I'm in love with a Prostitute

Quent · **401** Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Tue May 01 2012, 16:02

Quent

Nicolas Anelka

Posts : 419
Join date : 2012-02-06

French wankers! No problems at Dover, you can't take drugs across the water but the British have no problem with hookers in the boot. Unfortunately when we hit Calais Marie started screaming again and some French ponce insisted I open the boot.

The stench was unimaginable. A mixture of piss, shit and Chicken McNuggets. I still love her though. Anyway, I explained to Mr French Ponce why Marie was in the boot and that Percy the Pimp was after me. He said he understood but couldn't allow me into France.

So here we are again, sat in McDonalds car park in Dover. Where do I go from here? Will Marie still love me when this is all over? Will Percy kill me? Will Homebase ever take the ironing-board back?

wanderlust · **402** Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Tue May 01 2012, 17:07

wanderlust

Nat Lofthouse

Posts : 23013
Join date : 2012-01-12

The path of true love is seldom easy, but stick at it - you'll find a way.

largehat · **403** Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Tue May 01 2012, 17:24

largehat

Frank Worthington

Posts : 3484
Join date : 2012-01-25

Quent, might I suggest your logical destination be Gretna?

Mr Magoo · **404** Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Tue May 01 2012, 18:51

Mr Magoo

Youri Djorkaeff

Posts : 5794
Join date : 2012-01-06
Age : 59
Location : North Devon

Quent wrote:French wankers! No problems at Dover, you can't take drugs across the water but the British have no problem with hookers in the boot. Unfortunately when we hit Calais Marie started screaming again and some French ponce insisted I open the boot.

The stench was unimaginable. A mixture of piss, shit and Chicken McNuggets. I still love her though. Anyway, I explained to Mr French Ponce why Marie was in the boot and that Percy the Pimp was after me. He said he understood but couldn't allow me into France.

So here we are again, sat in McDonalds car park in Dover. Where do I go from here? Will Marie still love me when this is all over? Will Percy kill me? Will Homebase ever take the ironing-board back?

Are you having a Mcfluri.

Lyric Todkill · **405** Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Tue May 01 2012, 19:40

Lyric Todkill

Tony Kelly

Posts : 663
Join date : 2012-01-06
Age : 49
Location : Bolton

Quent wrote:French wankers! No problems at Dover, you can't take drugs across the water but the British have no problem with hookers in the boot. Unfortunately when we hit Calais Marie started screaming again and some French ponce insisted I open the boot.

The stench was unimaginable. A mixture of piss, shit and Chicken McNuggets. I still love her though. Anyway, I explained to Mr French Ponce why Marie was in the boot and that Percy the Pimp was after me. He said he understood but couldn't allow me into France.

So here we are again, sat in McDonalds car park in Dover. Where do I go from here?

Come back up north

Will Marie still love me when this is all over?

No

Will Percy kill me?

I hope so

Will Homebase ever take the ironing-board back?

Depends if it is bloodied and if you have the receipt

Mr Magoo · **406** Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Wed May 02 2012, 10:40

Mr Magoo

Youri Djorkaeff

Posts : 5794
Join date : 2012-01-06
Age : 59
Location : North Devon

I wonder if he is still alive,

Hipster_Nebula · **407** Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Wed May 02 2012, 12:51

Hipster_Nebula

Nat Lofthouse

Posts : 14152
Join date : 2012-01-23
Location : Scotland

Mr Magoo wrote:I wonder if he is still alive,

I can't imagine he'll evade the police for much longer and will definitely be due a stint in jail for kidnapping.

shame because he was an excellent poster.

Angry Dad · **408** Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Wed May 02 2012, 14:41

Angry Dad

Youri Djorkaeff

Posts : 5382
Join date : 2012-01-19
Location : East Sussex

This isnt funny anymore.

Mr Magoo · **409** Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Wed May 02 2012, 15:15

Mr Magoo

Youri Djorkaeff

Posts : 5794
Join date : 2012-01-06
Age : 59
Location : North Devon

Better not read it then.

Quent · **410** Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Wed May 02 2012, 15:58

Quent

Nicolas Anelka

Posts : 419
Join date : 2012-02-06

Angry Dad wrote:This isnt funny anymore.

It was never funny!

