Nigerian Scouting thread.

Gash !

...............Now, where has everybody gone to ???????????????????????

Sorry to say, the last time i heard from RT, he was having a lot of grief from a couple schizophrenics... they keep ganging up on him.

So he tends to stay in his padded cell most days.

I think they are letting him out again this Sunday.

Brother Dar, I must apologise for the delay in updating you but it appears that Mr Tikkala was pulling my chain. He has not answered my e-mails or phone calls and I fear he was talking out of his arse when he offered to be your sponsor for May.

Being mindful that you are still owed for six scouting reports I resolved to sort out this fiscal shortfall last week, when I was on holiday in Burkina Faso, attending the annual World Scouting Jamboree.

I stayed at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Ouagadougou and I made a few contacts so it's all good.

I did a presentation for the General Synod and showed them your Youtube scouting clips as well as your musical contributions. The committee were very happy with your progress and the general consensus was that Puddy Comb could be one for the future.

This years event was marred by a tragedy when two American 'tourists' burgled the house of Michael Litoris, the President of the Scout leaders, who has a holiday home up on Choctaw Ridge. On brandishing his chopper, the two burglars , a Robert Gentry and a Billie Joe McAllister ran off in the dark which resulted in Mr McAllister falling to his death from the Tallahatchie Bridge. Mr Litoris was being interviewed about the tragedy by a TV crew from CNN so I took the opportunity to speak with him after the cameras had stopped filming.

I told him about your scouting endeavours and the fact that we had been let down with a lack of sponsorship from Mr Tikkala. Mr Litoris readily agreed to cover your wages for May and he is currently just awaiting clearance from the IRS and then you will be good to go.

I have every confidence that Mr Litoris will deliver because he is a wealthy man back in the USA. He was born in the Pudenda region of Mons Veneris and took over the family confectionery chain from an early age. Their brand leader being ' Litoris Allsorts ' which are sold throughout the world.

Picture enclosed of Mr Litoris being interviewed in Burkina Faso.


As soon as I receive confirmation I will PM you with the necessary information.

Would that be Robert A Gentry, well I'm shocked, what a small world it really is.

Used to play with Bobby and Billy Joe down the saw mill years ago.

RIP.

Am not familar with this peoples the ugly guy is say but darequam am just tell you that in America IRS is same as tax peoples in england so is possable Mr Litoris is not pay his taxes so be carful please.

Mo, I think you will find that Bolton Nuts always carry out a robust ' fit and proper person' test before we accept any sponsorship.

I let my guard slip at Mr Hazelnut's funeral because I had a bad case of the squitters at the time and I was in a rush with a later appointment I had prearranged at Shifnall Street.

Brother Dar, I have just had a meeting with Mr Litoris in Shifnall Street and I can confirm that your wages are now ready for collection. Approximately 7,000 Naira is the amount I have been quoted. Mr Litoris will not deal with Western Union after he had a bad experience with a scammer so he paid you via a Moneygram.

Just nip into any post office or bank in Ibadan that uses Moneygram and you are good to go.

The payee is Michael Litoris and all information is the same as before.

Okay RT.......
I have already started work on this month's report, even though there is not an assurance on who to cover for this month, but you need not bothered as i'll stay commited to my job with the team.

I have a meeting this afternoon with the President of the ' Burnt Oak ', a Mr Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside so I am hoping to have something in place by the time that Tiffin is served.

You crack on with your reports because I am confident that I will be able to honour our obligation to you.

Good news Brother Dar. The President has offered to sponsor you for June. He also showed me a copy of his enhanced CRB check issued by the Quango Corporation so we have no worries about him not being a fit and proper person.

I can't give too much information about Mr Burnside because he is more of a retiring philanthropic type. For many years he lived in a forest in Australia where he survived on nothing but bush tucker.


Mr Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside. Proud to sponsor Brother Dar on behalf of Bolton Nuts.

Strangely enough I'd thought he would have big bushy sideburns for some reason or other.

The picture he let me use is quite an old one. He has sent me a more up to date one which is in colour. He hasn't altered all that much since his bushtucker days.

He looks very much like DI Burnside from The Bill (when it was good!)

Thats good, I look forward to working with my new gorgeous sponsor.

That is all well and good Brother Dar but did Mike Litoris come good for you ?

I've heard Mr Litoris takes a lot of satisfying, so i hope you're up for the job Dar.

Sorry for just typing this now, Even though there were some bisma issues while trying to collect my wages last week, but a Huge thank U to Mr Mr Litoris, who stepped up to replace the fumbling Mr Tikala. I would be ungrateful if i forget to thank & recognice the efforts of RT who has always made himself available whenever i needed him. More grease to your elbow pals and also to all my followers on this forum.

Prior to the fact that there has been a lot of sporting activities in this month of june, ya'all should expect more than enough reports this time around, i already got nine on the table, and I'm telling you there are still lots of ground for me to cover this month. i'll try to upload some this week and the follow ups would be done over the next....
Thanks ya'll....

Can't wait - keep up the good work Dar.

(Would you like me to change your user name to Darequam rather than Nigerian Bolton - after all RT, your sponsors and everyone following your reports have no conection what so ever with Burnden Aces forum and have not done so for about eight months now).