Nigerian Scouting thread.

I'm just glad you're ok, Brother Dar... I heard about that nasty piece of work at the University where shootings took place!

It's all good news. Banks of the Croal has found a new sponsor for November so things are ticking along nicely on the scouting front.

Reebok Trotter wrote:It's all good news. Banks of the Croal has found a new sponsor for November so things are ticking along nicely on the scouting front.

Sad to say Mr Flash has turned out to be fraud, apparently he's well known around Town for being a Master of disguise and the Conning of Simple Folk.

Here he is trying to sell Fred Dibnah's House to Two Japanese Tourists.

He looks like a right Spiv. If I see him knocking around Bolton I am going to fill him in.

Brother Dar, I trust things are running smoothly in downtown Lagos ? I have just got back from a meeting in Pentonville with Mr Swindley. He informs me that he is going on home leave tomorrow to Thripsy Shee where he plans to invest in some Polly Peck haberdashery. He will not be returning to blighty until Sunday 4th November when he will pay you in full for your tantalising reports.

As well as offering to sponsor you for six reports he will also stump up extra for any tuneful melodies if you wish to include them.

OH !!!! SHITE !!!!
Already set for 8 reports !!!


would roll them in shortly..............
In other news, things are going cool in lagos as am currently chilling with the William Sisters ......

October Reports



Report 1

I went to the Stadium in lagos as have done in the previous month to check on who and who would show up to play the wonderful game of soccer. It didn’t take too long before I came across two different teams playing exciting football. I asked around to know what the match was about, and I was told it was 2 teams from two different streets playing up for a challenge, I had a sit for my self and watched carefully. To be fair, both teams had good players, and they both did well when it comes to making advances at each other and getting a cross in for their top man. I later got a man who was worth enough to write something about, His name was shayo, playing for the team in yellow, u can spot him from the yellow team as he limps at some point, in a leftback position. He did well in connecting with the winger and stopped a lot of opposition threats. Even though they lost the match at the end of the day, he was faultless all through the match.



Video : https://youtu.be/mebxNu4RTdQ



Report 2



It had seem as if the match I went out to cover 3 day ago was just one out of a big tournament around the street of lagos, I got to the stadium this time to find out the teams were still at a low low preliminary stage. A lot of teams would play together before the final 16 is now extracted for a 4weeks tournament. I don’t think it matters to waste time on getting the names of the streets playing, but today, I jammed another interesting match. I joined at the 2^nd half, and watched both teams play. It was easy to spot a forward/midfieldr who I later found out was Yousuf who so many times caused HAZARD for the opposing team, they were already leading by 3goals before I got there, but I witnessed 2 more and it was yousuf who made the assists. Check out for the guy in yellow and a blue short as he dispossess a player with an Okocha style.



Video : https://youtu.be/BtJNRx9oIs4







Report 3



On my next trip to the stadium, I wasn’t that lucky with meeting a match played by any standard team, but after some look around, I found some boys playing four aside football with stones used to demarcate goalpost. I sat and watched them play for some time. Even though, some of them were playing like they were drunk, there was still a guy among those in a Barca Jersey who once in a while tossed the ball in an impressive way. When I did a further check, I found that his name was Kunle. He looks useful when it comes to sticking someone in the middle of the pitch.



Video: https://youtu.be/RhCJhPwly0g





Report 4



I got back to the stadium again to find out the street soccer competition was ongoing, I was quick to stick my site to the team playing around me. As usual, I got me a seat and some refreshment to keep me glued, I watched for a while and noticed two good players. Check out the guy who makes a run from behind and proceeds upfront (Uche) and the guy in white but yellow wear (Taye). Uche was playing like a Deffensive midfielder should play, he distributes the ball well and makes runs towards his opponent once in a while. Taye was on the right wing, he somehow loves to burst into tackles and win the ball then makes a pass to his team mates.



Video: https://youtu.be/zw3OFBnnaNo





Report 5



I was back to the Big pitch this time for a match between two low division clubs, Got there early enough to watch them kick off. It didn’t take long at all before one of the teams scored, it was a perfect finish from a guy said to be named ‘Amuda’ . the other team reacted well to the goal and pressed on to force the best out of the Blue team’s defenders but unluckily for them lacked the players with Amuda’s kind of finish. Amuda was impressive throughout the first half as he made the opposition keeper go through a lot while perfectly exploiting the weakness of the opposition’s defence.



Video: https://youtu.be/4LvmJApPfPQ





Report 6



Welcome to the national stadium in lagos, as usual it’s a street team playing another today but fortunately its an exciting display, picture wise movement wise. Don’t exactly know the street names but u should watch the video and see the movements of all the players. I wld single out the guy in a yellow wear and a green short who makes a run at the beginning. The name is Jibade and is a striker, did well throughout the game, the other footballers were fun to watch too. The match ended as a 2-2 draw as none of the teams gave the other the advantage on the goal count.



Video; https://youtu.be/zz4r4RwkkHI

Sorry they came in late though, i would be around for any remarks. Hoping RT is somewhere close though .

VENI VIDI VICI

Brother Dar, I have notified Mr Swindley that your reports have come through and I will contact you as soon as he confirms payment.

P.S. Where did you get to know Serena and Venus ?

