HomeJust been on bigbustycoons.com.
Damn, those guys have really good bus companies.
Damn, those guys have really good bus companies.
Joke Thread
+45
Bwfc1958
Pevensey Pete
Bollotom2014
Boggersbelief
boltonbonce
NickFazer
Soul Kitchen
karlypants
Culcheth_White
Lofty_Love
scottjames30
Triumph
Sgt. Bash
Leeds_Trotter
rammywhite
terenceanne
Lyric Todkill
JonnyRandom
MartinBWFC
Angry Dad
LeedsWanderer
WhiteBic
Reebok_Rebel
BoltonTillIDie
Copper Dragon
Whatsupdoc
Numpty 28723
doffcocker
Mr Magoo
Bolton Nuts
xmiles
jayjay23
Natasha Whittam
Spillthebeans
trotter1948
gloswhite
Quent
Sluffy
largehat
Banks of the Croal
bwfc71
Keegan
wanderlust
aaron_bwfc
Reebok Trotter
49 posters
Message [Page 39 of 50]
762 Re: Joke Thread Mon Jan 19 2015, 18:27
Reebok Trotter
Nat Lofthouse
Bwfc1958 wrote:Just been on bigbustycoons.com.
Damn, those guys have really good bus companies.
763 Re: Joke Thread Mon Jan 19 2015, 19:13
Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Racist. I presume bans will be forthcoming.
764 Re: Joke Thread Mon Jan 19 2015, 19:17
BoltonTillIDie
Nat Lofthouse
Posts : 13602
Join date : 2012-07-19
Age : 44
Location : Halifax
There's nothing racist with Big Bus Tycoons
765 Re: Joke Thread Mon Jan 19 2015, 19:20
Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
It's subtle racism. Shame on everyone except me.
766 Re: Joke Thread Tue Jan 20 2015, 17:16
Bwfc1958
Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!
A man walks up to the small window at the petrol station.
"Can I please have a kit Kat chunky?"
The woman goes and gets a kit Kat chunky and brings it back to him.
"No", says the man, "I wanted a normal kit Kat you fat bitch".
"Can I please have a kit Kat chunky?"
The woman goes and gets a kit Kat chunky and brings it back to him.
"No", says the man, "I wanted a normal kit Kat you fat bitch".
767 Re: Joke Thread Tue Jan 20 2015, 19:10
scottjames30
Nat Lofthouse
Whats the difference between a bitch an a whore?
a whore sleeps with everyone at a party, and a bitch sleeps with everyone at a party except you.
a whore sleeps with everyone at a party, and a bitch sleeps with everyone at a party except you.
768 Re: Joke Thread Tue Jan 20 2015, 19:12
scottjames30
Nat Lofthouse
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest?
A rabbi cuts them off, A priest sucks them off.
A rabbi cuts them off, A priest sucks them off.
769 Re: Joke Thread Tue Jan 20 2015, 19:55
Bwfc1958
Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!
I'm going to rob a bank tomorrow.
I plan on wearing a clown wig and make up and only a thong and nipple tassels. I'll carry a tin of fluorescent paint and a goat, and, while in the bank, I'm going to fuck the goat and throw the paint all over the walls, all the while ripping up pages of a phonebook and swearing my head off.
After getting the money, I'll take a shit on the floor and piss everywhere.
I will then escape in a van shaped like a giant pink cock.
Let's see crimewatch stage a fucking reconstruction of that.
I plan on wearing a clown wig and make up and only a thong and nipple tassels. I'll carry a tin of fluorescent paint and a goat, and, while in the bank, I'm going to fuck the goat and throw the paint all over the walls, all the while ripping up pages of a phonebook and swearing my head off.
After getting the money, I'll take a shit on the floor and piss everywhere.
I will then escape in a van shaped like a giant pink cock.
Let's see crimewatch stage a fucking reconstruction of that.
770 Re: Joke Thread Sat Jan 31 2015, 08:01
Guest
Guest
A mother is cleaning her sons room when she sees some magazines under his bed.....
Curious, she grabs the magazines just to find that they are S&M porn magazines. In her horror she screams.
Hearing her screams, the father rushes in, sees the wife crying, sits down next to her on the sons bed and asks "What's wrong?".
Pointing to the magazines in her hand he asks "What are those?" She hands him the magazines.
He flips through them, his eyes widen as he see's some of most explicit and disturbing S&M images his minds could have ever imagined.
The mother, between sobs, asks her husband "What are we ever going to do with this boy?"
The husband replies "Well, I don't know, but I'm not going to spank him, that's for sure!"
Curious, she grabs the magazines just to find that they are S&M porn magazines. In her horror she screams.
Hearing her screams, the father rushes in, sees the wife crying, sits down next to her on the sons bed and asks "What's wrong?".
Pointing to the magazines in her hand he asks "What are those?" She hands him the magazines.
He flips through them, his eyes widen as he see's some of most explicit and disturbing S&M images his minds could have ever imagined.
The mother, between sobs, asks her husband "What are we ever going to do with this boy?"
The husband replies "Well, I don't know, but I'm not going to spank him, that's for sure!"
771 Re: Joke Thread Sun Feb 01 2015, 10:35
Bwfc1958
Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!
I knocked on my neighbours door at 3am this morning and said,"I've been listening to your shit music for the last 4 hours!"
