I've Joined A Dating Website

Natasha Whittam wrote:Be honest, you expected this topic to have been started by Hipster, Boggers or Doffcocker. But no, I, Natasha Whittam, have decided to take the plunge and join a dating website.

I'm tired of meeting footballers, Z-list celebs, millionaires and all the other wankers I've dated over the years. What I need is a real man. One who reads The Sun or The Mirror, can put up a bookshelf, and doesn't try and burn my genitalia off.

There appears to be lots of dating websites to choose from, but they all seem to want you to sell yourself in the form of an introduction. So I've had a go and I could do with your thoughts and constructive criticism:

Natasha wrote:Hot Businesswoman of the Year, 29, seeks real man for marriage, children and cuddles. I like Vimto, Twirls and Rob Earnshaw. You must be aged 28-45, own your own teeth, be able to do manly things like build and mend, although men with blow-torches will be ignored.

Do you think I'll find the future Mr Whittam?

Natasha Whittam wrote:

Soul Kitchen wrote:Nat, Ffs are you into the same substances as 1874, or are you actually 1874?
Your fantasies are well beyond attainability, you must be on some sort of shit!!

Everyone deserves love SK, even Businesswomen of the Year.

Natasha Whittam wrote:Be honest, you expected this topic to have been started by Hipster, Boggers or Doffcocker. But no, I, Natasha Whittam, have decided to take the plunge and join a dating website.

I'm tired of meeting footballers, Z-list celebs, millionaires and all the other wankers I've dated over the years. What I need is a real man. One who reads The Sun or The Mirror, can put up a bookshelf, and doesn't try and burn my genitalia off.

There appears to be lots of dating websites to choose from, but they all seem to want you to sell yourself in the form of an introduction. So I've had a go and I could do with your thoughts and constructive criticism:

Natasha wrote:Hot Businesswoman of the Year, 29, seeks real man for marriage, children and cuddles. I like Vimto, Twirls and Rob Earnshaw. You must be aged 28-45, own your own teeth, be able to do manly things like build and mend, although men with blow-torches will be ignored.

Do you think I'll find the future Mr Whittam?