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Message [Page 10 of 15]
184 Re: Joke Thread Wed Feb 02 2022, 10:26
Whitesince63
El Hadji Diouf
I called at a small bed and breakfast place last week but the door was locked.
I knocked and a window opened and a lady looked out and said “what do you want.”
“I want to stay here.”
“Well stay there then.”
If somethings neither here nor there, where the hell is it?
Mrs White went to a beauty parlour last week and had a mud pack. For two days she looked nice then the mud fell off.
She was classy when she was young though, all her tattoos were spelled right.
They say it’s a small world but I wouldn’t want to have to paint it.
The police stopped me in my car the other day. They said it was a spot check so I admitted to two pimples and a boil.
A luxury meal for us was a prairies sandwich. Two slices of bread with lots of space in between.
I knocked and a window opened and a lady looked out and said “what do you want.”
“I want to stay here.”
“Well stay there then.”
If somethings neither here nor there, where the hell is it?
Mrs White went to a beauty parlour last week and had a mud pack. For two days she looked nice then the mud fell off.
She was classy when she was young though, all her tattoos were spelled right.
They say it’s a small world but I wouldn’t want to have to paint it.
The police stopped me in my car the other day. They said it was a spot check so I admitted to two pimples and a boil.
A luxury meal for us was a prairies sandwich. Two slices of bread with lots of space in between.
190 Re: Joke Thread Wed Feb 02 2022, 13:09
Norpig
Nat Lofthouse
i can't see any of your jokes lusty? Not sure if it's because i'm at work?
191 Re: Joke Thread Wed Feb 02 2022, 13:30
wanderlust
Nat Lofthouse
They're pictures of jokes. I can see them OK but maybe it is a work policy re images.Norpig wrote:i can't see any of your jokes lusty? Not sure if it's because i'm at work?
Anyone else having an issue seeing them?
193 Re: Joke Thread Thu Feb 03 2022, 13:56
okocha
El Hadji Diouf
Posts : 2589
Join date : 2013-09-01
Location : Old Boltonian
Civilisation in 2022
� Our Phones - Wireless
� Cooking - Fireless
� Cars - Keyless
� Food - Fatless
� Tyres -Tubeless
� Dress - Sleeveless
� Youth - Jobless
� Leaders - Shameless
� Relationships - Meaningless
� Attitudes - Careless
� Babies - Fatherless
� Feelings - Heartless
� Education - Valueless
� Children – Mannerless
We are-SPEECHLESS,
Government-is CLUELESS,
And our Politicians-are WORTHLESS!
Only in This Stupid World ......do we leave cars worth thousands of
pounds in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. :shrug:
Only in This Stupid World.....do banks leave vault doors open and then
chain the pens to the counters.. :shrug: ♂ ️
EVER WONDER
.Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin :question::question: :shrug: ♂ ️️
Why is it that Doctors call what they do 'practice' :question::question: :shrug: ♂ ️
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing
liquid made with real lemons :question::question: :shrug: ♂ ️
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker :question::question: :shrug: ♂ ️
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour :question::question: :shrug: ♂ ️
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food :question::question: :shrug: ♂ ️
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes :question::question: :shrug: ♂ ️
You know that Indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why
don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff :question::question: :bangbang: :shrug: ♂ ️
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? :question: :shrug: ♂ ️
If flying is so Safe, why do they call the airport the terminal :question::question: :shrug:
� Our Phones - Wireless
� Cooking - Fireless
� Cars - Keyless
� Food - Fatless
� Tyres -Tubeless
� Dress - Sleeveless
� Youth - Jobless
� Leaders - Shameless
� Relationships - Meaningless
� Attitudes - Careless
� Babies - Fatherless
� Feelings - Heartless
� Education - Valueless
� Children – Mannerless
We are-SPEECHLESS,
Government-is CLUELESS,
And our Politicians-are WORTHLESS!
Only in This Stupid World ......do we leave cars worth thousands of
pounds in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. :shrug:
Only in This Stupid World.....do banks leave vault doors open and then
chain the pens to the counters.. :shrug: ♂ ️
EVER WONDER
.Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin :question::question: :shrug: ♂ ️️
Why is it that Doctors call what they do 'practice' :question::question: :shrug: ♂ ️
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing
liquid made with real lemons :question::question: :shrug: ♂ ️
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker :question::question: :shrug: ♂ ️
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour :question::question: :shrug: ♂ ️
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food :question::question: :shrug: ♂ ️
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes :question::question: :shrug: ♂ ️
You know that Indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why
don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff :question::question: :bangbang: :shrug: ♂ ️
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? :question: :shrug: ♂ ️
If flying is so Safe, why do they call the airport the terminal :question::question: :shrug:
194 Re: Joke Thread Thu Feb 03 2022, 14:10
Whitesince63
El Hadji Diouf
okocha wrote:Civilisation in 2022
� Our Phones - Wireless
� Cooking - Fireless
� Cars - Keyless
� Food - Fatless
� Tyres -Tubeless
� Dress - Sleeveless
� Youth - Jobless
� Leaders - Shameless
� Relationships - Meaningless
� Attitudes - Careless
� Babies - Fatherless
� Feelings - Heartless
� Education - Valueless
� Children – Mannerless
We are-SPEECHLESS,
Government-is CLUELESS,
And our Politicians-are WORTHLESS!
Only in This Stupid World ......do we leave cars worth thousands of
pounds in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. :shrug:
Only in This Stupid World.....do banks leave vault doors open and then
chain the pens to the counters.. :shrug: ♂ ️
EVER WONDER
.Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin :question::question: :shrug: ♂ ️️
Why is it that Doctors call what they do 'practice' :question::question: :shrug: ♂ ️
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing
liquid made with real lemons :question::question: :shrug: ♂ ️
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker :question::question: :shrug: ♂ ️
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour :question::question: :shrug: ♂ ️
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food :question::question: :shrug: ♂ ️
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes :question::question: :shrug: ♂ ️
You know that Indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why
don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff :question::question: :bangbang: :shrug: ♂ ️
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? :question: :shrug: ♂ ️
If flying is so Safe, why do they call the airport the terminal :question::question: :shrug:
195 Re: Joke Thread Mon Feb 07 2022, 15:08
wanderlust
Nat Lofthouse
OK - now I can't see them.Norpig wrote:i can't see any of your jokes lusty? Not sure if it's because i'm at work?
The reason is that the Nuts website has a format protocol that doesn't allow them in that format. It's clear that the programming itself isn't an obstacle because they appeared initially as images but it insists on using the correct format in the text editor - which it doesn't for some images bizarrely. I'll try again
197 Re: Joke Thread Mon Feb 07 2022, 15:20
wanderlust
Nat Lofthouse
That working?
I've discovered "social media"
I've discovered "social media"
Last edited by wanderlust on Mon Feb 07 2022, 15:32; edited 1 time in total
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