"That's impossible", he replied, "my CD's were stolen in a burglary last night".
"I know", I said, "and now I wish I'd never fucking bothered".
"That's impossible", he replied, "my CD's were stolen in a burglary last night".
"I know", I said, "and now I wish I'd never fucking bothered".
772 Re: Joke Thread Sun Feb 15 2015, 22:31
Guest
Guest
Not really a joke, but go onto google maps type in the word gobshites and see where you end up.
773 Re: Joke Thread Sun Feb 15 2015, 23:04
karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Posts : 38157
Join date : 2012-08-04
774 Re: Joke Thread Fri Feb 20 2015, 18:13
gloswhite
Guðni Bergsson
Three men - a Canadian farmer, a Muslim fanatic and a White Trash Biker are all walking together one day.
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. 'I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total', says the Genie.
The Canadian says, 'I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada.'
POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.
The Muslim was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall around Afghanistan, Palestine, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come into our precious land.'
POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.
The Biker says, 'I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.'
The Genie explains, 'Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the countries. Nothing can get in or out: it's virtually impenetrable.'
The Biker sits down on his Harley, cracks a beer, lights a cigar, smiles and says,
'Fill it with water.'
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. 'I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total', says the Genie.
The Canadian says, 'I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada.'
POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.
The Muslim was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall around Afghanistan, Palestine, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come into our precious land.'
POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.
The Biker says, 'I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.'
The Genie explains, 'Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the countries. Nothing can get in or out: it's virtually impenetrable.'
The Biker sits down on his Harley, cracks a beer, lights a cigar, smiles and says,
'Fill it with water.'
775 Re: Joke Thread Wed Feb 25 2015, 18:59
Guest
Guest
My Wife came home early one day and found me having a wank in the kitchen. Before I could pull my trousers up she was on it and gave me the best blow job ever. Confused I asked " we haven't had sex for months and know this, Why?"
She replied "I only washed the floor this morning, I'd rather clean my teeth, than get that fuckin' mop out again!!"
She replied "I only washed the floor this morning, I'd rather clean my teeth, than get that fuckin' mop out again!!"
776 Re: Joke Thread Wed Feb 25 2015, 19:02
Guest
Guest
Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near.
His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him.
He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in
place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to
speak:
a.. "My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses.
b.. My daughter Sybil, you take the apartments over in the East End.
c.. My son, Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the
City Centre.
d.. Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential
buildings on the banks of the river."
The nurse and witnesses are blown away, never knowing the
extent of his property holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse
says, "Mrs Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man
to have accumulated all this wealth".
Sarah replies, “Wealth? .... Wealth! The arsehole had a paper round!"
His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him.
He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in
place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to
speak:
a.. "My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses.
b.. My daughter Sybil, you take the apartments over in the East End.
c.. My son, Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the
City Centre.
d.. Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential
buildings on the banks of the river."
The nurse and witnesses are blown away, never knowing the
extent of his property holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse
says, "Mrs Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man
to have accumulated all this wealth".
Sarah replies, “Wealth? .... Wealth! The arsehole had a paper round!"
777 Re: Joke Thread Fri Feb 27 2015, 20:58
Reebok Trotter
Nat Lofthouse
50 Shades of Salford:
"Even though he only had one tattoo she yearned for him to fill those lonely hours between Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women. As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told her it was benefit day and her velour tracksuit would be hanging from the lampshade tonight. As she stood in line at the jobcentre thinking of the reasons why she couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past her pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, BO and Lynx. She turned around and there was Dwayne. Their eyes met and he was soon lifting her onto the wheelie bins behind Iceland. He tied his staffy to the lampost at the top of the alley. There was a tramp watching but that just added to the mystery. Her life would never be the same again........"
"Even though he only had one tattoo she yearned for him to fill those lonely hours between Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women. As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told her it was benefit day and her velour tracksuit would be hanging from the lampshade tonight. As she stood in line at the jobcentre thinking of the reasons why she couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past her pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, BO and Lynx. She turned around and there was Dwayne. Their eyes met and he was soon lifting her onto the wheelie bins behind Iceland. He tied his staffy to the lampost at the top of the alley. There was a tramp watching but that just added to the mystery. Her life would never be the same again........"
778 Re: Joke Thread Fri Feb 27 2015, 21:10
boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Now that's a film I'd go and see.779 Re: Joke Thread Wed Mar 04 2015, 17:13
Guest
Guest
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship.
The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink."
They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realised the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."
At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. Look", she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."
The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink."
They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realised the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."
At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. Look", she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."
780 Re: Joke Thread Wed Mar 04 2015, 19:26
aaron_bwfc
Moderator
Reebok Trotter wrote:50 Shades of Salford:
"Even though he only had one tattoo she yearned for him to fill those lonely hours between Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women. As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told her it was benefit day and her velour tracksuit would be hanging from the lampshade tonight. As she stood in line at the jobcentre thinking of the reasons why she couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past her pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, BO and Lynx. She turned around and there was Dwayne. Their eyes met and he was soon lifting her onto the wheelie bins behind Iceland. He tied his staffy to the lampost at the top of the alley. There was a tramp watching but that just added to the mystery. Her life would never be the same again........"
Message [Page 39 of 50]
Similar topics
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum