HomeGreat.
I thought he might be placed so I was really surprised he won.
He won three of his six races last season.
I thought he might be placed so I was really surprised he won.
He won three of his six races last season.
Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VIII
+15
Banks of the Croal
y2johnny
Cajunboy
Sluffy
okocha
karlypants
boltonbonce
Ten Bobsworth
BoltonTillIDie
wanderlust
sunlight
Natasha Whittam
gloswhite
Norpig
finlaymcdanger
19 posters
Message [Page 17 of 50]
322 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VIII Thu Nov 26 2020, 20:49
boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Opened at 10/1 and drifted out. Clearly surprised a few other people. Won going away too. Be a lot shorter next time.Cajunboy wrote:Great.
I thought he might be placed so I was really surprised he won.
He won three of his six races last season.
323 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VIII Fri Nov 27 2020, 06:39
boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Found these Christmas tree ornaments in my desk drawer. I find them rather disturbing.
324 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VIII Sat Nov 28 2020, 17:19
karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Posts : 38250
Join date : 2012-08-04
How can someone do this?
325 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VIII Sat Nov 28 2020, 17:57
boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Disgusting. Karma awaits, with any luck.karlypants wrote:How can someone do this?
326 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VIII Mon Nov 30 2020, 18:50
Cajunboy
Frank Worthington
Gylo has been declared to run in the following race:
Tuesday 1 December
2.00 Southwell - Maiden Hurdle (Class 4) 2m
There are 14 runners and Harry Skelton rides.
Dan Skelton says Gylo is back in good form at home after missing his last intended race, having knocked himself schooling. Dan says he has schooled well since then and he is ready to make a start over hurdles. Dan says Gylo will improve fitness-wise for his hurdling debut, after over a year off the course. Dan thinks this race should bring Gylo on, both in terms of jumping experience and fitness, and he is looking forward to running him. Dan says the 122-rated Lucky One should be very hard to beat, but he hopes Gylo shows promise and can use this race as a stepping stone for the rest of the season.
Last of the four in the CAJUN. stable
Tuesday 1 December
2.00 Southwell - Maiden Hurdle (Class 4) 2m
There are 14 runners and Harry Skelton rides.
Dan Skelton says Gylo is back in good form at home after missing his last intended race, having knocked himself schooling. Dan says he has schooled well since then and he is ready to make a start over hurdles. Dan says Gylo will improve fitness-wise for his hurdling debut, after over a year off the course. Dan thinks this race should bring Gylo on, both in terms of jumping experience and fitness, and he is looking forward to running him. Dan says the 122-rated Lucky One should be very hard to beat, but he hopes Gylo shows promise and can use this race as a stepping stone for the rest of the season.
Last of the four in the CAJUN. stable
329 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VIII Fri Dec 04 2020, 14:57
okocha
El Hadji Diouf
Knowing you are sensitive to words/lyrics, I thought you might appreciate this clever poem by Gillian Clarke that links the difficult birth of a lamb on her farm in Wales with both Jesus' death/resurrection/rebirth and the struggle to accomplish approval of The Good Friday Agreement, which is threatened by Brexit. Enjoy!
[size=38]A Difficult Birth[/size]
An old ewe that somehow till this year
had given the ram the slip. We thought her barren.
Good Friday, and the Irish peace deal close,
and tonight she’s serious, restless and hoofing the straw.
We put off the quiet supper and bottle of wine
we’d planned, to celebrate if the news is good.
Her waters broke an hour ago and she’s sipped
her own lost salty ocean from the ground.
While they slog it out in Belfast, eight decades
since Easter 1916, exhausted, tamed by pain,
she licks my fingers with a burning tongue,
lies down again. Two hooves and a muzzle.
But the lamb won’t come. You phone for help
and step into the lane to watch for car lights.
This is when the whitecoats come to the women,
well meaning, knowing best, with their needles and forceps.
So I ease my fingers in, take the slippery head
in my right hand, two hooves in my left.