Brother Dar, Mr Swindley has not responded to my e-mail so I telephoned his suite at the Pentonville Hilton. I was informed by the Concierge ( Warden ) that Lenny has moved to more plush accommodation at Long Lartin in the Vale of Evesham in Worcestershire. I have left instructions for him to contact me this evening and will report back later.

Ok No problem, I have already started work on this month's report.

Well just hang fire with that for the time being. I am working on a new sponsor for November but until you have got the readies from Mr Swindley it's best not to jump the gun.

I have a meeting with the Commons select committee in the morning so if Lenny lets us down I will have no option other than to name and shame the greasy olive.

Good news Brother Dar, I managed to get hold of Mr Swindley this morning. He has been awfully busy sewing mail bags because they had a job lot arrived from the Post Office in time for Xmas. Once he has finished sewing the mailbags he has to sort out a delivery of burlap and hessian to make some rucksacks for the Mujihadeen community. He is meeting with his accountant tomorrow and he will authorise him to make payment in full for your tantalising reports.

He is also going to put me in contact with a new sponsor for November.

God news Brother Dar. Mr Swindley has come up with the readies. I have just returned from having brunch with him and he has asked me to convey his pleasure on reading your excellent reports. He has also told me to tell you that if you are ever looking to invest in stocks and shares for your portfolio then he is the man who can.

He also introduced me to Mr Lionel Bells-Palsy who is the proprietor of the Scolds Bridle Tea Rooms on the High Street in Johnson Fold. Lionel used to play for Wanderers when we were called Christ Church FC and he was one of the original Christian soldiers whose motto was quite simply ' Onwards'

Unfortunately, he had to retire from football due to shin splints but due to being blessed with two left feet he turned his hand to tap dancing where he was very successful dancer under his stage name of Lionel Ogus. Since retiring from dancing, Lionel has devoted all his time to his world famous tea room and he also does a naff line in traditional British tea cosies which are still very popular with folk who hanker after the halcyon days of the British Empire.

Lionel has offered to sponsor you for November for four tantalising reports and has offered to throw in a genuine authentic Deluxe Union Jack tea cosy ( made in Taiwan )as well. Photo enclosed of Lionel in his tea room about to serve an ingratiated customer. Dib Dib.

I bet Lionels making a packet, brilliant idea it's just what Johnson Fold was lacking, a Tea Room, especially on those endless sunny days in Summer, somewhere to relax and enjoy the surroundings.

Big Thanks to Mr Swindler, I have collected my wages for OCT.
Also a big one to RT for always being there to be sure all is according to plan.
I luv working for BoltonNuts and am ever thankful for all past efforts.

Thanks !!!

Banks of the Croal wrote:I bet Lionels making a packet, brilliant idea it's just what Johnson Fold was lacking, a Tea Room, especially on those endless sunny days in Summer, somewhere to relax and enjoy the surroundings.

Lionel has big plans. He intends expanding his franchise to open further tea rooms in Breightmet, Great Lever and Seaton Sluice.

I have just got back from officially opening Mr Bells-Palsy's new tea room and cafe, The Greasy Spoon, on Shiffnall Street in Breighmet. It is located at the premises of the former Ebony Club just opposite Normid near Four Lane Ends. Mr BP has spared no expense in refurbishing the place to a high standard and a journalist and photographer from the Bolton Bugle were present to record this auspicious occasion.

When Mr BP asked me if I would be prepared to do the honours I readily agreed on the condition that he help me in finding a Sponsor for Brother Dar as well as giving some publicity to Bolton Nuts. In return, I agreed to promote his new venture to our members. Mr BP also invited the Breightmet branch of the WRVS along to assist.

The manager is a Mr William ( Willy ) Stroker who was the former chief tea blender at Starbucks and his knowledge of tea is second to none. As well as serving Darjeeling, Camomile and Ceylon tea they also do a very good selection of food including such delicacies as Toad in the hole and Welsh Rarebit. For Tiffin, they have a fine selection of puddings including Spotted Dick and Manchester Tart. Mr Stroker is also offering a special concession to Wanderers fans of a full English breakfast and a mug of Earl Grey for only £9.99 ( on production of a season ticket only )

The morning was a success and as I left, Mr BP gave me the name of a contact in Northern Ireland who may be interested in sponsoring Brother Dar. ( I am flying out to Belfast in the morning so fingers crossed that the meeting will be a positive one)

I was also presented with my own specially commissioned Trotter tea cosy for the occasion and this will take pride of place in my loft with various other mementoes I have hoarded over the years.

If anyone is thinking of visiting The Greasy Spoon I can assure you that quality is of the highest standard. All the cups, plates and saucers are made exclusively by Poundstretcher and all of the food is sourced locally apart from the tea which is all foreign. One of Mr BP's top selling brands of tea can actually be bought in Tesco.



A really good tea for a slurp.


Mr Bells-Palsy, Reebok Trotter and members of the WRVS.


Mr BP, RT and Manager, Mr Willy Stroker.

Brother Dar, Not for the squeamish is this, but avoid the area of Aluu at all costs.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2239201/Necklace-lynchings-shocked-Africa-Agonising-deaths-students-mistaken-thieves-burned-alive-posted-online.html?ICO=most_read_module