Bolton Nut Ultras.

Reebok_Rebel wrote:Breaders,  your a valuable member of the firm, I was terribly busy last night and by the time I heard about this you had already got out. I swear if i would have heard about it earlier, I would have been in attendance.

I will be having a word with Scottie, as my 2IC I left him in charge and this happened. He's a good lad, just needs to keep an eye on his minions a bit better.

Rebel, you were laying an egg weren't you...you big chicken...at least I had a valuable excuse of knobbing someone behind Bargain Booze...

I think I need a "sit down" like they do in The Sopranos, Sluff.

I don't want to be disrespectful to the BNU, but I resent the suggestion that all that hard work me and Bonce put in last night isn't being viewed by other aspects of the leadership as "proper hooliganism."

And they still owe me for the massive cake tins / tin baths that I had to buy.

No, I'm not suggesting a split from the BNU at this stage, but I have some serious questions which need answers...........

Where are we going as a mob?

What are our hooligan KPI's?

What's our Mission Statement?

Have we got "Investors in People" accrediatation and if not, what are we doing to try and achieve it?

That kind of stuff.

I tried to help bread but bonce was naked trying to hump my leg, i couldnt move.

Here are the answers to your questions...  

Where are we going as a mob? - Right to the top my friend. Under my fair but hard management style and Scott as my 2IC and 'enforcer' plus the utilization of all available media resources, we can be bigger than the GSE before the season is completed.

What are our hooligan KPI's? - Our KPI's will be measured retrospectively, based chiefly on the number of injuries we inflict on rival firms, This information will be combined with numbers of both firms and a percentage figure should emerge. I aim to have a Key Performance Indicator quotient of around 75% by the end of the season.

What's our Mission Statement? - BNU - "we are going to fuck you up, We fear no firm"

Have we got "Investors in People" accreditation and if not, what are we doing to try and achieve it? - Great concept, but im afraid our activities would be considered 'legally dubious' at best, Thus IIP would not consider us for accreditation. plus remuneration is not forthcoming as we are more of a 'band of brothers' than an actual company with the credentials that are a basic prerequisite for IIP accreditation.

I know where the Donkey lashers will Be tonight; we'll hide behind Scotts bar, then when i say charge we will give it to them that hard, Magoo will think that its his birthday.

I want to hear your war screams.

scottjames30 wrote:I know where the Donkey lashers will Be tonight; we'll hide behind Scotts bar, then when i say charge we will give it to them that hard, Magoo will think that its his birthday.

I want to hear your war screams.

Good Idea scott.

you do know that the 2 'top boys' have to lead the fight - you ready for this? we have to have each others backs.

Fair enough.

Count me (still) in.

For now...........

But can we please have some SMART objectives for tonight's rumble?

If I'm being assessed on it and it counts towards my end of fighting-season review score, I want my objectives laid out in black and white.

Just like any Newcastle fans we come across!!!

Up the BUM!!!

Reebok_Rebel wrote:

Have we got "Investors in People" accreditation and if not, what are we doing to try and achieve it? - Great concept, but im afraid our activities would be considered 'legally dubious' at best, Thus IIP would not consider us for accreditation.

Can't see why not. Everyone is consulted, gets to have their input and it's documented. All we need to do is send off a couple of squaddies for some tactical firearms training and they'll be queuing up to give us a certificate for around 700 quid.
From there it's ISO 9001:2008 and the world's our lobster.

What trade union do we need to be affiliated too?

And as anyone received a contract from the BNU yet?

Who is our shop steward?

Too right, im going to shock them , by running at them with a 15 inch dildo and smacking the biggest member right across the cheeks, they'll be in too much shock to do anything, thats when You come in.

scottjames30 wrote:Too right, im going to shock them , by running at them with a 15 inch dildo and smacking the biggest member right across the cheeks, they'll be in too much shock to do anything, thats when You come in.

 

Good Lad.

I've counted the numbers, and we should have a good turnout tonight.

Cuckoo boys are bringing about 300 as well, should be a good night.

 
Long live the Ultras!!

scottjames30 wrote:I tried to help bread but bonce was naked trying to hump my leg, i couldnt move.

I resent this slur. We need to take torches this time.

boltonbonce wrote:

scottjames30 wrote:I tried to help bread but bonce was naked trying to hump my leg, i couldnt move.

I resent this slur. We need to take torches this time.

Head torches will do, good thinking.

Looks like these faggots are all asleep tonight.  

We never sleep Magoo. We are like shadows in the night.

We take it in turns to stay awake, you never know when the enemy may attack.

scottjames30 wrote:We take it in turns to stay awake, you never know when the gay faggot enemy may attack your arse.

   

I'm not asleep.

I'm sat on the far side of your (frankly shit) wall, watching your every move.

We have received intelligence which suggests your loyalty to the cause is questionable, so I've been tasked with keeping an eye on you on behalf of the Bolton Ultra Massive.

Up the BUM !!!!