Joke Thread

Have you heard about the Asian paedophile DJ ?


Jamaal fix it.

All this stuff about Jimmy Saville is all nonsence, he once fixed it for me when I was 8 to milk a cow blindefolded.

aaron_bwfc wrote:All this stuff about Jimmy Saville is all nonsence, he once fixed it for me when I was 8 to milk a cow blindefolded.

Is there no lengths to that man's depravity ?

Breaking News: Luis Suarez, Gareth Bale, Ashley Young and Fernando Torres have all been nominated for Fifa's Fallon D'Floor 2012

Now then, now then, now then - that will be keeping the kids away tonight!

Sky news have reported today that Saville wasn't the only one involved with the 300 sexual assaults allegations against him, apparantly jeremy beadle had a small hand in it.

Bob The Builder has been sacked by the BBC. They have stated they can't trust any kids TV star that claims to be able to fix it.

A policeman spots a Black guy dancing on the top of a Volkswagen.

He radios for backup and says "I've got a darkie dancing on a car"

"You can't say that over the radio" says the operator "You have to use politically correct terminology"

"Ok" he says "I've got a Zulu, Tango on Golf"

Yesterday Owen Coyle donned a pumpkin outfit and waited until midnight to see if he would turn into a coach

Talking of coaches, apparently Natasha is going to be one.

They're taking her teeth out and putting seats in.

Is that an Airbus? (sorry Nat)

I went to the gym this afternoon and found a small hole in my trainer, just big enough to fit my finger in. She has now made a formal complaint and I have been banned for life.

With the sparkly surnamed celebrities Starr and Glitter both being arrested I reckon Neil Diamond must be bricking it.

Paddy goes into a police station. Looking around, he asks, " Who are all these pictures of ?"

The constable says, " These are all the people we need to catch."

Paddy is confused and asks, " Why didn't you catch the fcukers when you were taking their pictures?"

A doctor in a Oldham Hospital is lecturing a group of trainee nurses on the the subject of involuntary muscle spasms.

" For example " he says to one nurse, " Do you know what your arsehole is doing while you are having an orgasm ?"

" Yes" she replies, " He's at Eastlands, watching City."

Polyfilla have just launched their new Saville range........

It fills small cracks and you wont be able to tell for 30 years...

You're sick!

I've just watched a documentary about children being beaten and abused in Indian sweatshops....

And looking at the quality of the stitching on my trainers, I can't say I am surprised...