HomeWhat's so funny about a guy with a small penis? 
Joke Thread
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Norpig
Cajunboy
okocha
terenceanne
sunlight
Natasha Whittam
Leeds_Trotter
y2johnny
Angry Dad
Fabians Right Peg
Spillthebeans
Sluffy
Bolton Nuts
BoltonTillIDie
Bread2.0
karlypants
scottjames30
DEANO82
gloswhite
MartinBWFC
whatsgoingon
xmiles
finlaymcdanger
Bwfc1958
boltonbonce
Reebok Trotter
30 posters
Message [Page 6 of 15]
102 Re: Joke Thread Wed Mar 06 2019, 20:32
Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
boltonbonce wrote:What's so funny about a guy with a small penis?
Post another selfie and I guess we'll find out
103 Re: Joke Thread Wed Mar 06 2019, 20:42
boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Ha.Natasha Whittam wrote:boltonbonce wrote:What's so funny about a guy with a small penis?
Post another selfie and I guess we'll find out
The zips on my slippers are the only ones that work these days.
105 Re: Joke Thread Thu Apr 18 2019, 20:03
MartinBWFC
Ivan Campo
A Catholic girl went to confession and said to the priest,
"I'm pregnant.
He asked, "How did this happen, my child?"
She said, "I think it must be the second coming."
The priest, shocked by this reply asked, "What makes you think it's the second coming?"
She replied,
"Because I swallowed the first one."
"I'm pregnant.
He asked, "How did this happen, my child?"
She said, "I think it must be the second coming."
The priest, shocked by this reply asked, "What makes you think it's the second coming?"
She replied,
"Because I swallowed the first one."
106 Re: Joke Thread Mon Aug 19 2019, 15:17
Sluffy
Admin
A joke about vegetables has made it to the top of the menu as this year's funniest at the Edinburgh Fringe.
"I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have florets".
Ten jokes made the 2019 shortlist. Here are the next nine:
"Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy" - Richard Stott
"What's driving Brexit? From here it looks like it's probably the Duke of Edinburgh" - Milton Jones
"A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, 'Yes, of course. - That's 20 cows'" - Jake Lambert
"A thesaurus is great. There's no other word for it" - Ross Smith
"Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It's the reason I get up in the morning" - Ross Smith
"I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course; I'm really struggling to get out of it" - Adele Cliff
"After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging - Richard Pulsford
"To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian" - Mark Simmons
"I've got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad's contacts" - Ivo Graham
Sounds like a bit of a bad year to me!
"I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have florets".
Ten jokes made the 2019 shortlist. Here are the next nine:
"Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy" - Richard Stott
"What's driving Brexit? From here it looks like it's probably the Duke of Edinburgh" - Milton Jones
"A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, 'Yes, of course. - That's 20 cows'" - Jake Lambert
"A thesaurus is great. There's no other word for it" - Ross Smith
"Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It's the reason I get up in the morning" - Ross Smith
"I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course; I'm really struggling to get out of it" - Adele Cliff
"After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging - Richard Pulsford
"To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian" - Mark Simmons
"I've got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad's contacts" - Ivo Graham
Sounds like a bit of a bad year to me!
107 Re: Joke Thread Mon Aug 19 2019, 15:24
boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Tim Vine is the king of the one liners.
http://www.jokes4us.com/peoplejokes/comedianjokes/timvinejokes.html
http://www.jokes4us.com/peoplejokes/comedianjokes/timvinejokes.html
108 Re: Joke Thread Mon Aug 19 2019, 15:37
Sluffy
Admin
Quite like Milton Jones and Stewart Francis myself.
109 Re: Joke Thread Mon Aug 19 2019, 15:52
sunlight
Andy Walker
My fave Time Vine joke was where he came on the stage and pulled a funnel from out of his coat and said " funnely enough ".
I always use that gag when I am using a funnel.
I always use that gag when I am using a funnel.
110 Re: Joke Thread Mon Aug 19 2019, 16:03
boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Good one. Pass it on to Nat. She uses a funnel when she eats.sunlight wrote:My fave Time Vine joke was where he came on the stage and pulled a funnel from out of his coat and said " funnely enough ".
I always use that gag when I am using a funnel.
111 Re: Joke Thread Mon Aug 19 2019, 17:08
sunlight
Andy Walker
I can see the tongue-in-cheek here. I am sure the Lady is very classy and doesnt do that.
112 Re: Joke Thread Mon Aug 26 2019, 22:17
sunlight
Andy Walker
Reading about those awful plane crashes in the news today I was reminded of an incident when I was at the front of an Airliner looking at the controls.
I was looking down at a panel and asked "what are all these buttons for?" The pilot said "they keep your Blouse closed".
I was looking down at a panel and asked "what are all these buttons for?" The pilot said "they keep your Blouse closed".
115 Re: Joke Thread Fri Sep 13 2019, 21:46
DEANO82
Tony Kelly
While riding my motorbike, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.
Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?"
As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low cut blouse with cleavage to die for... "I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.
She said, “Get in and I’ll take you home so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.”
"That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"
"Oh, come now, I’m a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."
Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."
We arrived at her place which was just a few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."
"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, while unbuttoning her blouse exposing the most beautiful breasts I had ever seen. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Still in the ditch with my bike, I guess."
Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?"
As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low cut blouse with cleavage to die for... "I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.
She said, “Get in and I’ll take you home so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.”
"That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"
"Oh, come now, I’m a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."
Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."
We arrived at her place which was just a few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."
"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, while unbuttoning her blouse exposing the most beautiful breasts I had ever seen. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Still in the ditch with my bike, I guess."
116 Re: Joke Thread Fri Sep 13 2019, 23:16
Sluffy
Admin
DEANO82 wrote:While riding my motorbike, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.
Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?"
As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low cut blouse with cleavage to die for... "I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.
She said, “Get in and I’ll take you home so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.”
"That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"
"Oh, come now, I’m a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."
Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."
We arrived at her place which was just a few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."
"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, while unbuttoning her blouse exposing the most beautiful breasts I had ever seen. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Still in the ditch with my bike, I guess."
117 Re: Joke Thread Thu Nov 21 2019, 20:55
boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
A man accidentally strays into the kitchen of a posh restaurant, and notices the chef crimping an apple pie crust with his false teeth.
"That's disgusting!" said the man, "You ought to have a tool for that".
The chef replied, "I do, but I save it for the doughnuts".
"That's disgusting!" said the man, "You ought to have a tool for that".
The chef replied, "I do, but I save it for the doughnuts".
118 Re: Joke Thread Mon Dec 16 2019, 11:15
DEANO82
Tony Kelly
Husband and Wife are Christmas Shopping at a busy shopping mall . The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on his cell. The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do." He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?" Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all choked up… "Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied. "Well I am in the Bike shop next door to that."
119 Re: Joke Thread Mon Dec 16 2019, 12:54
karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Posts : 38155
Join date : 2012-08-04
DEANO82 wrote:Husband and Wife are Christmas Shopping at a busy shopping mall . The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on his cell. The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do." He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?" Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all choked up… "Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied. "Well I am in the Bike shop next door to that."
Good one! Message [Page 6 of 15]
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