We strain together, harder than we dared.
I feel a creak in the limbs and pull till he comes
in a syrupy flood. She drinks him, famished, and you find us
peaceful, at a cradling that might have been a death.
Then the second lamb slips through her opened door,
the stone rolled away.
[size=38]A Difficult Birth[/size]
An old ewe that somehow till this year
had given the ram the slip. We thought her barren.
Good Friday, and the Irish peace deal close,
and tonight she’s serious, restless and hoofing the straw.
We put off the quiet supper and bottle of wine
we’d planned, to celebrate if the news is good.
Her waters broke an hour ago and she’s sipped
her own lost salty ocean from the ground.
While they slog it out in Belfast, eight decades
since Easter 1916, exhausted, tamed by pain,
she licks my fingers with a burning tongue,
lies down again. Two hooves and a muzzle.
But the lamb won’t come. You phone for help
and step into the lane to watch for car lights.
This is when the whitecoats come to the women,
well meaning, knowing best, with their needles and forceps.
So I ease my fingers in, take the slippery head
in my right hand, two hooves in my left.
We strain together, harder than we dared.
I feel a creak in the limbs and pull till he comes
in a syrupy flood. She drinks him, famished, and you find us
peaceful, at a cradling that might have been a death.
Then the second lamb slips through her opened door,
the stone rolled away.
330 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VIII Fri Dec 04 2020, 15:16
boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Very nice. We need more poetry on here. I'll add one by Stevie Smith. It reminds me of someone.
The Face.
There is a face I know too well,
A face I dread to see,
So vain it is, so eloquent
Of all futility.
It is a human face that hides
A monkey soul within,
That bangs about, that beats a gong,
That makes a horrid din.
Sometimes the monkey soul will sprawl
Athwart the human eyes,
And peering forth, will flesh its pads,
And utter social lies.
So wretched is this face, so vain,
So empty and forlorn,
You well may say that better far
This face had not been born.
The Face.
There is a face I know too well,
A face I dread to see,
So vain it is, so eloquent
Of all futility.
It is a human face that hides
A monkey soul within,
That bangs about, that beats a gong,
That makes a horrid din.
Sometimes the monkey soul will sprawl
Athwart the human eyes,
And peering forth, will flesh its pads,
And utter social lies.
So wretched is this face, so vain,
So empty and forlorn,
You well may say that better far
This face had not been born.
331 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VIII Fri Dec 04 2020, 15:23
Norpig
Nat Lofthouse
Posts : 17855
Join date : 2012-11-30
Age : 53
Location : Burnage, Manchester
My favourite poem by the legendary John Cooper Clarke
Like a nightclub in the morning, you're the bitter end
Like a recently disinfected shithouse, you're clean round the bend
You give me the horrors
Too bad to be true
All of my tomorrows
Are lousy 'cause of you
You put the Shat in Shatter
Put the Pain in Spain
Your germs are splattered about
Your face is just a stain
You're certainly no raver, commonly known as a drag
Do us all a favor, here, wear this polythene bag
You're like a dose of scabies
I've got you under my skin
You make life a fairytale
Grimm!
People mention murder, the moment you arrive
I'd consider killing you if I thought you were alive
You've got this slippery quality
It makes me think of phlegm
And a dual personality
I hate both of them
You're bad breath, vamps disease, destruction, and decay
Please, please, please, please, take yourself away
Like a death a birthday party
You ruin all the fun
Like a sucked and spat-our Smartie
You're no use to anyone
Like the shadow of the guillotine
On a dead consumptive's face
Speaking as an outsider
What do you think of the human race?
You went to a progressive psychiatrist
He recommended suicide
Before scratching your bad name off his list
And pointing the way outside
You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart
You're heading for a breakdown
Better pull yourself apart
Your dirty name gets passed about when something goes amiss
Your attitudes are platitudes
Just make me wanna piss
What kind of creature bore you
Was it some kind of bat?
