Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VII

It’s Elvis Presley’s birthday today!

boltonbonce wrote:

karlypants wrote:It’s Elvis Presley’s birthday today!

Christ! He’s put some weight on over the years!

Rudolph is speaking again. He's an alien you know.

I don’t think YouTube is really for him somehow.

karlypants wrote:I don’t think YouTube is really for him somehow.

You're making him angry KP. He's put his other glasses on.

At last, a sensible schools policy.

boltonbonce wrote:At last, a sensible schools policy.

Have you just photoshopped that image?

This is real KP. What a great idea.

I thought you had been tinkering with it.

Is it me, or is this guy not wearing trousers?

I’m surprised people watch this shit to be honest.

karlypants wrote:I’m surprised people watch this shit to be honest.

I've never watched it myself, but the picture puzzled me. Why no pants?

On this morning's GMB, Piers Morgan suggested that there should be a new 24/7 TV channel devoted entirely to his opinions on the world. 

Personally I prefer this priceless comment on the man who makes Trump sound like a worthwhile, modest, reasonable human being:-


 It’s not you, it’s me … Good Morning Britain’s Piers Morgan and Susanna Reid. Photograph: ITV/PA
[size=89]Iam not, I will admit, a breakfast TV sort of person. The primary colours and endless jollity traditionally favoured by television in the early hours have always been, to my mind, an affront to all that is decent and proper. I’ll keep the TV off, the curtains drawn and have Radio 4 on at a low murmur, if it’s all the same to you. But, because it’s good to mix things up (and because I was told to), over the last few weeks I have braved the carnival of controversy that is Good Morning Britain (Weekdays, 6am, ITV). I have done this every morning through a mist of tears, while biting down on a stick to muffle the screaming.
In this case, it’s not the dazzling sets, the zany “light” segments and the relentlessly upbeat weather reports that have pushed me over the edge; in fact, all these things have brought merciful relief. The source of my agony is Piers Morgan, a man so ghastly that even America packaged him up and sent him back with a note saying: “Keep him. He’s yours.”

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It seems the more he is bounced from one show to another, the more bullying and cartoonishly grotesque he becomes. Now he has taken to yelling at guests as they try in vain to finish a sentence. On his quieter days, they will get roughly eight seconds to make their point before he starts hurling insults and barking like an elephant seal. Witness him huffing and frothing at the trans model and campaigner Munroe Bergdorf recently, and reducing what should have been a thoughtful and nuanced debate about white privilege and racism to: “How dare you insult ME? ME ME ME ME ME ME MEEEEEE!” A few days later, GMB’s bookers saw fit to invite suited corpse Jacob Rees-Mogg to air his grimly reactionary views on abortion and gay marriage, perhaps because he’s the only man in Britain able to make Morgan look vaguely reasonable.



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‘This isn’t about you, Piers’ ... Munroe Bergdorf faces off against Piers Morgan on Good Morning Britain.
Morgan’s early-morning scenery chewing is, of course, great news for GMB’s bosses, who have seen a spike in ratings and round-the-clock bonfires on social media, many of them stoked by Morgan himself who, in the reversal of the vampire trope, starts to smoke and shrivel whenever the light moves off him. It’s not such good news for A&E departments that, one assumes, have experienced a surge in Morgan-induced aneurysms. It’s a wonder that his co-presenter Susanna Reid wasn’t carted off long ago, driven to distraction by his incessant foghorn condescension. Still, Reid’s expression is currently less “surrendered wife” than “woman biding her time”. We shouldn’t be surprised if one day, in the not-too-distant future, the cameras zoom in to find her sitting beatifically next to Morgan’s head skewered on a pole.
Ultimately, with Morgan’s pointlessly combative questioning and world-gone-mad rants, Good Morning Britain doesn’t feel much like breakfast TV at all. There’s precious little jollity among the presenters and guests here, more gritted teeth and a “let’s see if we can make it to 8.30am without anyone crying” resolve. There was a time when breakfast telly, with its bland yet jolly presenters, terrible sweaters and sunshiney motifs, was about easing viewers into the day. In Morgan’s sweaty hands, it’s about getting them up, slapping them about a bit and sending them off to work with a black eye. Thanks, but no thanks. I’m going back to bed.[/size]

He's a horrible bloke. Always enjoyable to see him getting taken down a peg by Ian Hislop on Have I Got News For You.

Rudolph the German is back, and with grooming tips. The end result is sensational.

Another power cut here. Good job I had a torch handy. I've been strolling about the house like burglar Bill.
It was freezing too. Need a brew now.

Was so sad yesterday to learn of the death of Dianne Oxberry. Whatever the weather, she was always a welcome guest in our living rooms.
Thoughts, I'm sure, are with her family and friends.

It was a shock that Boncey, i'm sure she was only on telly last week. She always seemed like a nice lady and all the tributes i've seen back that up. Such a shame at only 51.

Yes and it’s quite sad. She seemed like a genuinely nice person and used to watch her weather forecast every day when I was younger.

Quite a shock as I’m sure I only saw her on the telly not so long back too.

It sounds as though she hasn’t suffered long with the cancer from being diagnosed which is a bit of a blessing.