What's the weirdest place.

That you took a crap when you got caught short. Mine was in the garden of a women I was helping out, I didn't,t know her but it was a favor for a friend ,I had to wait for some idiot to show up who was vandalising her garden. Turned out to be her ex,but while I was there I locked myself out of the house badly needed to go no 2 and I did it in her tomato grow bag and covered it up. I wonder if her gardener found it and thought it was a big cat.

Not the weirdest, but my job involved working in various outside locations, without the use of any Toilet facilities, which meant you either pissed or very rarely had to do a number two in the back of the van, then dispose of the shite.

Anyway one day was working on Watergate lane and my innards were on the point of total collapse, so nowt for it, had to use the back of the van, then had to dispose of the shite... spotted a bush up the banking so decided to hide it behind there.

By the f,ck 10 mins later a police car pulled up on the the job, said i'd been spotted dumping something behind a bush by a householder nearby, after explaining my toilet needs the police were ok... but there were no f'cking houses nearby, unless they were using binoculars .

F'ckinell all i wanted was a Tom Tit.

In a sink in a B&B in Blackpool. Something to do with the amount of Beer I had drunk I would imagine being the reason.