The Christmas Thread

Gonna lob a Monday Morning grenade in now....

Before it goes in, I'm not saying that this applies to anyone on here and I want to make that very, very clear.


Ok, here we go.....

It's all well and good wanting to put a smile on your kids' faces and give them the absolute best that you can but the problems start when you've got a certain section of society who don't view it that way and who miss the point of what being a great parent is all about.

Mrs B Version 1.0 was a perfect example of this (and that's why she got replaced by an upgraded model with a superior operating system and sleeker hardware).

Sadly, far too many people nowadays calculate happiness in purely financial terms and miss the real point of what it's all about entirely.

V1.0 always operated with a pre-determined fixed value in her head when it came to spending on the kids' birthdays and Christmas, rather than picking presents that the kids had actually asked for.

For example, (and I'm talking over 20 years ago now) she decided one Christmas that she was going to spend £500 on each child and we spent weeks in the build up to the big day, trawling round trying to spend money we couldn't really afford on stuff that the kids probably didn't even want and certainly didn't need.

Five hundred quid on toys for a one year old takes some doing, believe me. (Or it did in 1995.)

So whilst Whittam's comments are just her making her usual attempt at causing maximum grief and eliciting knee-jerk responses, there is an element of truth in some of what she's saying.

Fast forward to 2016 and we've got nieces and nephews who understand the price of everything and the value of nothing because their parents have always adopted the same "£X per child" strategy over the years which has meant that they've grown up with a bit of a sense of entitlement and a fundamental lack of understanding when it comes to having to work hard to achieve your goals.

Our nephew could tell you the price of the latest iPhone 5 a couple of years ago when he wanted one and said phone lasted about 2 weeks before he left it on a bus and lost it.

No matter though, because his Dad did some overtime at work and bought him a new one within another couple of weeks.

Because your kid's got to have the latest gadget, hasn't he?

And it's that mindset that troubles me a bit.

When we were kids, if your mum and dad couldn't afford something, you didn't get it - simple.

But you did get other stuff that they could afford and you appreciated them for it.

And you always had 3 meals a day and your clothes were always clean and they didn't have to demonstrate their affection for you by throwing expensive gadgets at you because you knew they loved you and were doing their best.

I just fear that this is another manifestation of how as a society, we are losing sight of what's important, in favour of vacuous, immediate gratification and it's going to bite us on the arse in another 20 years.

There is truth in what you say but it comes down to the things outside christmas spending that you do with your kids, some parents spend money as a way of substituting love and quality time.

My weekends were spent finding things to do with the kids, in the summer we'd spend hours on the park playing football, tennis, crazy golf and boules and the day was gone before we realised. 

They went to football training on saturday mornings at Crewe when I lived that way we spent lots of time together not always spending money so when christmas came and they got nice presents that wasn't the main parenting and while they appreciated it they also appreciated the times on the park where I was knocking in crosses for them to practice headers or playing tennis with them.

Now years on from that as I said earlier they are young men I'm very proud of when we talk about when they were kids it's the football on the park, the rides out as a family to Telford to go on the town park and wonderland there, the matches we went to watch the Wanderers together they remember not the Xbox or tablet.

If you can afford to buy them the latest things you do it because you want to as a part of a parenting package not as a substitute for time and love which some do.

there's arguments for both sides of this, it is hard to get the right balance especially with kids now being so clued up on electronics and the like.

My son did want a new xbox 1 for xmas but he's now decided to keep his old 360 and just get some more games, which i think for a 9 year old shows some good thinking on his part and i am proud of him (just need to sort out the City support now).

We will spend probably around £200 on each of them for Xmas but me and Mrs Pig both feel we have to make the kids more aware of how lucky they really are to get more or less whatever they want

Just a thought, but has anyone considered that some parents on here maybe can't afford the sums mentioned ?

gloswhite wrote:Just a thought, but has anyone considered that some parents on here maybe can't afford the sums mentioned ?

If they can't then no one should judge them for that but by the same token they shouldn't resent others that can, but both are equally relevant to the topic.

gloswhite wrote:Just a thought, but has anyone considered that some parents on here maybe can't afford the sums mentioned ?

That was kind of what I was trying to say (badly) earlier.

My first marriage ended in tears partly because of Version 1.0's cavalier attitude to prioritising how what little cash we had got spent.

I was working 12 hour night shifts in a bakery, 6 days a week to try and give us a fighting chance at paying the bills and she kept blowing it (behind my back a lot of the time) on pointless shite we couldn't afford and didn't need.

Because in her world, spending five hundred quid you could ill afford on birthday presents made you a good parent.

When I finally said "Enough!" she just went out behind my back and started borrowing money from doorstep lenders at ridiculous rates of interest.

When we finally did split up, it left me with a ruined credit rating and a mountain of debt which I was "jointly and severally liable for" to use the legal term, despite the fact that I paid my half of everything off within 12 months.

So my point is, there is an enormous amount of pressure to keep up with the Joneses where kids are concerned and some (a lot?) of people are prepared to sacrifice long-term financial stability for immediate gratification.

And it's done for the wrong reasons.

i couldn't afford to just fork out £400-500 just for Xmas, we make a point of saving up all year round to be able to afford presents for our two, but i can appreciate how hard it is for families on low incomes.

