Bonce's own personal thread

I re-read 'em all not long ago.

Still as brilliant now as they were thirty years ago.

I've also got the original Red Dwarf books which are still funny now.

I always preferred them to the TV shows because a lot of the humour is subtler and comes across better in print.

God, I am a nerd, aren't I......?

Breadman wrote:

God, I am a nerd, aren't I......?

God agrees.

Yes.I know the feeling.
As a schoolboy I was into astronomy,birdwatching,stamp collecting,reading,chess,football programme collecting,to name but a few pastimes.
My parents finally took a firm stand when I started collecting matchbox labels.
They assumed I'd never get a girlfriend if I carried on as I was.
I'm still a nerd,but what the hell. The world was made for good guys like us.

Flasher alert at work!
I've been asked to keep my eye open for 'anything unusual' whatever that means.
Don't know what they expect me to do,although I do usually carry the kind of tools that could do him serious damage.
Never understood what a flasher gets out of it.
Any of you lot ever done it? I won't snitch.

England need to use this morris dancing 'Haka' from now on. The All Blacks will be beaten before the whistle blows!

Anyone seen the new Sainsbury's Christmas ad?
Poor taste,or well done?

boltonbonce wrote:Anyone seen the new Sainsbury's Christmas ad?
Poor taste,or well done?

What an advert, seen it the other day.

Personally,I like it.

I think its great, the German got the best deal with the chocolate though.

Yes. That biscuit was no chocolate hobnob.

boltonbonce wrote:Yes. That biscuit was no chocolate hobnob.

 I think it had gone off, i bet he shot him the next day.

scottjames30 wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:Yes. That biscuit was no chocolate hobnob.

 I think it had gone off, i bet he shot him the next day.

He should have kept the biscuit. The bullet would have bounced off.

I'm currently watching Brucie's price is right on challenge +1, it's fab! He's just had a 14" colour portable up for a chance to win!

karlypants wrote:I'm currently watching Brucie's price is right on challenge +1, it's fab! He's just had a 14" colour portable up for a chance to win!

Well done KP. I've been pushing for a dedicated 'Brucie Channel' for several years now,but all to no avail. We just have to make the best of what we can get.
I'll keep pushing,but my mate Lennie,who did all the legwork for me,was sectioned again last week so I'm working single handed for the moment.Keep the faith.

This sums us Brits up perfectly.
A swan having a kip in the road is coned off by the police. An officer later wrapped it in his jacket and removed it from the road.
The incident took place in Bath,so manda might know more about it.  

boltonbonce wrote:This sums us Brits up perfectly.
A swan having a kip in the road is coned off by the police. An officer later wrapped it in his jacket and removed it from the road.
The incident took place in Bath,so manda might know more about it.  

You can't harm a swan its the Queens bird.

scottjames30 wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:This sums us Brits up perfectly.
A swan having a kip in the road is coned off by the police. An officer later wrapped it in his jacket and removed it from the road.
The incident took place in Bath,so manda might know more about it.  

You can't harm a swan its the Queens bird.

The black swan is the queens, Scott.

karlypants wrote:

scottjames30 wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:This sums us Brits up perfectly.
A swan having a kip in the road is coned off by the police. An officer later wrapped it in his jacket and removed it from the road.
The incident took place in Bath,so manda might know more about it.  

You can't harm a swan its the Queens bird.

The black swan is the queens, Scott.

Why don't you start another racist thread about swans.

scottjames30 wrote:

karlypants wrote:

scottjames30 wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:This sums us Brits up perfectly.
A swan having a kip in the road is coned off by the police. An officer later wrapped it in his jacket and removed it from the road.
The incident took place in Bath,so manda might know more about it.  

You can't harm a swan its the Queens bird.

The black swan is the queens, Scott.

Why don't you start another racist thread about swans.

Dickhead