The worlds of science and light entertainment are in shock today, after it was startlingly revealed that Sir. Bruce Forsyth’s chin is filled with some sort of mysterious, alien technology.
The revelation came as Brucie was filming an episode of the BBC’s alternative to ‘Britain’s Got Talent,’ which is called ‘ITV’s Got a Good Idea, so why Don’t we Just do That, Except Without Adverts, Yeah?’ Mr. Forsyth was out and about with a production crew, filming an elderly woman whose speciality was stealing Volvos in less than 20 seconds, when a wicked falcon began to circle them overhead. Bruce was immediately wary of the sinister bird, and so he had his production crew keep an eye on it. None of them could have possibly been prepared for the foul menace’s strike though, as the bird swooped down on the OAP at some 300 hundred miles per hour. Sir. Bruce darted out as quick as a flash – the bird striking his proud chin and yet then combusting, as some weird, green laser shone out from his obtrusive protuberance to split the creature in twain.
After the incident, Sir. Bruce was rushed to the hospital, where an X-ray revealed that a chin-shaped lump of mysterious metal was housed inside his chin-shaped chin. Scientists attempted to deduce what the strange chunk of intrigue is for, but prodding it with their fingers and then saying, “hmm,” produced no viable results, even after several hundred attempts – each of which was followed by Brucie responding, “nice to see you.”
The question now is why aliens have chosen the lower portion of Bruce Forsyth’s face in which to house their enigmatic machinery, and what does it do, and could whatever it is be the next iPhone? The most prevalent theory is that some sort of intergalactic television network has recognised Bruce as the light-entertainment god that he is, and have installed a holographic projection unit inside of him, so that his antics can be beamed all over the universe, 24 hours a day, or however many hours a day it is that these aliens have. The other theory is that Ant and Dec planted it there as part of their plan to conquer Earth for the pride of their home planet, Newcastlia 3. UKIP, meanwhile, have said that this is exactly the sort of illegal alien invasion that Nigel warned us about, which may be the case, but is impossible to prove, as no one bothered to read their manifesto, because seriously, life is too short for badly written and thinly-veiled racism.
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