Should Fatties Be Left To Fend For Themselves?

How did he get so fat? He clearly can't move, so presumably some idiot kept feeding him. Perhaps they should be punished?

xmiles wrote:How did he get so fat? He clearly can't move, so presumably some idiot kept feeding him. Perhaps they should be punished?

His family. You can't trust family.

Natasha Whittam wrote:

I think I once had a threesome with Paul and his sister. I still have no feeling in my left arm.

He should be airlifted to some remote location in Africa or Brazil and left there with a small plot of land and carrot and lettuce seeds.

Natasha Whittam wrote:This is 49 year old Paul Mason:

I still maintain that what he did to Han Solo was mean and uncalled for.

Mr Mason is to be pitied but spare a thought for Mr Stephen Sheen, a self employed businessman who is now in intensive care as a result of coming into contact with the Mason household.

Mr Sheen was a biochemist who invented his own brand of all-in-one washing powder/detergent, conditioner, which he named Sheen.

To get his business up and running he would go door to door trying to sell Sheen to housewives. Being a good salesman he had a catchy slogan and to promote his product he would offer to eat whatever product was being washed if it didn't come out spotlessly clean.

He became quite successful at it and even hired a camera crew to film him. Things were going great until he made the fatal mistake of calling on the Mason household.

On being greeted by Mrs Mason he introduced himself and gave her his usual patter.

" Good morning Madam, could I interest you in a brand new product on the market? It's called Sheen and is an all-in-one washing powder, detergent and fabric conditioner. This product is 100% guaranteed to clean and whiten the most filthiest of clothing and if it doesn't work I will personally eat the item of clothing concerned. All you need to do is put the item of soiled clothing into a bowl of water, add Sheen and give it a stir and Hey Presto the item will come out as good as new.

Mrs Mason said ' In that case you better come in'.

They go into the kitchen and Mrs Mason runs a bowl of water in the kitchen sink and Mr Sheen sprinkles some of the powder into the bowl.

" Now then Madam," says Mr Sheen, " What would you like to try out first ?"

She gives him a snotty handkerchief out of her pocket and he plunges it into the bowl. After a few rinses he removes the handkerchief and starts his patter.

" Out of the sheen, nice and clean "

" Up to the light, nice and bright" Holding it up to the light.

" Up to the nose, fresh as a rose." Has a sniff of the hanky.

Mrs Mason agrees that the hanky is very clean but then adds that it was virtually brand new as it had only been used once.

Unperturbed Mr Sheen responds, " It doesn't matter how many times an item has been used. Sheen will restore it as good as new. If it doesn't I will personally eat the item concerned. Now bring me the filthiest item in your house and I will prove it to you."

She disappears for a moment and then returns with a 64 inch pair of Paul's undercrackers.

Having eventually submerged the garment in the bowl and given it a thorough rinse, Mr Sheen removes it and says,

" Into the Sheen, not very clean "

" Up to the light, not very bright"

" Up to the nose..."

Into the Sheen....

At this point Mrs Mason hands him a knife and fork and states, " I hope you have a good appetite "

Three days later Mr Sheen was rushed into intensive care suffering from a rare form of Terylene poisoning. Apparently it was the reinforced gusset that got the better of him.

Quent wrote:

Natasha Whittam wrote:

I think I once had a threesome with Paul and his sister. I still have no feeling in my left arm.

I think Paul once had a threesome with himself.

Bolton Hater wrote:Who took that photo of bwfc71?

Paul, we all know it you.



It is your only way of trying to catch a Bolton "slag."

He should book himself onto a flight just for a laugh.