When tax is too taxing.

Reading about Egotricity's six-year issues with HMRC, reminded me of the trial and acquittal of Ken Dodd. Next week's the second anniversary of Doddy's death but his memory lives on:

''When income tax was introduced it was tuppence in the pound. I thought it still was!"

"I told the Inland Revenue I didn't owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside."

"Good evening, my name is Kenneth Arthur Dodd; singer, photographic playboy and failed accountant!"

When asked by the judge in his trial, "What does £100,000 in a suitcase feel like?", Dodd replied, "The notes are very light, M'Lord."

And specially for Boncey from George Carman QC, Doddy's barrister, , "Some accountants are comedians, but comedians are never accountants"

Accountancy always looks like this to me.

boltonbonce wrote:Accountancy always looks like this to me.

You haven't been reading those Egotricity accounts again, have you?

Ten Bobsworth wrote:Reading about Egotricity's six-year issues with HMRC, reminded me of the trial and acquittal of Ken Dodd. Next week's the second anniversary of Doddy's death but his memory lives on:

''When income tax was introduced it was tuppence in the pound. I thought it still was!"

"I told the Inland Revenue I didn't owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside."

"Good evening, my name is Kenneth Arthur Dodd; singer, photographic playboy and failed accountant!"

When asked by the judge in his trial, "What does £100,000 in a suitcase feel like?", Dodd replied, "The notes are very light, M'Lord."

And specially for Boncey from George Carman QC, Doddy's barrister, , "Some accountants are comedians, but comedians are never accountants"

Just another rich greedy **** who evaded paying his fair share of tax.

I'm illiterate when presented by an account book. Yet, rather like the man who only sings in the shower, consider myself of Metropolitan Opera standard.

boltonbonce wrote:I'm illiterate when presented by an account book. Yet, rather like the man who only sings in the shower, consider myself of Metropolitan Opera standard.

That's not much different to 'most people', Boncey.  But I can recommend a very good book.'The Great Tax Robbery' by Richard Brooks. It includes a chapter on footie tax avoiders. Doddy was just a shrimp in the great scheme of things.

Ten Bobsworth wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:I'm illiterate when presented by an account book. Yet, rather like the man who only sings in the shower, consider myself of Metropolitan Opera standard.

That's not much different to 'most people', Boncey.  But I can recommend a very good book.'The Great Tax Robbery' by Richard Brooks. It includes a chapter on footie tax avoiders. Doddy was just a shrimp in the great scheme of things.

Thanks Bob, now I'll know what to avoid in the library. 

"Big Broads Don't Cry', now that's more like it. 23 chapters, ten murders, and a big stripper called Roxie.

boltonbonce wrote:

Ten Bobsworth wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:I'm illiterate when presented by an account book. Yet, rather like the man who only sings in the shower, consider myself of Metropolitan Opera standard.

That's not much different to 'most people', Boncey.  But I can recommend a very good book.'The Great Tax Robbery' by Richard Brooks. It includes a chapter on footie tax avoiders. Doddy was just a shrimp in the great scheme of things.

Thanks Bob, now I'll know what to avoid in the library. 

"Big Broads Don't Cry', now that's more like it. 23 chapters, ten murders, and a big stripper called Roxie.

What a shame. You won't know what you've missed.

But if you insist on restricting your reading, you might like Strip Tease by Carl Hiaasen or almost anything by Carl Hiaasen.

Only in America could an innocent, if drunken, guest of honour at a strip joint bachelor party become a mortal threat against Big Money and Big Governmement

New York Times Book Review said:

YOUR SIDES HURT AFTER A WHILE, JUST FROM READING

Is that not up your street?

Is there still a library in Farnworth btw?

I am with you on this TB. It is perfectly possible to enjoy reading The Great Tax Robbery by Richard Brooks and any of the Carl Hiaasen novels.

It is just a pity that so few people in this country understand how the tax system really works. In essence the very wealthy only pay the tax they choose to pay and nothing is done to counter it.

Bob, I'm no longer in Farnworth. I'm in Birchwood near Warrington, and, although we have a library. I never use it.
Books are so cheap on Amazon, you can buy them, read them, then pass them on to the charity shop.
I'll have a look at the book you suggested. Might get it on Kindle.

boltonbonce wrote:Bob, I'm no longer in Farnworth. I'm in Birchwood near Warrington, and, although we have a library. I never use it.
Books are so cheap on Amazon, you can buy them, read them, then pass them on to the charity shop.
I'll have a look at the book you suggested. Might get it on Kindle.

