HomeWhat happened to the couple who you caught having sexual relations in the toilet, the guy who was caught wanking in the toilet and the woman who had a dildo in her desk?
The Work Dump
+11
karlypants
bwfc71
Keegan
Norpig
Mr Magoo
Hipster_Nebula
Boggersbelief
gloswhite
Reebok Trotter
wanderlust
Natasha Whittam
15 posters
Go to page : 
1, 2, 3
Message [Page 2 of 3]
22 Re: The Work Dump Thu 28 Aug - 18:45
Mr Magoo
Youri Djorkaeff
I think Nat shit on the floor just so she could make this story up.
She probably does it at home on her glass coffee table.
She probably does it at home on her glass coffee table.
23 Re: The Work Dump Thu 28 Aug - 18:47
Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Hipster_Nebula wrote:What happened to the couple who you caught having sexual relations in the toilet, the guy who was caught wanking in the toilet and the woman who had a dildo in her desk?
I think you made some of that up, but isn't that the sort of thing that happens at all companies?
24 Re: The Work Dump Thu 28 Aug - 19:22
Norpig
Nat Lofthouse
we have an unknown woman at work who had a shit on the cubicle floor a few months ago and just walked out and left it and this is in a Hospital!
25 Re: The Work Dump Thu 28 Aug - 19:30
Hipster_Nebula
Nat Lofthouse
Natasha Whittam wrote:Hipster_Nebula wrote:What happened to the couple who you caught having sexual relations in the toilet, the guy who was caught wanking in the toilet and the woman who had a dildo in her desk?
I think you made some of that up, but isn't that the sort of thing that happens at all companies?
The dildo might not be true but the wanking definitely is something you said, and the sex I also remember you saying someone was looking up unseemly websites on company time.
And maybe it does, not encountered it myself but I'm not exactly looking.
26 Re: The Work Dump Thu 28 Aug - 19:38
Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Hipster_Nebula wrote:
And maybe it does, not encountered it myself but I'm not exactly looking.
You seem the sort of guy who would keep himself to himself, but I'm guessing even you would notice someone masturbating into the sink or taking a dump on the floor.
27 Re: The Work Dump Thu 28 Aug - 20:37
Keegan
Admin
My bet is on Cheryl. She visits the toilet a lot and eats a lot of shite. She would be the most likely to do a poo on the floor as being the most frequent visitor she is most likely to visit when all cubicles are full. Dave isn't going to want to have a fag with the fragrance of Eau de Poo wafting around so is unlikely to be the culprit. Mavis isn't likely to have left the shitter without looking in the mirror (women love mirrors) and so would have seen the offending poo on her face. Irene isn't going to do her first poo in 9 years on the floor where someone could have walked in on her in the act.
Clearly Cheryl is the prime suspect - but bear in mind that the real culprit may have been someone who agreed to the DNA test knowing full well that there was no blood in the stool and taking the test would remove all suspicion yet prove nothing against them. Does Reebok Trotter work for you?
Clearly Cheryl is the prime suspect - but bear in mind that the real culprit may have been someone who agreed to the DNA test knowing full well that there was no blood in the stool and taking the test would remove all suspicion yet prove nothing against them. Does Reebok Trotter work for you?
28 Re: The Work Dump Thu 28 Aug - 20:39
bwfc71
Ivan Campo
Question is, what time did you start work today, what time did you finish?
29 Re: The Work Dump Thu 28 Aug - 20:43
Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Keegan wrote:My bet is on Cheryl. She visits the toilet a lot and eats a lot of shite. She would be the most likely to do a poo on the floor as being the most frequent visitor she is most likely to visit when all cubicles are full. Dave isn't going to want to have a fag with the fragrance of Eau de Poo wafting around so is unlikely to be the culprit. Mavis isn't likely to have left the shitter without looking in the mirror (women love mirrors) and so would have seen the offending poo on her face. Irene isn't going to do her first poo in 9 years on the floor where someone could have walked in on her in the act.