We don't have any credit cards and never will, if we can't save up and afford it we don't buy it. We are trying and will continue as they get older,to instill the same mentality in the kids.

God knows what my Mum did when i was a kid, she was a single parent in low paid jobs or unemployed at times, trying to bring up 2 boys. It's always made me very aware of money or the lack of it

This is the Christmas thread you miserable gits

Fabians Right Peg wrote:they pretty much get what they ask for Christmas and birthdays.

You've shot yourself in the foot again. No good can come from giving your kids everything they want.

Bread2.0 wrote:Gonna lob a Monday Morning grenade in now....

Before it goes in, I'm not saying that this applies to anyone on here and I want to make that very, very clear.


Ok, here we go.....

It's all well and good wanting to put a smile on your kids' faces and give them the absolute best that you can but the problems start when you've got a certain section of society who don't view it that way and who miss the point of what being a great parent is all about.

Mrs B Version 1.0 was a perfect example of this (and that's why she got replaced by an upgraded model with a superior operating system and sleeker hardware).

Sadly, far too many people nowadays calculate happiness in purely financial terms and miss the real point of what it's all about entirely.

V1.0 always operated with a pre-determined fixed value in her head when it came to spending on the kids' birthdays and Christmas, rather than picking presents that the kids had actually asked for.

For example, (and I'm talking over 20 years ago now) she decided one Christmas that she was going to spend £500 on each child and we spent weeks in the build up to the big day, trawling round trying to spend money we couldn't really afford on stuff that the kids probably didn't even want and certainly didn't need.

Five hundred quid on toys for a one year old takes some doing, believe me. (Or it did in 1995.)

So whilst Whittam's comments are just her making her usual attempt at causing maximum grief and eliciting knee-jerk responses, there is an element of truth in some of what she's saying.

Fast forward to 2016 and we've got nieces and nephews who understand the price of everything and the value of nothing because their parents have always adopted the same "£X per child" strategy over the years which has meant that they've grown up with a bit of a sense of entitlement and a fundamental lack of understanding when it comes to having to work hard to achieve your goals.

Our nephew could tell you the price of the latest iPhone 5 a couple of years ago when he wanted one and said phone lasted about 2 weeks before he left it on a bus and lost it.

No matter though, because his Dad did some overtime at work and bought him a new one within another couple of weeks.

Because your kid's got to have the latest gadget, hasn't he?

And it's that mindset that troubles me a bit.

When we were kids, if your mum and dad couldn't afford something, you didn't get it - simple.

But you did get other stuff that they could afford and you appreciated them for it.

And you always had 3 meals a day and your clothes were always clean and they didn't have to demonstrate their affection for you by throwing expensive gadgets at you because you knew they loved you and were doing their best.

I just fear that this is another manifestation of how as a society, we are losing sight of what's important, in favour of vacuous, immediate gratification and it's going to bite us on the arse in another 20 years.

Top post, although you could have shortened it to "I agree with Natasha".

At the end of the day no one is going to come on here and admit their kids are spoilt and turning into little twats. But I bet half the parents on here are guilty.

easy to judge others when you have no experience in actually looking after kids Nat. Have some of your own then you'll be qualified to comment

Yes you are the equivalent of an armchair fan to parenting,

If, as some think, that Nat has an alter ego, how do we know this doesn't include kids ?

maybe Nat is talking from experience 

Norpig wrote:easy to judge others when you have no experience in actually looking after kids Nat. Have some of your own then you'll be qualified to comment

I look after my niece and nephew when my sister and her husband are in rehab.

The little twats turn their noses up at Asda's own brand biscuits and cornflakes, as if I was feeding them the contents of the Macron bogs. I put this down to their parents buying them consoles and bikes at Christmas.

there was me thinking we were having a sensible discussion, silly Norpig  

How long have you been posting on here....?

Norpig wrote:there was me thinking we were having a sensible discussion, silly Norpig  

I can't believe you're mocking my family dynamic.

Natasha Whittam wrote:

Fabians Right Peg wrote:they pretty much get what they ask for Christmas and birthdays.

You've shot yourself in the foot again. No good can come from giving your kids everything they want.

And once again you take a short section of a measured argument and quote out of context, ever thought of a job in tabloid journalism?

as I say "pretty much get what they ask for" not "everything they want".

Furbies where a nightmare to get in 2012

I don't disagree with anything that's been said in all honesty. The way I budget for Christmas is by paying a small amount of money to Park every week that I get back late in the year in the form of love to shop vouchers. I do it this way so I'm never in the position of being overstretched. 

Pretty much anything that they ask for during the year they don't get. The response they get is that they'll have to wait and see what Father Christmas brings them. They don't get much for their birthdays either. 

The only time of the year they get a decent amount of money spent on them is Christmas so spoilt they are most certainly not. If there's things they want and it falls within the budget then I have no problem buying it for them. They're good kids who want stuff, but don't expect it and appreciate they can't have the world. 

I'm comfortable with the amount I spend and the way I raise my kids and that's all that's important to me. If children turn out to be spoilt, horrible bastards then I am quite sure that will be down to how they've been raised and not how much money has been spent on them.

58, have you never thought of opening a new bank account just for a Christmas fund? If park went tits up like the last one a few years back then you would end up with fuck all.

You would be able to shop online more freely with the money that you had saved rather than the love2shop vouchers.

Just a thought.