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Shit joke thread

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1Shit joke thread Empty Shit joke thread on Fri Jul 07 2017, 20:45


Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!
I know we already have a joke thread, but this one is strictly for shit jokes that you know you shouldn't laugh at but can't help yourself. I'll kick things off. 

My girlfriend said she's leaving me because of my obsession with only fools and horses. 
"I'll fetch the suitcase from the van", I replied. 

A man was run over by a Post Office lorry in the High Street today.
As he lay in the road a yellow lorry came around the corner and also drove over him.
Then another red lorry, followed by another yellow lorry.
A Woman Police Officer went to inform his wife of her husband’s tragic death.
She said, "There's really no easy way to say this.......

A woman weightlifter goes to the doc's:
"I've been taking steroids, & now I've grown a cock"
"Anabolic" says the Doctor
"No just a cock!"

A grizzly bear walks into a bar and the barman asks 'What will you have?'
'A gin' replies the bear.
The barman walks off and comes back with a gin and puts it down in front of him.
'...and tonic.' finishes the bear.
'What's with the big pause?' asks the barman.
The bear looks down and says 'I don't know, my Dad had them too.'

Jimmy Saville, Rolf Harris & Stuart Hall walk into a pub in Ireland.
Barman says “not yew tree again”

Chris Eubank has just written a book about Ethics.
If it’s a success his next one will be about Kent

News: ‘Boy George’s reptile bites 5 people in one day.’
He needs a calmer chameleon

Fell asleep at a party last night, and someone put a teabag in my mouth, i went mental!!!!
No one treats me like a mug.

2Shit joke thread Empty Re: Shit joke thread on Fri Jul 07 2017, 20:49

Reebok Trotter

Reebok Trotter
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Very Happy

3Shit joke thread Empty Re: Shit joke thread on Fri Jul 07 2017, 20:56


Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!
"Time is a construct of man, a means of adding value and structure to a chaotic universe, it serves no real purpose, it's endless and infinite, unfathomable and subjective"
"You're still fucking late" replied my boss

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