Bonce's own personal thread. Volume XI

boltonbonce wrote:
Not just Apple stickers either. Mind you, I'm not one to be talking about sticking things.

Has little Boncey fully recovered from his ordeal now?

Norpig wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:
Not just Apple stickers either. Mind you, I'm not one to be talking about sticking things.

Has little Boncey fully recovered from his ordeal now?

Norpig wrote:
Has little Boncey fully recovered from his ordeal now?

Yes, although I'm still getting flashbacks. Could have been worse though.  I decided to check online for other idiots.

Just been to McDonald’s for a cheeky burger and fries with the little one and to my shock horror a group of secondary school kids that look about 12 came in with a dozen cans of Pepsi and a bottle of alcohol and mixing it all under the table!

karlypants wrote:Just been to McDonald’s for a cheeky burger and fries with the little one and to my shock horror a group of secondary school kids that look about 12 came in with a dozen cans of Pepsi and a bottle of alcohol and mixing it all under the table!

Bloody kids. When I was about 14, a gang of us got hold of a Watneys Party 7. Unfortunately, we couldn't open it, and we were reduced to hitting it with rocks in desperation. The thing eventually exploded, covering us in beer, leaving us to explain to our parents that we really hadn't been drinking, and failing miserably.
We'd have gone home for a can opener if we hadn't ventured down to Little Hulton, to try and avoid anyone who knew us.
There was a little off licence on Cleggs lane, and they'd sell to anyone, and we reckoned we were onto a good thing.
We took our can onto the railway embankment, and starting arguing about who was supposed to be bringing the  non existent can opener.
After the explosion, we slunk home to face the consequences, despite not a drop passing our lips.

I've recently rekindled my love of tinned fruit.
Used to be a Sunday tea time favourite when I was a kid. I'd get in from playing football all day, knowing that tea would include tinned pears, probably with Carnation milk, angel layer cake, and, if we were lucky Viennese Whirls.
All washed down with some Alpine pineappleade. Lovely.

boltonbonce wrote:I've recently rekindled my love of tinned fruit.
Used to be a Sunday tea time favourite when I was a kid. I'd get in from playing football all day, knowing that tea would include tinned pears, probably with Carnation milk, angel layer cake, and, if we were lucky Viennese Whirls.
All washed down with some Alpine pineappleade. Lovely.

I used to love tinned peaches in syrup with vanilla ice cream with my grandad after our tea.

My mum always throws a can of fruit cocktail although in the fruit juice and not in syrup when making a trifle.

boltonbonce wrote:

karlypants wrote:Just been to McDonald’s for a cheeky burger and fries with the little one and to my shock horror a group of secondary school kids that look about 12 came in with a dozen cans of Pepsi and a bottle of alcohol and mixing it all under the table!

Bloody kids. When I was about 14, a gang of us got hold of a Watneys Party 7. Unfortunately, we couldn't open it, and we were reduced to hitting it with rocks in desperation. The thing eventually exploded, covering us in beer, leaving us to explain to our parents that we really hadn't been drinking, and failing miserably.
We'd have gone home for a can opener if we hadn't ventured down to Little Hulton, to try and avoid anyone who knew us.
There was a little off licence on Cleggs lane, and they'd sell to anyone, and we reckoned we were onto a good thing.
We took our can onto the railway embankment, and starting arguing about who was supposed to be bringing the  non existent can opener.
After the explosion, we slunk home to face the consequences, despite not a drop passing our lips.

They brought bloody bicycles in with them and started getting rowdy.

Getting pissed on a school night and bragging to other mates you had been put in the back of a police car several times isn't a good thing.

Staff were having issues with them from the off.

Glad we left when we did the little twats!

karlypants wrote:

I used to love tinned peaches with vanilla ice cream with my grandad after our tea.

That sounds nice. I'll add it to the menu. 
Mum used to make apple or rhubarb pie too. We were gluttons back then.

karlypants wrote:

They brought bloody bicycles in with them and started getting rowdy.

Getting pissed on a school night and bragging to other mates you had been put in the back of a police car several times isn't a good thing.

Staff were having issues with them from the off.

Glad we left when we did the little twats!

We were working on a retail park in Warrington, and got talking to one of the security guards. He said that one Saturday, he was called down to the travel agents on site to sort out some nine or ten year olds who were running in and out of the shop causing chaos.
When he confronted them, and told them to run along, he was met with, "I'll tell the cops you touched my bum you paedo".
He decided he didn't need that shit and walked away. Nine they may be, but they know what buttons to press.

Time for a bottle of Big Sam.

Or a bottle of Campo.

On the subject of underage drinking, our offie used to sell draft sherry and you had to take in an empty pop bottle to be filled "for my nan".

Didn't go well TBH.

wanderlust wrote:On the subject of underage drinking, our offie used to sell draft sherry and you had to take in an empty pop bottle to be filled "for my nan".

Didn't go well TBH.

I hate sherry. Even the smell of it.
Don't mind a nice drop of port.

boltonbonce wrote:
I hate sherry. Even the smell of it.

Me too. Probably a result of getting leathered on it as a kid.
Port is a different story. Love port, love Porto, love the Douro.
If you ever get down that way, would recommend the Douro valley tour by train which skirts the river - historic and absolutely beautiful and Portillo would cream himself.
You could start at the UNESCO listed Sao Bento station in Porto:

...but the scenery, wine stops and train nerd stuff gets better from Pinhao IMO. Tiling depicts the wine growing industry:

Check out this Lonely Planet review of "the train to nowhere"..

Looks nice Lusty. How easy is it to get a Carrs pasty?
Sadly, I'm banned from family holidays due to my inability to behave in a manner appropriate to an Englishman abroad.
Mind you, they once allowed me to join them for a fortnight in Whitby.

boltonbonce wrote:Looks nice Lusty. How easy is it to get a Carrs pasty?
Sadly, I'm banned from family holidays due to my inability to behave in a manner appropriate to an Englishman abroad.
Mind you, they once allowed me to join them for a fortnight in Whitby.

Do you feel that you would fit in better on a club 18 to 30's holiday?

karlypants wrote:

Do you feel that you would fit in better on a club 18 to 30's holiday?

Only if the 18 to 30 was the number of pints I was allowed per day.

Anyone else use their banking app to deposit a cheque?
It's driving me mad. Trying to take a picture of the cheque is a nightmare.

'Move to top of document. Move to bottom of document, move to left. Move to right. Move to top. keep within frame. Poor lighting'.
When I finally succeed it's 'Now take photo of back of the cheque.
After going through all that, when I click to deposit, I get 'We can't deposit your cheque at the present time. Try again later'.
I've been at it all afternoon. It's only for five quid!

boltonbonce wrote:Anyone else use their banking app to deposit a cheque?
It's driving me mad. Trying to take a picture of the cheque is a nightmare.

'Move to top of document. Move to bottom of document, move to left. Move to right. Move to top. keep within frame. Poor lighting'.
When I finally succeed it's 'Now take photo of back of the cheque.
After going through all that, when I click to deposit, I get 'We can't deposit your cheque at the present time. Try again later'.
I've been at it all afternoon. It's only for five quid!