Joke Thread

whatsgoingon wrote:Little Tommy went in to his Dad's bedroom looking for his Dad, when he went in his Dad had his Mum bent over the bed and was giving her a right seeing to. As he stood there horrified his dad turned round saw him there and winked and then started to laugh.
When his dad had finished he thought he'd better go and find little Tommy and make sure he's all right, so he went into Tommy's bedroom and saw him with his Gran bent over the bed banging her like a drum, he yelled what the f**k are you doing.
Little Tommy turned round winked and said "it's not so funny when it's your mum is it" and laughed.

xmiles wrote:Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however they had got over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.

Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.

One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them.

Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them.

She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.

The girls then proceeded home.

The next day one of the women's husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over,  so he phoned the other husband and said: 'These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!'

'That's nothing' said the other husband, 'Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said..

'From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you.'

terenceanne wrote:A man comes home and says to his wife ..."Our Postman says he has shagged every woman on our street except one"
The wife thinks for a minute and says " It must be that miserable cow at number 18"

Barb Dwyer wrote:A woman goes to her gynecologist.  
"What seems to be the problem?" asked her doctor.
"Something is terribly wrong, I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my Vagina."
The doctor had a look, then chuckled before she said
"Those aren't postage stamps my dear, they're the stickers off the bananas"

Bwfc1958 wrote:An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and a homely brunette are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.
The brunette thinks 'I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert.'
The blonde thinks 'I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the dowdy brunette for me and she slapped the beast.'
The Frenchman thinks 'I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake.'
The Englishman thinks 'I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again.