I'm in love with a Prostitute

I thought you had a sense of humour Mr Magoo.

I have but not when it comes to sad pricks,

There is nothing in this thread that suggests that Quent is, or has, a "sad prick". To each his own, Magoo.

Mr Magoo wrote:Well after reading all this bollock's, i have to say Quent, you are the biggest TIT i have come across in a long time.
This has to be a wind up, if not i hope you get everything you deserve.
Also when your having your nice day out, just think how many more men have been banging it in between your last visit nice.

Thanks for your kind words Mr Magoo, we're not all as lucky as you with women. But I'm going to stick with it, I know we can make a go of it - surely everyone has done a job they're not proud of. I once worked in Burger King. And I'll guarantee you this Mr Magoo, the woman I'll be bedding on Sunday is a hundred times hotter than the dried up old prune you'll be shacked up with.

Mr Magoo wrote:I have but not when it comes to sad pricks,

Shut it Magoo, the first decent love story on Bolton Nuts and you have to spoil it with your abuse. I think you're jealous.

There is a lot to be said for dried up old prunes. Dessicated fruit has a very high fibre and vitamin content. Prunes are especially good for maintaining a healthy bowel movement.

You make a good point, RT, but would you balance a prune on the end of your chopper and expect the wolf to come to the door, so to speak?

it amazes me that any of you lot can charm a woman into bed

All of my sexual conquests were achieved on my looks alone. Talk only gets you so far. It's looks that count. My missus was very pretty thirty years ago and I figured, Why have beefburger when you can have steak ?

Many years go before the advent of the Euro I stayed in Dortmund in Germany. I slept with a German girl that I met in a bar and at the time I didn't know she was a pro.

After retiring back to my hotel room and getting involved in Nigerian discussions she started to get dressed and said, " What about the marks ? " I replied, " Three out of ten." She replied " That won't cover it." I replied, " Buy a Barmcake, that should cover it."

He's here all week folks!

When I was stationed in Germany, two singlies went on the beer, followed by a visit to a knocking shop, by which time they had not enough cash to pay. The ladies accepted a cheque , (good mate to pay for your legover !). The next morning the cheque-writer went into the bank to cancel the cheque. Unfortunately, for him, the bank said it was a legitimate purchase, and let it go through. Any 'problems' with bank accounts were flagged up to the Regiment, (an unusual set-up, but this was down to our Pay Sargeant, who was later jailed for fraud), and the writer appeared in front of The Sargeant Major, to explain his reasons for the info from the bank. The only problem was that the SM was his prospective Father-in-Law, whose daughter was pregnant. Strangely, he received a week in jail, for a minor misdemeanour, was beasted mercilesly during his internment, and had the engagement broken off. ... Moral of the story ?, make sure you pay when with a a German girl !

Received the following text from Marie this morning, I'm definitely in love now:

missing u loads, cant wait 4 sunday, dont forget cash

That's two fingers to all you doubters, it's clear we have something. I'm going to with-hold sex from her on Sunday and see if she still likes me. If she does, I'm going to ask her out.

Quent wrote:
missing u loads, cant wait 4 sunday, dont forget cash

.

OK, now I know its a leg-pull, Excellently done

gloswhite wrote:

OK, now I know its a leg-pull, Excellently done

Think what you want my friend but this is no leg pull, the only reason I've been so open on here is no one knows who or where I am so it can't come back to bite me on the ass. She only mentioned the cash because the babysitters was insistant on payment upfront.

Quent, happy to be wrong on this one, and if so, go for it, and good luck.

Quent wrote:

Mr Magoo wrote:Well after reading all this bollock's, i have to say Quent, you are the biggest TIT i have come across in a long time.
This has to be a wind up, if not i hope you get everything you deserve.
Also when your having your nice day out, just think how many more men have been banging it in between your last visit nice.

Thanks for your kind words Mr Magoo, we're not all as lucky as you with women. But I'm going to stick with it, I know we can make a go of it - surely everyone has done a job they're not proud of. I once worked in Burger King. And I'll guarantee you this Mr Magoo, the woman I'll be bedding on Sunday is a hundred times hotter than the dried up old prune you'll be shacked up with.

dried up old prune my arse, she is lovely, and all mine unlike your old spunk bucket. you could always start the conversation of with, what did you do last night my love.

Quent wrote:Received the following text from Marie this morning, I'm definitely in love now:

missing u loads, cant wait 4 sunday, dont forget cash

That's two fingers to all you doubters, it's clear we have something. I'm going to with-hold sex from her on Sunday and see if she still likes me. If she does, I'm going to ask her out.

A very exciting development. And £100 for 3 hours of baby sitting is very fair, it is a Sunday after all.

Aside from today's game, finding out how your date went is going to be the most highly anticipated event on this board of the weekend. Love conquers all.

largehat wrote:

Quent wrote:Received the following text from Marie this morning, I'm definitely in love now:

missing u loads, cant wait 4 sunday, dont forget cash

That's two fingers to all you doubters, it's clear we have something. I'm going to with-hold sex from her on Sunday and see if she still likes me. If she does, I'm going to ask her out.

A very exciting development. And £100 for 3 hours of baby sitting is very fair, it is a Sunday after all.

Aside from today's game, finding out how your date went is going to be the most highly anticipated event on this board of the weekend. Love conquers all.

Or in his case a hand full of cash.

Don't forget cash! Who said that romance was dead?