Another year, same old bullshit.
So which "deserving" people have we got on the list this time?
Top of the list is Nick Clegg. Can you fucking believe it? Sir Nick Clegg. What the fuck has this twat ever done for society? It's disgraceful that any politician gets knighted, but fucking Nick Clegg??
I actually thought the next one was a joke. Wiley. Fucking Wiley. I'm told he's some wannabe gangsta who invented "grime" (or "utter shit" as I prefer to call it). For services to music!! What the fuck? If Wiley is getting an MBE why haven't Oasis or Steps or Ed Sheeran been awarded one - all sold more records than Wiley ever will.
Rick Stein. The chubby tv presenter. Now I quite like a bit of Rick Stein but he's been awarded CBE for "services to the economy". What a fucking joke. I'm guessing he's a multi-millionaire off the back of his books and tv deals, but how that makes him a favourite of the economy I don't really know. Is he handing the profits from his books back to the economy? Is he fuck.
Ringo Starr. Now clearly a great musician with one of the worlds biggest bands of all time, but that was 50 years ago. He's been knighted for "services to music", but surely the awards should be relevant to 2017 and not 1966! For most people under 40 he's the bloke who does the voices on Thomas The Tank Engine. Ridiculous.
Fuck me, Eamonn Holmes?? For services to broadcasting? Was he doing it for free? Was he fuck. I've no doubt he gets a fee almost as fat as his face. Absolutely disgraceful, the Queen should hang her head in shame.
John Curtice. Who the fuck is that you are no doubt asking. He's the bloke the BBC always drag out on election night to predict who is going to win. His knighthood is for, and get this, "high-profile work in political analysis". How the fuck is political analysis helping society? Just fuck off.
There are plenty more laughable awards, but I'm already seething and can't take any more. And I'm pretty mad that I haven't been made a dame for services to football forums. Twats!
So which "deserving" people have we got on the list this time?
Top of the list is Nick Clegg. Can you fucking believe it? Sir Nick Clegg. What the fuck has this twat ever done for society? It's disgraceful that any politician gets knighted, but fucking Nick Clegg??
I actually thought the next one was a joke. Wiley. Fucking Wiley. I'm told he's some wannabe gangsta who invented "grime" (or "utter shit" as I prefer to call it). For services to music!! What the fuck? If Wiley is getting an MBE why haven't Oasis or Steps or Ed Sheeran been awarded one - all sold more records than Wiley ever will.
Rick Stein. The chubby tv presenter. Now I quite like a bit of Rick Stein but he's been awarded CBE for "services to the economy". What a fucking joke. I'm guessing he's a multi-millionaire off the back of his books and tv deals, but how that makes him a favourite of the economy I don't really know. Is he handing the profits from his books back to the economy? Is he fuck.
Ringo Starr. Now clearly a great musician with one of the worlds biggest bands of all time, but that was 50 years ago. He's been knighted for "services to music", but surely the awards should be relevant to 2017 and not 1966! For most people under 40 he's the bloke who does the voices on Thomas The Tank Engine. Ridiculous.
Fuck me, Eamonn Holmes?? For services to broadcasting? Was he doing it for free? Was he fuck. I've no doubt he gets a fee almost as fat as his face. Absolutely disgraceful, the Queen should hang her head in shame.
John Curtice. Who the fuck is that you are no doubt asking. He's the bloke the BBC always drag out on election night to predict who is going to win. His knighthood is for, and get this, "high-profile work in political analysis". How the fuck is political analysis helping society? Just fuck off.
There are plenty more laughable awards, but I'm already seething and can't take any more. And I'm pretty mad that I haven't been made a dame for services to football forums. Twats!