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Bolton Nuts » BWFC » Wandering Minds » Parcel Etiquette

Parcel Etiquette

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1Parcel Etiquette Empty Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:02

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Forget 58's willy problems, this is a more important issue. Parcels.

I don't usually see the postman, but this week I've been working at home as we have the painters in at Whittam International plc. On Tuesday he knocked on my door and asked if I would take a parcel for the slut at number 3b (she's 35 and has a different bloke every weekend, and she also had her eyes on my Cecil).

I reluctantly agreed.

It's now Friday afternoon and the woman hasn't been by to collect her parcel. I know she knows I have it as the delivery guy put a note through her letterbox.

Is she expecting me to go round and deliver it? It's only a few feet from my door but surely the person who kindly took in the parcel shouldn't have to deliver it as well? Whenever someone takes in a parcel for me I always go and collect it and thank the person.

I refuse to deliver the parcel. How long should I keep it? Should I open it (I suspect it's a huge vibrator judging by the packaging, although it could be a cucumber). Either one would come in handy.

Am I in the wrong or should I stand my ground?

2Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:10

Norpig

Norpig
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
the postie probably didn't put a card in her door so you open it and enjoy. If it is a cucumber it may be a bit soggy now though so go easy with it and make sure you rinse it first. You don't want any more minge issues, i suspect its only just recovered from the singeing

3Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:12

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Norpig wrote:the postie probably didn't put a card in her door so you open it and enjoy. If it is a cucumber it may be a bit soggy now though so go easy with it and make sure you rinse it first. You don't want any more minge issues, i suspect its only just recovered from the singeing

Firstly, I saw him put the note through her letterbox. She knows.

Secondly, answer the fooking question, stop obsessing over my fanny like it's Alf.

4Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:14

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Stand your ground Nat.
We have this problem at least twice a week. If the postie says he's left a card at their address,then it's their responsibility to pick up the package.
You could send your manservant round,but I'm sure he has other duties.

5Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:15

Norpig

Norpig
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
ok, i wouldn't take it round, it's her job to collect it. Perhaps she's been too busy with Cecil?

6Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:16

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Norpig wrote:ok, i wouldn't take it round, it's her job to collect it. Perhaps she's been too busy with Cecil?
What happened to Cedric?

7Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:16

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Norpig wrote:ok, i wouldn't take it round, it's her job to collect it. Perhaps she's been too busy with Cecil?

That's like a dagger to my heart you bitch.

8Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:16

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@boltonbonce wrote:What happened to Cedric?

I met his brother Cecil. I'm not proud of myself.

9Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:17

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@boltonbonce wrote:You could send your manservant round,but I'm sure he has other duties.

I had to get rid of the help during the credit crunch.

10Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:21

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Natasha Whittam wrote:
@boltonbonce wrote:What happened to Cedric?

I met his brother Cecil. I'm not proud of myself.
What's Cecil got that Cedric hasn't? (Never thought I'd ever type such a sentence.)

11Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:25

Bwfc1958

Bwfc1958
Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!
You should really stand your ground and keep it until the lazy bitch gets off her arse and picks it up, but I can only have something like that so long before temptation gets the better of me and I get the urge to open it, so I'd have to deliver it myself. I'm like one of those children who gets told not to press the big red button but have to do it anyway. Isn't it illegal to open someone else's post?

12Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:50

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Bwfc1958 wrote:Isn't it illegal to open someone else's post?

It probably is, but like you say, there's only so long you can stare at a parcel before you want to open it.

13Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Fri Mar 17 2017, 16:50

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@boltonbonce wrote:What's Cecil got that Cedric hasn't?

He's more flexible.

14Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Sat Mar 18 2017, 00:59

Sluffy

Sluffy
Admin
I've taken in the odd parcel or two over the years.

If I hear/see the neighbour return that day, I'll go to the door and hand them the parcel but if I miss them by going out myself before they return, then I prefer to go and knock on their doors when I get back, rather than wait for them to call on me.

That way it is them that have to get out of their shower, or get up half way through their meal, or whatever it is they are doing at the time, rather than it be me when they call round!

I always think it is always a good thing generally anyway to treat people (particularly your neighbours) well, as one day you might be needing their help with something or other and they are less likely to put themselves out for you if you've been acting like a bellend.

I do find it surprising though as how people seem to keep themselves to themselves though these days and seldom find time to wave to their next door neighbour let alone spend a few moments having a chat with them.   When I was a kid I knew every person on my street but these days and even being as friendly as I am, I only know two or three neighbours well enough to say more than just hello/goodbye to.

