Threesome Etiquette?

The guy in my apartment block who paid for my perky breasts has invited me to take part in a threesome with him and a friend.

We haven't talked specifics but he's offering £5000 and full fanny reconstruction operation in return for my participation.

To be honest, I might have done it without the incentive of cash as I'm always ready for a sexual adventure. However, I have no idea of the etiquette when it comes to a threesome. Who puts what where? If two people are getting it on, what does the third person do? Is it rude to ignore one party if you don't like them?

I'm sure Magoo and one or two others are experts in the field of threesomes, any advice would be gratefully received.

i've lived a very sheltered life and never had the pleasure

if i was going to have one though it would have to be two women and me, not two blokes and a woman, i don't like to share

Norpig wrote:i've lived a very sheltered life and never had the pleasure

I'd taken that as given.

We need more info.

What sex is his friend?

If it's another bloke, take some anti-gag reflex pills and make sure your lube's handy.

If it's another bird, take something to read, as it'll probably all be over in fairly short order.

His friend is called Gary, I'm presuming he's a bloke.

I did overhear my neighbour (Nigel) on the phone to Gary and heard the words "spitroast" and "bareback", not sure what they were talking about though.

are they footballers by any chance? They love a good spitroast

Norpig wrote:are they footballers by any chance? They love a good spitroast

Why is food involved when people have a threesome?

I'm not really clued up on this.
We don't talk about it much down at the erectile dysfunction clinic.

Only once have I shared a woman with another bloke and that was in the early 70s (first night at Uni so I'd just met the bloke and the girl) - attitudes were perhaps a bit more liberal. Personally I found it fine and it was just a matter of being considerate as to her preferences although I was slightly concerned about the bloke's motives - turned out he was a sound guy and we became mates after that ice breaker. She (Anne I think her name was) was happy with oral so she was busy at both ends, but didn't like my mate's back door proposal (not for me - too uncomfortable for all concerned) So providing you can accommodate two by whatever means you'll be fine.
However I must point that as a bloke a threesome with 2 girls is infinitely preferable although I've never had one when the two girls are also into each other - although it remains on my bucket list.
My advice is that you should definitely go for it (assuming the blokes aren't psychos) as very few people my age have even had one threesome, let alone a few and the clock is ticking, so try it whilst you can. You might like it.

Go back and read Lusty's post again but this time, accompany it in your head with some bad 70's "wacks wacka" guitar porn music and throw in the odd baritone "Oh yeah.....baby!" to achieve the full effect.

I'm going for a shower.

If Nigel and Gary start going at each other, I recommend you take the back door.

Not the same as taking the "backdoor", in case you wondered.

Keegan wrote:If Nigel and Gary start going at each other, I recommend you take the back door.

Not the same as taking the "backdoor", in case you wondered.

Quality wordplay, well said that man.

I'd just like to thank my fans and all those who made that comment possible... we did it!

I can't believe that Nat is on here touting for business!

Nat make sure you have a shit before going to the party.