Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VII

Is Parky trying to sign him? He'd fit right in at Bolton.

He's now losing his mind.

This is on my watch list for later

I only popped out for a paper, but nearly didn't come back. Ambling happily along, I stopped for a few seconds to adjust my ear buds, and this happened right in front of me. A few more paces and I was a dead man. Think I'll resume my route past the pond from now on. I think all the rain has loosened the roots.

Must be your one lucky day a year boncey 

Norpig wrote:Must be your one lucky day a year boncey 

I did notice a woman in high heels, carrying a chainsaw rushing frantically toward a waiting taxi. I snapped the taxi, but the woman remains a mystery.

You are incredibly lucky Bonce as it could have driven you into the ground like a tent peg!

karlypants wrote:You are incredibly lucky Bonce as it could have driven you into the ground like a tent peg!

I've always wanted to be buried under a tree, but not quite like that. I'm laughing, but I got lucky.

Something here that might be of interest to Nat.

The merkin. I'd never heard of them until today. 

It would certainly explain the top of Brucie's head.

Jehova's Witnesses been round this morning, and I sent them away with a flea in their ear. I've tried my best to be nice when they've called at other times, but they tend to stick to the doorstep like a limpet, so I felt justified in seeing them off.
How do you lot deal with them?

boltonbonce wrote:Jehova's Witnesses been round this morning, and I sent them away with a flea in their ear. I've tried my best to be nice when they've called at other times, but they tend to stick to the doorstep like a limpet, so I felt justified in seeing them off.
How do you lot deal with them?

They do the same round my house and they really get on my tits.

I have politely told them to not knock again in the past but they still come round with a book in their hand and they are always in groups of 3 with their kids.

I've given them some expletives in the past to try and put them off coming back round but they still do.

Perhaps I should throw a bucket of water out the front bedroom window when they are stood there?

I was walking down my road  one time and two lads came over to me getting very close. I said that if they came any closer I would knock them both out.

Their reply was we love you too!

One of them got an iPad out to show me what the Kingdom of Heaven looked like! I really need that at ten in the morning.

Apparently if you tell them you are Catholic they don't hang about although I've never tried it.

I just tell them, thank you for calling but I'm not interested and I don't mean to be rude but I'm going to close the door now.

As I know they and their God will forgive me!

I remember someone telling me that, if you tell them you used to be a Jehova's Witness, but were kicked out, they're not allowed to speak to you.
Can't vouch for the truth of this, but I might try it.

I always invite them in, have a nice cup of tea, and then we sing kumbaya holding hands.

Natasha Whittam wrote:I always invite them in, have a nice cup of tea, and then we sing kumbaya holding hands.

Hope you sing the Bolton version -

Someone scored a goal, John Byrom...

We all need to dress like this next season.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/video_and_audio/headlines/48757020/the-brighton-tailor-whose-identity-became-his-business

Freddie Mercury reincarnated?