I'm in love with a Prostitute

The first day of my new life. Money was in my account first thing as promised and I withdrew every penny (first time in my life I've ever held £10k in actual notes).

Pitched up at Marie's at 9am with the cash intending to go round to her pimp's place to end her contract. She's so nice though, she didn't want me to get involved in the seedy side of her life so insisted on having the cash herself. She's going to take it round later. I could tell she was really, really happy. So happy she gave me a free hand-job in her back yard. My first proper sexual experience where no money changed hands. Is this how good it feels when you don't pay for it?

Anyway, she had to take her son to nursery so I had to leave but we talked about her £16k (it's now 18K unfortunately) debt and it's clear it's hanging over her and spoiling her life. She didn't ask me to pay it off for her, which is why I love her so much. I've spoken to the building society though and I could re-mortgage my house and take out about £20k in equity. At last I feel my life is going somewhere.

I know it's not been a conventional relationship, but I think it will be from now on. Marie is such a great girl, and once I meet her son I'm sure he'll love me too. Thanks for the support from Largehat and one or two others, for the doubters this is one in the eye I guess.

Mr Magoo wrote:Its all Bollock's, good on him, he kept us entertained for a while.

Are you implying he's making it up? No way! This one will run till the money's done.

Free hand job in the back yard, that is fucking funny, haven't you just given her 10K you spaz.

Give the guy a break Magoo, this is a love story to rival Posh n Becks.

Quent wrote: for the doubters this is one in the eye I guess.

Japs Eye more like!

Mr Magoo wrote:Free hand job in the back yard, that is fucking funny, haven't you just given her 10K you spaz.

The £10k was to release her from her pimp, the hand job was completely free. Why would she do that unless she was into me?

Once a slag always a slag.

Quent wrote: So happy she gave me a free hand-job in her back yard. My first proper sexual experience where no money changed hands. Is this how good it feels when you don't pay for it?

It's official, this is the funniest rhead ever.

Mr Magoo wrote:Once a slag always a slag.

You are a mean bastard Mr Magoo, you've never met her so how can you judge? I won't go into why she became an escort but believe me when I say she had little option. She has provided for her kid using what God gave her, you have to admire her for that. She is a lovely person, very generous and giving. Not everyone has it easy Mr Magoo.

aaron_bwfc wrote:

It's official, this is the funniest thread ever.

This is not meant to be funny, this is my life. It's not something I can talk about with the few friends I have so it's helped to write about it on here. You might find it funny but I guarantee you that the hand-job she gave me this morning in her backyard overlooking Denton town centre was one of the most romantic experiences of my life.

I don't understand why a girl, presumably, looking to escape a life of street work, trying to establish a "proper" relationship, would take her man into her "back yard" to give him a reach around.

why not, dare i suggest, the bedroom?

Hipster_Nebula wrote:I don't understand why a girl, presumably, looking to escape a life of street work, trying to establish a "proper" relationship, would take her man into her "back yard" to give him a reach around.

why not, dare i suggest, the bedroom?

Try and keep up Hipster, he said the kid was at home.

Oh I'm sorry. Makes sense to wack someone off in the backyard in that case.

I'm sort of skim reading it tbh.

Hipster_Nebula wrote:Oh I'm sorry. Makes sense to wack someone off in the backyard in that case.

I'm sort of skim reading it tbh.

If someone just gave you £10,000 wouldn't you "wack them off"?

Quent wrote:

aaron_bwfc wrote:

It's official, this is the funniest thread ever.

This is not meant to be funny, this is my life. It's not something I can talk about with the few friends I have so it's helped to write about it on here. You might find it funny but I guarantee you that the hand-job she gave me this morning in her backyard overlooking Denton town centre was one of the most romantic experiences of my life.

Sorry Quent didn't mean to mock it's just the way you worded things.

Can't call your life boring that's for sure.

aaron_bwfc wrote:

Sorry Quent didn't mean to mock it's just the way you worded things.

Can't call your life boring that's for sure.

No problem, I can see how it looks to everyone else. Why is this freak telling the world about his sordid little secret! But it helps me so I don't care, and some posters have been supportive.

Whats with the James Woods picture? Fan of his "work"?

Things are looking up Quent!I can tell that it's all going to work out well for you and Marie. And her son. And her pimp. She clearly loves you for who you are and that's all that matters in this cynical world.
If it will finally help you and Marie break free you should definitely re-mortgage the house - money doesn't matter if true love is at stake.

(You are a mean bastard Mr Magoo, you've never met her so how can you judge)
Well thank you for the complement, I don't have to meet the old spunk bucket to form my opinion.

wanderlust wrote:Things are looking up Quent!I can tell that it's all going to work out well for you and Marie. And her son. And her pimp. She clearly loves you for who you are and that's all that matters in this cynical world.
If it will finally help you and Marie break free you should definitely re-mortgage the house - money doesn't matter if true love is at stake.

Thanks wanderlust, I really appreciate those encouraging words. You're right, can you really put a price on true love. If you'd told me 6 weeks ago that all it would cost to find true love was £10k I'd have said you were mad.