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Joke Thread

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Bwfc1958
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601Joke Thread - Page 31 Empty Re: Joke Thread Mon Apr 21 2014, 17:18

Reebok Trotter

Reebok Trotter
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Good News From Downing Street Concerning Pensions and Benefits


نور اگر رفت سايه پيدا نيست نقش ديوار و چشم خيره ما نقش سايه ]دگر نمي دان نور اگر رفت سايه. ر رفت نور اگر رفت سايه پيدا نيست نقش ديوار و چشم خيره ما نقش سايه=]نور اگر رفت سايه. ررفت ديوار و چشم خيره ما نقش سايه دگر نمي دان نور اگر رفت سايه پيدانيست نقش ديوار و چشمخيره ماسايه]يوار و چشم خيره ما نقش سايه دگر نمي دان نور اگر رفت سايه پيدانيست نقش ديوار و چشم خيرهماپيدا نيست نقش


602Joke Thread - Page 31 Empty Re: Joke Thread Tue Apr 22 2014, 13:37

Reebok Trotter

Reebok Trotter
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

A genuine advert.

Joke Thread - Page 31 2d0kjlf

603Joke Thread - Page 31 Empty Re: Joke Thread Mon Apr 28 2014, 19:38

BoltonTillIDie

BoltonTillIDie
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first pint.

Got him a Fosters .... he didn't like it - I had it.
Then I got him Carlsberg, he didn't like it so I had it.
It was the same with the Guinness and the Cider.
By the time we got down to the whisky I could hardly push his fucking pram.

604Joke Thread - Page 31 Empty Re: Joke Thread Mon Apr 28 2014, 21:37

Guest


Guest

How The French Military uniform evolved

A long time ago, the British and French were at War. During one battle, the French captured an English major. They took the major to their headquarters and a French general began to question him.

The French general asked 'why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easy targets for us to shoot?'.

In his bland English way, the major informed the general that the reason English officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won't show and the men they are leading won't panic.

And that is why from that day to now, all French army officers wear brown pants.

605Joke Thread - Page 31 Empty Re: Joke Thread Mon Apr 28 2014, 21:38

Guest


Guest

As a man of Jewish descent, I don't like jokes about us Jews.
I think they often cement prejudices and misinterpretations of the Jewish people and culture.
But, every now and then, even I enjoy a good laugh and feel that I shouldn't be so serious about everything.

So I have a very good joke about the holocaust here, if anyone wants to buy it.

606Joke Thread - Page 31 Empty Re: Joke Thread Mon Apr 28 2014, 21:41

karlypants

karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

BoltonTillIDie wrote:I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first pint.

Got him a Fosters .... he didn't like it - I had it.
Then I got him Carlsberg, he didn't like it so I had it.
It was the same with the Guinness and the Cider.
By the time we got down to the whisky I could hardly push his fucking pram.
 lol!

607Joke Thread - Page 31 Empty Re: Joke Thread Mon Apr 28 2014, 21:48

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Q: What did the man with slab of asphalt under his arm order? A: "A beer please, and one for the road." 

608Joke Thread - Page 31 Empty Re: Joke Thread Fri May 02 2014, 13:11

Keegan

Keegan
Admin

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Jordanian, a Kiwi, a Swede, a Finn, a Canadian, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, an Argentinian, a Libyan, a Muslim, a Hindu, a Buddhist, an African and a Jamaican went to a night club.

The bouncer said, "Sorry, I can't let you in without a Thai".

https://forum.boltonnuts.co.uk

609Joke Thread - Page 31 Empty Re: Joke Thread Sun May 04 2014, 16:43

Guest


Guest

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'
The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'
The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'
The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put 50 quid in the poor box.'
The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.
The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'
The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the 50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!

610Joke Thread - Page 31 Empty Re: Joke Thread Sun May 04 2014, 23:16

Mr Magoo

Mr Magoo
Youri Djorkaeff
Youri Djorkaeff

The last 2 jokes are shit.

611Joke Thread - Page 31 Empty Re: Joke Thread Sun May 04 2014, 23:20

Mr Magoo

Mr Magoo
Youri Djorkaeff
Youri Djorkaeff

Wife went mad at me because l didn 't open the car door for her mother.
I just panic 'd and swam for the surface

612Joke Thread - Page 31 Empty Re: Joke Thread Thu May 15 2014, 19:09

BoltonTillIDie

BoltonTillIDie
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Wanderers are monitoring the situation before making a move for Korea's least intelligent footballer, 22 year old striker Sum Dim Twat.

613Joke Thread - Page 31 Empty Re: Joke Thread Thu May 15 2014, 19:10

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

BoltonTillIDie wrote:Wanderers are monitoring the situation before making a move for Korea's least intelligent footballer, 22 year old striker Sum Dim Twat.

Mods making racist jokes now?

 :trust: 

614Joke Thread - Page 31 Empty Re: Joke Thread Thu May 15 2014, 19:25

MartinBWFC

MartinBWFC
Ivan Campo
Ivan Campo

Linford Christie goes to join his local golf club, steward says sorry sir but we don't accept black members here theres a Municipal 10 minutes down the road you can join, but you don't know who I am says Linford, steward retorts I'm sure you're a thoroughly nice chap but we don't acccept black members here, theres a Municipal 10 minutes down the road you can join, but I am Linford Christie, oh sorry says steward, it won't take you that fucking long then.



I'll get me coat.

615Joke Thread - Page 31 Empty Re: Joke Thread Thu May 15 2014, 21:27

Sluffy

Sluffy
Admin

To be honest I find difficulty over jokes like the above two.

The first I found funny and non offensive, the second exactly the opposite.

I'll leave them both up for now but if anyone as the slightest problem with either one please say (or pm me if you rather) and I will take either or both of them down.

I hope that is fair and reasonable to everyone?

616Joke Thread - Page 31 Empty Re: Joke Thread Thu May 15 2014, 21:41

Mr Magoo

Mr Magoo
Youri Djorkaeff
Youri Djorkaeff

Very Racist, a warning should be put on them, especially Martin Linford cannot run that fast anymore.

617Joke Thread - Page 31 Empty Re: Joke Thread Thu May 15 2014, 22:11

Reebok Trotter

Reebok Trotter
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Humour ,like beauty, is in the eyes of the beholder.

618Joke Thread - Page 31 Empty Re: Joke Thread Thu May 15 2014, 22:16

Mr Magoo

Mr Magoo
Youri Djorkaeff
Youri Djorkaeff

Racist

619Joke Thread - Page 31 Empty Re: Joke Thread Fri May 16 2014, 08:18

gloswhite

gloswhite
Guðni Bergsson
Guðni Bergsson

Sluffy, by raising the point like you did, which you are perfectly entitled to, you are actually making a bigger issue of it, than if you hadn't bothered. You know us lot by now. If we were offended, we would have let you know. Having said that, its good to see that you care about us  Very Happy

620Joke Thread - Page 31 Empty Re: Joke Thread Sat May 17 2014, 19:53

Spillthebeans

Spillthebeans
Nicolas Anelka
Nicolas Anelka

A hunter kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.
Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.
The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for a clue.
The dad said,"Well, it's what mummy calls me sometimes."
The little girl screams to her brother,
"Don't eat it! It's a fuckin arsehole!

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