Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VII

Well, the fireworks have started.

Did you set them off in your front room again?

Natasha Whittam wrote:Did you set them off in your front room again?

Certainly not. I'm not allowed matches.

boltonbonce wrote:Well, the fireworks have started.

The drug dealers must have got new stock in then!

I’ve come to the conclusion that all fish sticks are shit.

Why can’t they taste like they used to?

Just had a grocery delivery, and we've got blue eggs!  Old Cotswold Legbar hens always lay blue eggs apparently. Hope they taste as good as they look.

Well, I've been messing about on youtube again.  What the hell this is all about I'm not quite sure.
You can always count on me to search out the nutters.

A rather sad tale, that needs no words from me.

I’ve just told Alexa to stick relaxing jazz on whilst I relax in bed!

karlypants wrote:I’ve just told Alexa to stick relaxing jazz on whilst I relax in bed!

No one needs to know your wanking music.

Natasha Whittam wrote:

karlypants wrote:I’ve just told Alexa to stick relaxing jazz on whilst I relax in bed!

No one needs to know your wanking music.

Careful KP. Alexa is spying on you.

boltonbonce wrote:Careful KP. Alexa is spying on you.

Well all she will hear in the bedroom is either grunting, snoring or farting and that’s from the Mrs!

That explains why my Alexa isn't working tonight, after witnessing KP getting jiggy with himself.

Natasha Whittam wrote:That explains why my Alexa isn't working tonight, after witnessing KP getting jiggy with himself.

karlypants wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:Careful KP. Alexa is spying on you.

Well all she will hear in the bedroom is either grunting, snoring or farting and that’s from the Mrs!

Are you sure the farting noise isn't one of your records?

boltonbonce wrote:

karlypants wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:Careful KP. Alexa is spying on you.

Well all she will hear in the bedroom is either grunting, snoring or farting and that’s from the Mrs!

Are you sure the farting noise isn't one of your records?

Speechless

Sorry KP.  I'll post some more folkie stuff to help you out.

Alexa said KP is a perv.  Clearly malfunctioning

I just asked Alexa to tell me a joke...

Q. Why are football pitches wet?

A. Because of all the dribbling!