I guess that is just the way it is these days.

15Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Sat Mar 18 2017, 14:08

gloswhite

gloswhite
Jay Jay Okocha
Jay Jay Okocha
I'm with Sluffy on this. If you weren't prepared to make sure your neighbor got the parcel, why take it in ? Its from little things like this that you will talk to your neighbors, and actually find you get on with them, or at least, get more gossip. There aren't many opportunities to speak to people who live around you nowadays, so take each opportunity as it comes.

16Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Sat Mar 18 2017, 14:13

wanderlust


Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Does the parcel make a ticking sound?

17Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Sat Mar 18 2017, 17:37

Chairmanda

Chairmanda
Andy Walker
Andy Walker
Push a note through her door saying you've left it in the bin area

18Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Sat Mar 18 2017, 17:55

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@gloswhite wrote:I'm with Sluffy on this. If you weren't prepared to make sure your neighbor got the parcel, why take it in ?

You're right, she's the victim :facepalm:

19Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Sat Mar 18 2017, 20:23

gloswhite

gloswhite
Jay Jay Okocha
Jay Jay Okocha
She's only a victim if you want her to be. 
There are no circumstances, in this issue, where you could be considered a victim.  :facepalm:

20Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Sun Mar 19 2017, 11:16

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@gloswhite wrote:She's only a victim if you want her to be. 
There are no circumstances, in this issue, where you could be considered a victim.  :facepalm:

You bellend. Do you know how annoying it is to have a sausage shaped parcel sat by the door all week. I like things in order and in their rightful place.

The parcel is still here. Tomorrow it will be opened and then binned. Unless of course it is a huge vibrator.

21Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Sun Mar 19 2017, 22:37

gloswhite

gloswhite
Jay Jay Okocha
Jay Jay Okocha
Fair enough. If its a penis shaped parcel, and its lying inactive, it obviously needs handling  Very Happy

22Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Mon Mar 20 2017, 17:57

Chairmanda

Chairmanda
Andy Walker
Andy Walker
So, what happened? This is almost as exciting as the live feed of the pregnant giraffe!

23Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Tue Mar 21 2017, 16:34

Cajunboy

Cajunboy
Andy Walker
Andy Walker
There never was a parcel.

It's all just fantasy.

24Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Tue Mar 21 2017, 16:35

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Chairmanda wrote:So, what happened? This is almost as exciting as the live feed of the pregnant giraffe!

The parcel is still here. Unopened. I think I may be crossing a line by opening it.

I'll give it a few more days then "return to sender".

25Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Tue Mar 21 2017, 16:37

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Cajunboy wrote:There never was a parcel.

It's all just fantasy.

If the best fantasy I could come up with was a fictitious parcel I'd retire from football forums.

I've had marriage proposals on here you know!

26Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Tue Mar 21 2017, 16:39

Cajunboy

Cajunboy
Andy Walker
Andy Walker
@Natasha Whittam wrote:
@Cajunboy wrote:There never was a parcel.

It's all just fantasy.

If the best fantasy I could come up with was a fictitious parcel I'd retire from football forums.

I've had marriage proposals on here you know!
Who from though?

27Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Tue Mar 21 2017, 16:40

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Cajunboy wrote:Who from though?

A real person. He dumped his girlfriend for me. But I had to turn him down, it wouldn't have worked out.

28Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Tue Mar 21 2017, 16:42

Cajunboy

Cajunboy
Andy Walker
Andy Walker
That's very sad.

I hope you have managed to put it behind you.

Do you know what happened to his girlfriend?

29Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Tue Mar 21 2017, 16:47

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Just had a card through the door from Royal Mail saying,'Unfortunately we can't deliver your parcel because there is a fee to pay'.
It seems the customs have slapped an £11.73 charge on it(£8.00 handling fee).
The package appears to be a DVD. 'Alfred Hitchcock Presents', series one,dispatched from and sold by Amazon.
Never happened before,but I'll just have to cough up. Not happy.

30Parcel Etiquette Empty Re: Parcel Etiquette on Tue Mar 21 2017, 16:47

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Cajunboy wrote:That's very sad.

I hope you have managed to put it behind you.

Do you know what happened to his girlfriend?

I don't, I had to cut all ties with him after I turned down his marriage proposal.

People I've turned down have a habit of turning into stalkers.

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