Remember opinions are just opinions. We are all human

Good video, saw it a couple of weeks ago. I have to say i've been struggling for the last year, just can't seem to shake off this sad feeling i have, maybe i am depressed?

Norpig wrote:Good video, saw it a couple of weeks ago. I have to say i've been struggling for the last year, just can't seem to shake off this sad feeling i have, maybe i am depressed?

If you recognise that you aren't feeling your normal self then clearly something is not what it should be and it isn't just going to go away by itself.

You need to go and speak to your GP and get to speak with someone who can help you get back to your old self.

There's no shame in asking for help when you need it and it's pure male stubbornness not to.

I don't want to pry into your business but from the occasional pm's we've exchanged in the past I suspect you know what the main issue is and it needs to be addressed one way or another.

Antidepressants generally cause depression and that's what the GP will usually prescribe.

Having a chat with your GP is always a first starting point though and you can always quiz them on the side effects of these and making the right decision if you need them or not.

It's always worth trying to get to the root of the problem to find out and understand why you feel like this in the first place.

Does depression run in your family or is it a change of job that you need for example?

I've said in the past that trying to get outside when you can for a walk which always seems to help me or doing something with your kids more like taking them to the park or going on a nature trail to the local woods etc.

Going off Sluffy's last paragraph and also after chatting in the past, if you still have problems with your job then speaking with them to see if you can change departments/job role may actually help.

I have learned something since my stroke and it is that money isn't everything. Stress can be and does have a big impact on life. Having more time for your family and feeling much happier in general is much more important.

Your kids will even notice the difference.

After all we only get one life as we know it!

Sound advice chaps, I have struggled since late last year when i had a meltdown and had to have 7 weeks off work with work related stress. I haven't been the same since to be honest, it knocked my confidence and i haven't got back to normal since.

Don't really want to go on anti-depressants really. Work is the main problem, i hate it to be honest but feel trapped as it's good money and i've been here for 28 years so not sure how i'd go on with getting a new job.

Something has to change as Mrs Norpig is always telling me i'm miserable and it is affecting my life again.

I've worked as a stress management consultant for some time now. Autogenic training is one method I use successfully to help clients. Many other similar strategies can be a benefit too. 
Sluffy, in his ignorance, chose to mock previously when I suggested finding such a practitioner, but I would venture down that path, Norpig. Best wishes.

Norpig wrote:Sound advice chaps, I have struggled since late last year when i had a meltdown and had to have 7 weeks off work with work related stress. I haven't been the same since to be honest, it knocked my confidence and i haven't got back to normal since.

Don't really want to go on anti-depressants really. Work is the main problem, i hate it to be honest but feel trapped as it's good money and i've been here for 28 years so not sure how i'd go on with getting a new job.

Something has to change as Mrs Norpig is always telling me i'm miserable and it is affecting my life again.

You have to take into account that if you do quit your job it may not solve your problems, because as you say you create a whole new level of stress for yourself in terms of income, finding a new job, and settling into it, etc, etc.

What needs to happen is that your employer undertakes its legal responsibility to you in that they have a duty of care to their employees and you have already suffered health issues that they seemingly have not yet sufficiently addressed in terms of your work environment.

I suggested some time back that if you are not already in a union to join one and then ask them to represent you and your case to your employer for finding some sort of way that you can continue in your post with the appropriate changes made that benefits your health and wellbeing and is acceptable to everyone.

I still suggest you pay another visit to your GP and ask to be referred to someone to speak to rather than seek medication.  Another break away from work, being sign off for the same reason as before will obviously support your case that your employer has still not complied with their duty of care to you.

Feel empowered rather than feeling helpless.

okocha wrote:I've worked as a stress management consultant for some time now. Autogenic training is one method I use successfully to help clients. Many other similar strategies can be a benefit too. 
Sluffy, in his ignorance, chose to mock previously when I suggested finding such a practitioner, but I would venture down that path, Norpig. Best wishes.

Mate, if you are really telling the truth, then I suggest it clearly doesn't work because of how YOU continually stress yourself up over everything I post on here - and this is the internet, it isn't even real life!!!

Norpig needs to address the source of his problem, not deal with the symptoms.

Up to Norpig obviously what he wants to do but what you suggest is simply masking the problem (which them won't be addressed and resolved) rather than dealing with the problem and making it go away for good.

Sorry to hear what you're still going through Norpig. I'd say I'd been there, but sadly I'm still there.

If I had any answers I'd tell you, but I have nothing. If I didn't have elderly parents I'd probably have checked out already.

I won’t pretend I know how to deal with things but there are groups out there that can help.  
There’s a national charity called Andy’s Man Club, that hold meetings every Monday.  They have clubs all over the country and even has one hosted at Bolton’s stadium. All free to attend.

Read face stories at the bottom. The club has massively helped a lot of men.

https://andysmanclub.co.uk/

ANDYSMANCLUB has over 120 free support groups nationwide, running every Monday from 7PM except bank holidays. In these groups, men can open up about the storms affecting their lives in a safe, judgement-free and non-clinical environment. Our clubs are designed to be free of pressure, there is no obligation for men to speak, they can simply listen if they wish.
With over 2800 men using our sessions every week, and an army of 900+ volunteers on board, the movement is continuing to grow week-by-week. We firmly believe in the power of talking and that #ItsOkayToTalk.

Established in 2016 by Elaine, Andy’s Mum, and Luke, Andy’s Brother-in-Law, the aim of the club is to provide men with a safe space where they feel comfortable to talk and open up about their experiences in a room free of judgment.

I remember seeing a guy wearing a hoodie with it on when I was down in Dawlish and wondered what it was about. I had a look online and it’s a great charity for men with mental health and there’s even a free brew and biscuits.

Well worth a visit if you wish to talk to people you don’t actually know.

Natasha Whittam wrote:Sorry to hear what you're still going through Norpig. I'd say I'd been there, but sadly I'm still there.

If I had any answers I'd tell you, but I have nothing. If I didn't have elderly parents I'd probably have checked out already.

Really sorry to hear that.

We all have to go through shit times in our lives and I've been down a few times but I dealt with it by saying 'fuck it, its happened, its gone, got to put it behind me and move on' which I eventually did - I guess some aren't able to do that.

I'm one of those who talks about it, and did so long before it came into fashion.

I talked to anyone, complete strangers at times, at every occasion - not to look for answers or solutions - there weren't any - but it was my way of processing it, coming to terms with what had happened, maybe grieving in a way but eventually I faced up to my demons and was able to let them go and move on and not to live with the baggage that I had been doing.

I really hope you find the light, it is there somewhere, don't give up, never give up.

Natasha Whittam wrote:Sorry to hear what you're still going through Norpig. I'd say I'd been there, but sadly I'm still there.

If I had any answers I'd tell you, but I have nothing. If I didn't have elderly parents I'd probably have checked out already.

 Sorry to hear that Nat, i'm sure things will improve for both of us soon.

Natasha Whittam wrote:Sorry to hear what you're still going through Norpig. I'd say I'd been there, but sadly I'm still there.

If I had any answers I'd tell you, but I have nothing. If I didn't have elderly parents I'd probably have checked out already.

I'm sorry to hear this.

Life seems to always throw curve balls and spanners in to the mix and life is shit sometimes.

I always try to find something good everyday which helps you to stay positive. I really do recommend going for a walk outdoors getting back to nature like I have suggested to Norpig. I find this really helps to get rid of the everyday life shite and you generally feel great afterwards.

You will get through this but if you are feeling suicidal at any time or just want to talk to someone then giving the Samaritans a ring on 116 123 from any phone which is free.