Nigerian Scouting thread.

Reebok Trotter wrote:

largehat wrote:

Reebok Trotter wrote:
Expect approximately 15,000 Naira on Friday. I will confirm full payment details via PM.

There are currently some security issues surrounding transfer of Naira to Nigeria at the moment via both Western Union and Moneygram.

May I suggest that it would be appropriate to circumvent this embargo by making payment in Mongolian Tugriks.

1 Naira = 8.224 Tugriks.

Thanks for the info LH. I was not aware of this problem. I am guessing it has been caused by the double dip recession.

Brother Dar, Would you prefer Mr Burnside to pay your wages in Tugriks instead ?

Lai Lai !! don't even try it,

@Boss RT, U know i faced enough complications changing frm Western Union to MONEY GRAM, And another thing is that i'll appreciate u give the precise amount to be paid and not the rounded up/down figure, as the bank officials takes things too strict nowadays because of scams.

As for the ((Mongoliann Mongolian Tugriks. 1 Naira = 8.224 Tugriks)) I've never heard of it and am sure no bank in my current state takes anything of such.
There for my take would be the Gram or the Union ....

Brother Dar, I will run it by Mr Burnside and ask him to try transferring your wages in Naira first and if there is a problem I will get back to you.

Brother Dar, we have a slight fiscal fuck-up on our hands. Mr Burnside banks with the Royal Bank of Scotland and Nat West. He has informed me that his accounts have been temporarily frozen due to a temporary technical computer glitch at their head office in New Delhi.

Mr Burnside has threatened to transfer all his money to Barclays but they have told him not to waste his time because Barclays are under investigation by the German Chancellor, Angela Murkin, for tweaking interest rates.

They have assured Mr Burnside that their staff will be working over the weekend to put things right and you should hopefully have your wages on Monday 2nd July.

The RBS and Nat West do not deal in Tugriks so your wages will be in Naira as previous.

Brother Dar, I have just got back from a meeting with the ' Burnt Oak ' Society at their head office in Threadneedle Street, London.

I put forward a half-decent case on behalf of Bolton Nuts that some sponsors were a bit backwards at coming forwards where money was concerned.

I put Mr Burnside on the spot because he seemed to have lost interest in the Bill he owes but he assured me, in front of the committee, that your wages will be sorted tomorrow. ( Tuesday 3rd July Greenwich Meantime )

All of the committee have expressed the view that they wish for you to continue with your scouting endeavours but they are hesitant to splash out the readies in these stringent times.

I submitted a motion for perusal ( I admit, it wasn't a pretty sight! ) to the committee that each member should guarantee sponsorship for four reports per month i.e. one report per week.

My motion was examined in depth and passed by Doctor G McKeith that it should be accepted carte blanche without further ado.

From tomorrow you should have your wages paid for June plus you have a guaranteed sponsor for the next twelve months on the basis that you submit four reports per month.

I await instructions as to your sponsor for July and I will report back when I have less time.

Brother Dar, Apologies for the delay but I struggled to find Mr Burnside all morning. This afternoon I managed to locate him propping up the bar in Claridges. He gave me a 'cock and bull' story about his battery hens not laying and his cattle ranch being closed due to an out break of bovine TB. I told him to cut to the chase and just let me know if he had sorted out the bill. He said that he had been unable to because his business colleague, a Mr Robert Diamond had just been laid off from the bank where he worked and this had resulted in Mr Burnside having a cash flow problem. He then introduced me to a Mr Anthony Scannell who he said was his assistant. Mr Scannell verified the situation for me and suggested I go back to Clarence House and appeal to the select committee of the ' Burnt Oak.'

This I did. I spoke with Lord Monton of Hulme, no less. I told him in no uncertain terms that unless the monies owed were not deposited by 12 midday tomorrow ( Wednesday 4th July ) I would be returning with some of my ' Friends of the Earth ' and that we would be staging a dirty protest in the foyer that Bobby Sands would be proud of.

