Bonce's own personal thread. Volume V
+18
BoltonTillIDie
boltonbonce
Cajunboy
Natasha Whittam
karlypants
Norpig
Sluffy
finlaymcdanger
Chairmanda
Banks of the Croal
Boggersbelief
Reebok Trotter
sunlight
Bread2.0
Bwfc1958
whatsgoingon
Numpty 28723
wanderlust
22 posters
482 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume V Sat Mar 18 2017, 10:03
karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
That's one hot dog to avoid.boltonbonce wrote:No wonder the customers have left.
483 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume V Sat Mar 18 2017, 11:59
boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
I'll be leaving for the match at around 12.45,and on the way I intend to come up with a cunning plan to avoid the bloke selling Golden Gamble tickets at the top of the steps in the WSU.
He clocks me as soon as I hit the top step. I look quickly away so as to avoid any eye contact,but he knows I've seen him. He remains calm.
I wander over to the TV screen to watch anything that might be on,glancing furtively over my shoulder every few minutes to see if he's been distracted.
I can feel his eyes burning into my back.
I make the decision to get to my seat pronto,but wait for some other daft bastard to buy a ticket so I can nip past unmolested.
They never do.
He looks across at me,then looks away. I make my way towards him,pretending I'm on the phone,but it's no good. He extends his hand expectantly,like Nat at a glory hole,and I fumble about for a quid,and walk despondently to my seat,knowing full well that the fourth prize of a Hollands Pie hamper is as much a dream as it's ever been.
I'll win one day. I know it.
He clocks me as soon as I hit the top step. I look quickly away so as to avoid any eye contact,but he knows I've seen him. He remains calm.
I wander over to the TV screen to watch anything that might be on,glancing furtively over my shoulder every few minutes to see if he's been distracted.
I can feel his eyes burning into my back.
I make the decision to get to my seat pronto,but wait for some other daft bastard to buy a ticket so I can nip past unmolested.
They never do.
He looks across at me,then looks away. I make my way towards him,pretending I'm on the phone,but it's no good. He extends his hand expectantly,like Nat at a glory hole,and I fumble about for a quid,and walk despondently to my seat,knowing full well that the fourth prize of a Hollands Pie hamper is as much a dream as it's ever been.
I'll win one day. I know it.
484 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume V Sat Mar 18 2017, 20:22
boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
He got me again. He doesn't even shout 'Golden Gamble',he just stands there......waiting.
Ticket No. 0512. Don't think it won.
Wish the mad bastard with the mike commentating on the half time 'entertainment' would shut the fcuk up. How excited do you need to get about four people poncing about in bubbles.
Ticket No. 0512. Don't think it won.
Wish the mad bastard with the mike commentating on the half time 'entertainment' would shut the fcuk up. How excited do you need to get about four people poncing about in bubbles.
486 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume V Mon Mar 20 2017, 15:07
boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Went for a pee at half time on Saturday and was,once again,deeply disappointed with my poor performance.
As a kid I regularly won the highest up the wall competition,and now I can't even reach the wall.
As a kid I regularly won the highest up the wall competition,and now I can't even reach the wall.
489 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume V Wed Mar 22 2017, 13:57
karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Dear god.boltonbonce wrote:Good to see women breaking through.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-39348633
This will end in tears!
490 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume V Wed Mar 22 2017, 15:08
Norpig
Nat Lofthouse
i think KP needs some equality and diversity training
491 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume V Fri Mar 24 2017, 15:07
boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
I'm not happy with The Urban Dictionary.
bonce
a bonce is to insult somebody about having a small sexual part.
you bonce, you have a small cock
Lotsa space for your liquids.
BUY THE MUG
bonce
a bonce is to insult somebody about having a small sexual part.
you bonce, you have a small cock
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Lotsa space for your liquids.
BUY THE MUG
492 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume V Fri Mar 24 2017, 15:10
Bread2.0
Andy Walker
"A small sexual part."
Is that like a walk on role for a dwarf in a porno?
Is that like a walk on role for a dwarf in a porno?
493 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume V Fri Mar 24 2017, 15:20
boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
breadman
An evil and irate man who bakes bread. He will not rest until all the peoples of the earth feast upon his multi-seeded bread, toasted, with raspberry jam.
An evil and irate man who bakes bread. He will not rest until all the peoples of the earth feast upon his multi-seeded bread, toasted, with raspberry jam.
494 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume V Tue Mar 28 2017, 17:26
boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
In the battle of the legs,Sturgeon wins it for me.
495 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume V Tue Mar 28 2017, 18:39
Bread2.0
Andy Walker
boltonbonce wrote:In the battle of the legs,Sturgeon wins it for me.
I can't believe that the Mail's official response to all the furore was to say that "anyone offended by it should get a life".
The Daily Mail said that.
The paper of choice for the perpetually outraged and permanently disgruntled.
You couldn't make it up...
496 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume V Tue Mar 28 2017, 18:49
boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Sarah Vine is married to Michael Gove. She deserves our sympathy.
497 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume V Wed Mar 29 2017, 12:12
boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
What's happened to the Nuts banner? I have no banner!
I demand answers.
I demand answers.
498 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume V Wed Mar 29 2017, 12:40
boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
My banner is back. And very nice it is. Well done whoever is responsible.
499 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume V Wed Mar 29 2017, 12:42
BoltonTillIDie
Nat Lofthouse
Keegan created the banner
500 Re: Bonce's own personal thread. Volume V Wed Mar 29 2017, 12:45
boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Well done. He did a very nice Brucie banner for me a few years ago.BoltonTillIDie wrote:Keegan created the banner
Although that wasn't overly popular.
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