing, they will be looking out for us tonight, we need to use stealth, maybe we all get our Ghillie suit on for tonight's mission.

Ultra's until we die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Good to know Bread got out. I knew they wouldn't be able to hold him. I had a rough journey home myself,chased by 9 stray dogs and a Chinese chef. Turns out the dogs were after me,but the Chef was after the dogs. Must make a note not to frequent his takeaway in the future. Up the BUM. Magoo's gonna love this.

Big Wolf to White Sheep, do you copy, repeat do you copy.

The Rembrandt is in place, repeat the Rembrandt is in place.

Harmenszoom Van Rijn walks the plank, repeat Harmenszoom Van Rijn walks the plank.

Right lads, stop the fucking about.

I've been doing a lot of work behind the scenes for tonight's visit of our friends from the shit dump.

I've been speaking to Harry 'the bear' Biggles-Elliot, I've confirmed he is the Blackpool firms top boy.

Post match plans are that its going to go off outside Scotts bar, I want as many of our lads there, please start leaving 5 mins before the final whistle to ensure the numbers are good.

I will meet every member myself personally before the match outside Hollywood bowl at 1830, you will be handed a pack of calling cards with 'Congratulations, you have just met the Bolton ultras' along with the obligatory British rail and stone island logo's.

Police will be out in force today lads, so for your own protection, cover your faces with your scarfs and wear a hat, no club colors are to be worn.

Tonight's the night lads! COYWM!   

Can we still wear goose fat?

Yeah I think goose fat would be ok.

Are you going naked as well, if so where about your person will you be secreting the playing cards?

Sorry for having my walkie-talkie off last night, I ended up coming across a girl behind bargain booze where she gave me a bottle of Lambrini and a fag and she ended up straddling me on top of the bins.

We then went to Dominoes for a pizza where we shared a meat feast with a cheesy sausage crust and some chicken dippers with a sweet chili dip!  

Sluffy wrote:Yeah I think goose fat would be ok.

Are you going naked as well, if so where about your person will you be secreting the playing cards?

Best you don't know. I'll be wearing a skin tight frogman's outfit tonight,I intend to be prepared for anything. KP must be disciplined for his less than disciplined behaviour.

boltonbonce wrote:

Sluffy wrote:Yeah I think goose fat would be ok.

Are you going naked as well, if so where about your person will you be secreting the playing cards?

Best you don't know. I'll be wearing a skin tight frogman's outfit tonight,I intend to be prepared for anything. KP must be disciplined for his less than disciplined behaviour.

I will happily take a spanking!

P.S I'm coming in my Batman outfit tonight!

If Magoo turns up as Robin I'm away to my bed. I'm not greasing up to be made a fool of. This is a serious business! Bread went through hell last night,show some respect.[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Is Bread still locked up?

Are we a man down?


[Author - Not Sluffy]

boltonbonce wrote:

Sluffy wrote:Yeah I think goose fat would be ok.

Are you going naked as well, if so where about your person will you be secreting the playing cards?

Best you don't know. I'll be wearing a skin tight frogman's outfit tonight,I intend to be prepared for anything. KP must be disciplined for his less than disciplined behaviour.

I'm going to wear a green Borat costume, later, will you rub a load goose fat all over my back, then if I get caught they won't be able to hold me down that way, i'll wiggle away, like an otter.

scottjames30 wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:

Sluffy wrote:Yeah I think goose fat would be ok.

Are you going naked as well, if so where about your person will you be secreting the playing cards?

Best you don't know. I'll be wearing a skin tight frogman's outfit tonight,I intend to be prepared for anything. KP must be disciplined for his less than disciplined behaviour.

I'm going to wear a green Borat costume, later, will you rub a load goose fat all over my back, then if I get caught they won't be able to hold me down that way, i'll wiggle away, like an otter.

Mankini Scott?

If so good choice, your bum cheeks will be able to breathe better when running from PC Plod and will also give you extra cooling.

You could also use it as a weapon if need be by taking it off and strangling someone!

If the police see this our cover is broken.

I'm going dressed as a conventional football hooligan. The reason I am is because if the fuzz have seen this, they will be out looking for a bunch of people in bizarre fancy dress covered in grease.

Scottie, if this was your plan - well done pal, you will go far.

We can all have a good scrap, free from the constraints of them bastards with the batons, while our 'decoys' get arrested.

Fucking "decoys"....?

I got lifted last night by the Five-Oh, spent the entire night knocking shit out of a dingle in a cramped cell, had to escape (on my own, without any help from The Firm, I might add) and have spent the whole day trying to get home, so I can re-apply my grease and get ready for another night of mayhem and carnage tonight.

And you call me a fucking "decoy"......?

Not sure this Firm's got the right mind-set for me.........

Are you going to start a rival Ultra Bolton Nuts (UBN) faction then Bread?

If so will they be fighting the donkey lashers, the Dingle Suicide Squad or even the Bolton Nut Ultras (BNU) tonight?

Breaders, your a valuable member of the firm, I was terribly busy last night and by the time I heard about this you had already got out. I swear if i would have heard about it earlier, I would have been in attendance.

I will be having a word with Scottie, as my 2IC I left him in charge and this happened. He's a good lad, just needs to keep an eye on his minions a bit better.

Sluffy wrote:Are you going to start a rival Ultra Bolton Nuts (UBN) faction then Bread?

If so will they be fighting the donkey lashers, the Dingle Suicide Squad or even the Bolton Nut Ultras (BNU) tonight?

If he does this, I would consider it mutiny.

He would have to be punished.