At this point, a Mr Theodore Edward Roach ( Ted to his mates ) stepped forward and said that he would honour the bill in the morning. He said he would have done it that afternoon but his driver, a Mr William ( Willie ) Stroker had been calling to collect him but had took a wrong turn at Brands Hatch and had written off his Bentley.

Mr Roach allowed me to take a photograph of him and I told him I will be posting it on Bolton Nuts so if he doesn't cough up the readies our members will know what he looks like. He wasn't too pleased about me taking his mugshot but he assured me not to worry as he is going home to Cheshire tonight and will sort things out in the morning.


New sponsor for June. Mr Ted Roach.

I know his son William, who prefer's to be called 'Ken'.

He's a bit boring imo - but don't tell him I said that!

hmmmmm !!!!
I bet i don't have much to do this month again then. I already prepared 2 . Anyway, i'll be waitn for your pm.

Good news Brother Dar! I have just received a facsimile from Coutts confirming that they have authorised full payment to you via Western Union from Mr Edward Roach.

Your wages will be ready for collection tomorrow from any bank in Nigeria which deals with Western Union.

Mr Roach has also been on the phone complaining about the unflattering photo I took of him. He has e-mailed me a better picture of his good self and asked me to include it. Always happy to oblige a benevolent sponsor!

this message is to bring to the knowledge of my followers here that i have been paid for the month of june, special thanks to Mr Edward Roach who took a bold step in place of my former sponsor who pranking on us....
Also a big one to RT and the rest of the white shirt followers around here.

Excellent news Brother Dar. I knew Ted Roach would come through when it came to the bill.

I have managed to secure you a new sponsor for July who is happy to stump up the lucre for five tantalising reports. Your sponsor for July is Mr Richard ( Dicky ) Bingham. Mr Bingham has dual citizenship because he spends most of his time in Venezuela. In 1974 he purchased a Coprolite mine in Venezuela with his business associates, John Stonehouse, Ronald Biggs and John Darwin. Over the years his associates became homesick and one by one they returned to the UK leaving Dicky to run the mine on his own. He only comes home to the UK during the football season where he divides his time between supporting his beloved Marylebone Wanderers and gambling in his favourite casinos..

It is important that you submit your July reports before the 25th because Dicky is heavily involved in organising the Preston Guild where he will be running a parched peas stall throughout the festivities.


Dapper Dicky Bingham. July sponsor.

LH, great words on the avatar, but would have preferred 'assets' instead of 'IQ'

RT, I think your talking shite

The picture of Mr Bingham very much reminds me of the jockey of Shergar who seem to turn up more often than I actually winning the lotto jackpot!

Glos - it is my belief that RT is a splendid wordsmith and raconteur.

Nigerian Bolton will be very ' lucky ' if he gets paid this month.

Hello and welcome Mark.

It's surprising the contacts that Reebok Trotter finds to pay Dar (Nigerian Bolton) his monthly wages but up to know they have all been made and I don't doubt this one will too - some way or other!

Hope you've enjoyed reading this thread, if you have I've no doubt you will find the rest of the forum to your taste too.

I hope so anyway!

Sluffy am got to tell darquam be very carful with this Bigham person. Am seen his picture befor and am think his maybe cheat people and go to prison. Ask Darquam to get paid from Bigham before his do any work is maybe better.

Thanks for the welcome. Until I saw this post I didn't know wanderers had scouts in nigeria. Who actually pays him?

Mo, I think you may be right about Mr Bingham but Reebok Trotter knows what he is doing - so have faith.

Mark, it's a bit of a long tale to tell but Reebok Trotter is the one who gets all the financial wheels moving and Dar is never out of pocket for his efforts. Just a pity that he's not found us the next Jay Jay yet though!

To be fair to Mr Bingham the picture he sent me was taken a long time ago. I have been in contact with him and asked him to furnish a more recent photograph taken at his parched pea stall and he has kindly obliged. Hope his current photo clears matters up.