Clearly Cheryl is the prime suspect - but bear in mind that the real culprit may have been someone who agreed to the DNA test knowing full well that there was no blood in the stool and taking the test would remove all suspicion yet prove nothing against them. Does Reebok Trotter work for you?
Thanks Miss Marple. I will sack Cheryl in the morning.
30 Re: The Work Dump Thu 28 Aug - 20:44
Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
bwfc71 wrote:Question is, what time did you start work today, what time did you finish?
You bellend, what has that got to do with the price of fish?
31 Re: The Work Dump Thu 28 Aug - 20:47
bwfc71
Ivan Campo
Natasha Whittam wrote:bwfc71 wrote:Question is, what time did you start work today, what time did you finish?
You bellend, what has that got to do with the price of fish?
A lot, to be fair, if you answer appropriately!
32 Re: The Work Dump Thu 28 Aug - 20:48
Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Ok nosey, I arrived around 10am and left about 5.15pm.
33 Re: The Work Dump Thu 28 Aug - 22:18
gloswhite
Guðni Bergsson
No wonder the staff are shitting on the floors, when the manager does, in effect, work part-time. 
34 Re: The Work Dump Thu 28 Aug - 22:35
karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Posts : 38150
Join date : 2012-08-04
Breadman wrote:This is like Cluedo with shit.
"Poodo", as it were......
35 Re: The Work Dump Thu 28 Aug - 22:47
Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
gloswhite wrote:No wonder the staff are shitting on the floors, when the manager does, in effect, work part-time.
Who are you? Mary Portas?
36 Re: The Work Dump Thu 28 Aug - 22:49
Keegan
Admin
I like logic puzzles. You're welcome!Natasha Whittam wrote:Keegan wrote:My bet is on Cheryl. She visits the toilet a lot and eats a lot of shite. She would be the most likely to do a poo on the floor as being the most frequent visitor she is most likely to visit when all cubicles are full. Dave isn't going to want to have a fag with the fragrance of Eau de Poo wafting around so is unlikely to be the culprit. Mavis isn't likely to have left the shitter without looking in the mirror (women love mirrors) and so would have seen the offending poo on her face. Irene isn't going to do her first poo in 9 years on the floor where someone could have walked in on her in the act.
Clearly Cheryl is the prime suspect - but bear in mind that the real culprit may have been someone who agreed to the DNA test knowing full well that there was no blood in the stool and taking the test would remove all suspicion yet prove nothing against them. Does Reebok Trotter work for you?
Thanks Miss Marple. I will sack Cheryl in the morning.
37 Re: The Work Dump Thu 28 Aug - 23:46
Sluffy
Admin
You don't employ any ethnics do you?
Two true story's.
A local educational establishment had to put up signs similar to this as a similar problem to yours was happening there.
A local hospiltal's main public reception was visited recently by a group of people dressed in burka's. When they moved they kindly left a present behind for the rest of us - right in the middle of the reception area!
Beggers belief really.
Two true story's.
A local educational establishment had to put up signs similar to this as a similar problem to yours was happening there.
A local hospiltal's main public reception was visited recently by a group of people dressed in burka's. When they moved they kindly left a present behind for the rest of us - right in the middle of the reception area!
Beggers belief really.
38 Re: The Work Dump Fri 29 Aug - 7:09
scottjames30
Nat Lofthouse
I paid one of your employees to do it, after he/she had eaten 7 boiled eggs and a curry.
Your employees are easy bought, £3.00 for a football programme is all it cost.
Your employees are easy bought, £3.00 for a football programme is all it cost.
39 Re: The Work Dump Fri 29 Aug - 7:59
rammywhite
Frank Worthington
Does anyone at work bring a dog in with them? Dogs aren't very fussy where they go
40 Re: The Work Dump Fri 29 Aug - 8:05
Guest
Guest
[quote="rammywhite"]Does anyone at work bring a dog in with them?
Other than Whittam's driver.......?
Other than Whittam's driver.......?
Message [Page 2 of 3]
Go to page : 1, 2, 3
Similar topics
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum