What's the strangest thing you've put in your mouth?

If, like me, you watch "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!", you will be no stranger to the sadistic pleasure of seeing celebrities going mental about having to put strange shit in their mouths, either to hold there, or to eat.

You also get these weird fuckers who eat light bulbs, nails, and all sorts of other oddness.

I'm reading a book at the moment about a guy who did a lot of travelling to the far east, and he castually mentions drinking snake's blood, eating a tiger's penis, and chewing on cockerel's testes.

One late night at Glastonbury, my mate and I stumbled upon a bizarre outdoor cabaret called 'Midnight's Carnival'. We were under the influence of both alcohol and Jamaican mountain cabbage, and it was one of the funniest hours of my life. There was this Scottish bloke stood behind us, heckling all the acts.

One guy, called 'Space Cowboy', got the crowd to go perfectly silent while he inserted a lit, red, three foot long neon tube into his mouth and down his gullet so it lit up his chest from the inside, while the Scottish fella shouted out "eat it" and "in your hole" repeatedly. (The Scottish lad also heckled the bald compere with lines such as "Are ye the Crystal Maze?". When this feminist poet came out and recited a terrible and bitter poem about a former male lover, which included the line "he tried to rape me of my creative talent", I nearly soiled myself.)

I digress.

What's the strangest thing that's been in your mouth? Did you swallow it?

I've eaten frogs legs and snails - both good - and real chicken's feet (Chinese delicacy) - urghh, just a mouthful of bones - wtf!

I'm sure others can tell of more outrageous things!

I had Balut in Vietnam which is "Soft Boiled Fetal Duck" in English.

The duck eggs are incubated or allowed to grow invitro for a certain length of time, so you end up eating the small body of a fetal duck - small bones, feathers, beak and all, some more developed than others. I was told to slurp it right from the shell with a pinch of salt.

It was disgusting. Worse than any penis.

I'm more worried you had a penis in your mouth tbh.

I always got the impression you were quite a liberal person, Hipster.

Hipster_Nebula wrote:I'm more worried you had a penis in your mouth tbh.

Thanks for your concern.

A blue waffle.

largehat wrote:I always got the impression you were quite a liberal person, Hipster.

In the main yes.

Bernard Dennis Park wrote:A blue waffle.

Explain.

Cover your eyes everybody then!

Natasha Whittam wrote:

Bernard Dennis Park wrote:A blue waffle.

Explain.

it's a disgusting disease of the vagina.

Hipster_Nebula wrote:
it's a disgusting disease of the vagina.

Never heard of it.

I'm boring and careful in these matters, but this guy bit a snake.

Natasha Whittam wrote:

Hipster_Nebula wrote:
it's a disgusting disease of the vagina.

Never heard of it.

Google it.

I'm at work, I don't want the history of a search for "Blue Waffle" to show up.

Well you learn something new every day. I think I'll be giving waffles of any description a miss for a while yet.

Anyway, eating a packet of crisps while on holiday in Malta one time I put one into my mouth not noticing that a beetle had landed on it.

First thing I knew, there's something flying madly round the inside of my mouth taking fcuking great bites everywhere it could.

Thankfully I opted to spit rather than swallow.

toad skin

A slut I used to know in Brierfield used to insist I put her nose in my mouth while I shagged her.

Bolton Hater wrote:A slut I used to know in Brierfield used to insist I put her nose in my mouth while I shagged her.

For those times you forgot the chloroform?