They can't find a good word for you
But I can
Twat!
Like a nightclub in the morning, you're the bitter end
Like a recently disinfected shithouse, you're clean round the bend
You give me the horrors
Too bad to be true
All of my tomorrows
Are lousy 'cause of you
You put the Shat in Shatter
Put the Pain in Spain
Your germs are splattered about
Your face is just a stain
You're certainly no raver, commonly known as a drag
Do us all a favor, here, wear this polythene bag
You're like a dose of scabies
I've got you under my skin
You make life a fairytale
Grimm!
People mention murder, the moment you arrive
I'd consider killing you if I thought you were alive
You've got this slippery quality
It makes me think of phlegm
And a dual personality
I hate both of them
You're bad breath, vamps disease, destruction, and decay
Please, please, please, please, take yourself away
Like a death a birthday party
You ruin all the fun
Like a sucked and spat-our Smartie
You're no use to anyone
Like the shadow of the guillotine
On a dead consumptive's face
Speaking as an outsider
What do you think of the human race?
You went to a progressive psychiatrist
He recommended suicide
Before scratching your bad name off his list
And pointing the way outside
You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart
You're heading for a breakdown
Better pull yourself apart
Your dirty name gets passed about when something goes amiss
Your attitudes are platitudes
Just make me wanna piss
What kind of creature bore you
Was it some kind of bat?
They can't find a good word for you
But I can
Twat!
332 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VIII Fri Dec 04 2020, 15:29
okocha
El Hadji Diouf
Norpig, that's really good! Watched him on WILTY the other day......good on that too, though somewhat in the shade of Lee Mack and David Mitchell 
Watched him on WILTY the other day......good on that too, though somewhat in the shade of Lee Mack and David Mitchell 333 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VIII Fri Dec 04 2020, 15:32
okocha
El Hadji Diouf
Excellent, Bonce. Not hard to guess who you have in mindboltonbonce wrote:Very nice. We need more poetry on here. I'll add one by Stevie Smith. It reminds me of someone.
The Face.
There is a face I know too well,
A face I dread to see,
So vain it is, so eloquent
Of all futility.
It is a human face that hides
A monkey soul within,
That bangs about, that beats a gong,
That makes a horrid din.
Sometimes the monkey soul will sprawl
Athwart the human eyes,
And peering forth, will flesh its pads,
And utter social lies.
So wretched is this face, so vain,
So empty and forlorn,
You well may say that better far
This face had not been born.
334 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VIII Fri Dec 04 2020, 15:38
boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Indeed. Norpig's JCC poem is also a favourite. Best when read by the man himself.okocha wrote:
Excellent, Bonce. Not hard to guess who you have in mind
335 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VIII Fri Dec 04 2020, 15:42
Sluffy
Admin
boltonbonce wrote:Indeed. Norpig's JCC poem is also a favourite. Best when read by the man himself.okocha wrote:
Excellent, Bonce. Not hard to guess who you have in mind
336 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VIII Fri Dec 04 2020, 15:58
Sluffy
Admin
Here's others from JCC -
338 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VIII Sat Dec 05 2020, 18:25
Cajunboy
Frank Worthington
6 December-SUNDAY
2.20 Southwell - Handicap (Class 4) 1m
DUTCH DECOY will be testing his legs.
2.20 Southwell - Handicap (Class 4) 1m
DUTCH DECOY will be testing his legs.
339 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VIII Sat Dec 05 2020, 19:04
boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
I'll be taking a look at that.Cajunboy wrote: 6 December-SUNDAY
2.20 Southwell - Handicap (Class 4) 1m
DUTCH DECOY will be testing his legs.
11/2 with Ladbrokes.
340 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VIII Sun Dec 06 2020, 14:40
boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Finished 4th @ 14/1. I had a little tickle @ 18/1. Creditable effort in the circumstances.boltonbonce wrote:
I'll be taking a look at that.
11/2 with Ladbrokes.
Message [Page 17 of 50]
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