Bonce's own personal thread. Volume VII

karlypants wrote:I see that jug ears has taken a pay cut at the beeb.

Still not enough though!

Why?

Ocado man just dropped our grocery off, and said his next drop off was at Joe Hart's. I asked him to put in a good word.

ooh! The pain! 

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-7481091/Man-41-gets-stuck-36-hour-ERECTION-painful-feared-penis-fall-off.html

At least he had somewhere to hang his golf bag.

Just watched the RL play off quarter final between Wigan and Salford. The Red Devils were a tad unlucky to lose, but what a fantastic advertisement for the game. Brutal, in the best sense of the word.

Rather concerned about this German bear on ebay.

I can't take much more. Nazi bears are bad enough, but this Frankenstein monster of a bear is too much to take. What drug addled mind concocted this?
I want my teddy.

I may have to give ebay a miss for a few days

It's hell being a pensioner.

Just a shower and porridge for me, if it's all the same.

A woman down the close is having a lingerie party. WTF is all that about?

I don't get on the phone to my mates and say, 'Coming round tonight lads? We're trying on underpants'.

Bloody women.

boltonbonce wrote:A woman down the close is having a lingerie party. WTF is all that about?

I don't get on the phone to my mates and say, 'Coming round tonight lads? We're trying on underpants'.

Bloody women.

But it doesn't just stop there Boncey. They road test vibrators and choc chip dick lick!

I wish you hadn't told me that. 
I remember my old mum buying a 'neck massager' from a pamphlet that came through the door. It had all sorts of items for sale, such as folding walking sticks etc.
I didn't have the nerve to tell her it was a vibrator, but she always caused a titter when she took it out to use at bingo.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-49933003 

Ed Sheeran has put a pair of his slippers up for auction bonce they reckon they will make 200 quid, just thought you might want to comment.....

Angry Dad wrote:Ed Sheeran has put a pair of his slippers up for auction bonce they reckon they will make 200 quid, just thought you might want to comment.....

The thought of wearing second hand slippers

karlypants wrote:

Angry Dad wrote:Ed Sheeran has put a pair of his slippers up for auction bonce they reckon they will make 200 quid, just thought you might want to comment.....

The thought of wearing second hand slippers

Quite right KP. Slippers are very personal to a man. I wouldn't go around wearing second hand underpants.
Slippers are the same. My old slippers are sent to slipper heaven, or given to a local dog.

Have you got any boot slippers bonce or cuban heeled slippers like a short fat bald Italian bloke i know.

Had a chat with him but really taking the piss and he said he got them online from House of Slippers that really cracked me up. I said nice boots mate and he said yes i got them from House of Slippers obviously takes his slippering very seriously.