If you have a look on Amazon you'll also see Richard Brooks' book entitled Bean Counters. I haven't read it but I would recommend a brief look at some of the Amazon reviews. These echo my own limited experiences of the Big Four.

BWFC at one time was audited by Arthur Andersen, which notorously went belly up from the Enron scandal, and later by Deloittes. But I'd also say that I saw no questionable accounting practices in the club's balance sheets during the Davies or Anderson era except for some relatively minor doubts over the description of certain transactions relating, one way or another, to the Holdsworth/Anderson dispute.

Last book about financial matters I read was 'The Wizard Of Lies: Bernie Madoff and the Death of Trust'.

boltonbonce wrote:Last book about financial matters I read was 'The Wizard Of Lies: Bernie Madoff and the Death of Trust'.

It was about Bernie Madoff was it, not the Chief Football Writer of the Bolton News?
They got Robert De Niro to play Bernie when they made a film of it.
If they made a film about the BN, who would they cast as Mr 'I'm no business expert'?

Ten Bobsworth wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:Last book about financial matters I read was 'The Wizard Of Lies: Bernie Madoff and the Death of Trust'.

It was about Bernie Madoff was it, not the Chief Football Writer of the Bolton News?
They got Robert De Niro to play Bernie when they made a film of it.
If they made a film about the BN, who would they cast as Mr 'I'm no business expert'?

Tough one. You always big yourself up in movies, so.......

Marc Iles.........Jason Statham

Ken Anderson.......Danny De Vito

Lee Anderson........Andy Serkis in a suit

boltonbonce wrote:

Ten Bobsworth wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:Last book about financial matters I read was 'The Wizard Of Lies: Bernie Madoff and the Death of Trust'.

It was about Bernie Madoff was it, not the Chief Football Writer of the Bolton News?
They got Robert De Niro to play Bernie when they made a film of it.
If they made a film about the BN, who would they cast as Mr 'I'm no business expert'?

Tough one. You always big yourself up in movies, so.......

Marc Iles.........Jason Statham

Ken Anderson.......Danny De Vito

Lee Anderson........Andy Serkis in a suit

I'm going:

Marc Iles ....... Alexei Sayle

Ken Anderson..... Jack Nicholson

Lee Anderson ..... Nigel Planer (The Young Ones)

Ken Dodd, famously said that he would like to be Chancellor of the Exchequer so he could be re-united with his money but seeing how no-one's made the connection between the anniversary of Doddy's death and Rishi Sunak, lets try summat else, especially for Boncey. Who is this Bolton Wanderers supporter and what's the connection with the Bolton Wanderers SupportersTrust?

That's Michael Izza......Daniel Izza.

boltonbonce wrote:That's Michael Izza......Daniel Izza.

Well done Boncey. Go to the top of the class. What's his job?

P.S. Rishi Sunak will be presenting his first Budget on the second anniversary of Doddy's death. I wonder if he'll mention it.

This is like being on Mastermind. Last I heard he was CEO of ICAEW. 

So Vinny used a loophole. Let me know when he's arrested.

I'm more interested in his slippers. He strikes me as the type of bounder who goes about in bare feet. This would be beyond the pale, and I'd have to throw him to the dogs if this turns out to be the case.

boltonbonce wrote:This is like being on Mastermind. Last I heard he was CEO of ICAEW. 

So Vinny used a loophole. Let me know when he's arrested.

I'm more interested in his slippers. He strikes me as the type of bounder who goes about in bare feet. This would be beyond the pale, and I'd have to throw him to the dogs if this turns out to be the case.

A combination of loopholes really. HMRC have been closing in on 'disguised remuneration' for a long time and some smaller businesses that used it in a comparatively small way might go to the wall as a consequence.

The Tories said they were going to do something about the abuse of another big tax relief in their manifesto and we might well see that happen next week.

I can't honestly see Mr Vince wearing slippers whether in his castle or on his high horse, so it might have to be the dogs. But can you prove it?

Look out for 'Parlour games' btw if you get hold of a copy of Richard Brooks' book
.

There's another excellent book on a similar theme called 'Treasure Islands' by Nicholas Shaxson. I had a copy of both but it looks like Shaxson's book has been 'borrowed' from Grandad's library.