So like many of you single guys I've turned to the internet for my next attempt at love, and have joined a website called "Local Slags".
The title is a good clue as to what you will find on the site, basically it's just a load of slags wanting to be shagged. And they don't charge. Or have cocks. You can have young slags, middle-aged slags, granny slags, married slags, fit slags, ugly slags, skinny slags and fat slags. You get the picture.
I wish I'd found this site 2 months ago, it would have saved me £10k and a very sore arse.
Anyway, I've spent the last week swapping messages with a variety of slags in the Manchester area. I've been realistic, some twenty year old fit slag with massive knockers and tight arse is not going to be interested in me, so I've stuck to the 35+ slags as they're bound to be more desperate and less picky.
Several of the slags want to meet me, but I've narrowed it down to three local slags as follows:
Michelle is 42 and lives in Gorton which is ideal for me. She likes long romantic walks in the park, fluffy kittens and anal sex. She's by far the hottest of the slags I've been in contact with, the only downside is she wants someone rich. Hopefully a 26 year old male with only a £10k debt for trying to buy his last girlfriend will appear rich to some slag from Gorton.
Sally is 39 and almost certainly one of the original fat slags. She likes eating, baking and using her 14 inch strap-on to hurt men. She owns her own house with reinforced floors and has no children. Fat slags are notoriously needy which is good, I want a woman to worship me - if I have to take a 14 inch truncheon up the shitter then so be it.
Elsie is 54 and extremely hot for her age. She likes playing with her 9 grandchildren, reading John Grisham novels and dogging. She claims to be rich and live in a secluded farmhouse with a bidet. Posh slag.
I have asked all of them the most important question, do you have a cock, and they all answered in the negative. Although Sally said she wishes she did.
So which slag do I choose? Any thoughts? Is anyone else registered with localslags.co.uk?