Quent · **411** Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Wed May 02 2012, 15:59

Quent

Nicolas Anelka

Posts : 419
Join date : 2012-02-06

Percy is closing in. Marie has withdrawn free blow jobs. I might never see Denton again. Thanks for all your support......

wanderlust · **412** Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Wed May 02 2012, 16:48

wanderlust

Nat Lofthouse

Posts : 23013
Join date : 2012-01-12

Quent wrote: I might never see Denton again.

Well at least something positive has come out of it.
Look on the bright side. Marie clearly understands how committed you are to your relationship with her and that can only bode well for the future. If blow jobs (free or otherwise) are a discussion topic I can only assume that you've let her out of the wardrobe, so things are clearly on the up. She is free of her pimp and you are together 24/7. Surely it's just a matter of time before she realises which side her bread is buttered and takes you off into the sunset for a life of unbridled joy in some little pimp-proof hideaway. Keep your spirits up - we're all behind you!

Mr Magoo · **413** Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Wed May 02 2012, 18:39

Mr Magoo

Youri Djorkaeff

Posts : 5794
Join date : 2012-01-06
Age : 59
Location : North Devon

We now who is behind him Very Happy

Keegan · **414** Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Wed May 02 2012, 20:03

Keegan

Admin

Posts : 7151
Join date : 2011-12-29
Age : 56
Location : Jamaica, mon.

Keep your chin up, Quent - we are rooting for you.

Quent · **415** Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Thu May 03 2012, 19:59

Quent

Nicolas Anelka

Posts : 419
Join date : 2012-02-06

I fear Marie no longer loves me.

Percy finally caught up with me in Argos, just as I was buying a replacement ironing-board. Once her ties had been cut and her gag removed she embraced Percy as though he were her long lost father.

She gave me one last free blowjob behind the electrical display for old times sake and then told me we are finished, unless I pay the going rate. I'm seeing her tomorrow at 10am.

Keegan · **416** Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Thu May 03 2012, 20:51

Keegan

Admin

Posts : 7151
Join date : 2011-12-29
Age : 56
Location : Jamaica, mon.

I love a happy ending. Don't you?

bwfc71 · **417** Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Thu May 03 2012, 20:52

bwfc71

Ivan Campo

Posts : 4925
Join date : 2012-01-06
Age : 53
Location : Bolton

And the 10,000 lost!!!

Just one word to say - idiot!!!

Quent · **418** Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Thu May 03 2012, 21:19

Quent

Nicolas Anelka

Posts : 419
Join date : 2012-02-06

Cheers bwfc71, that makes me feel much better.

Reebok Trotter · **419** Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Thu May 03 2012, 21:26

Reebok Trotter

Nat Lofthouse

Posts : 23694
Join date : 2012-01-02
Location : Broadmoor

We did warn you! There are none so blind than those that will not see. You let your pecker rule your brains on this occasion. Hopefully you will have learnt your lesson. Have you tried Match.com ?

Quent · **420** Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Thu May 03 2012, 21:29

Quent

Nicolas Anelka

Posts : 419
Join date : 2012-02-06

Reebok Trotter wrote:Have you tried Match.com ?

Are the hookers cheap, I'm £10k down remember.

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I'm in love with a Prostitute

401 Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Tue May 01 2012, 16:02

Quent

402 Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Tue May 01 2012, 17:07

wanderlust

403 Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Tue May 01 2012, 17:24

largehat

404 Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Tue May 01 2012, 18:51

Mr Magoo

405 Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Tue May 01 2012, 19:40

Lyric Todkill

406 Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Wed May 02 2012, 10:40

Mr Magoo

407 Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Wed May 02 2012, 12:51

Hipster_Nebula

408 Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Wed May 02 2012, 14:41

Angry Dad

409 Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Wed May 02 2012, 15:15

Mr Magoo

410 Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Wed May 02 2012, 15:58

Quent

411 Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Wed May 02 2012, 15:59

Quent

412 Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Wed May 02 2012, 16:48

wanderlust

413 Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Wed May 02 2012, 18:39

Mr Magoo

414 Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Wed May 02 2012, 20:03

Keegan

415 Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Thu May 03 2012, 19:59

Quent

416 Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Thu May 03 2012, 20:51

Keegan

417 Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Thu May 03 2012, 20:52

bwfc71

418 Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Thu May 03 2012, 21:19

Quent

419 Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Thu May 03 2012, 21:26

Reebok Trotter

420 Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute Thu May 03 2012, 21:29

Quent

421 Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute

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